Not Satire: Gay couple says they will “immediately” seek asylum in Gaza if conservatives take over Spain
3rd September 2026
Who wants to tell them?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
3rd September 2026
Who wants to tell them?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
29th August 2026
I recall reading about a person who set up a compact apartment inside a Walmart sign.
I also recall seeing a YouTube video with instructions on how to cobble together a fake electrical utility box that could be used as a secret hide.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
28th August 2026
Apparently your girlfriend is just a rental, so there’s no point in complaining about imperfections because you won’t have it very long.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
26th August 2026
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
25th August 2026
The owner of a stately home used as Wayne Manor in the film Batman Begins has been told he could lose the property unless he conducts bat surveys.
The Grade I-listed Mentmore Towers in Buckinghamshire has been served a formal listed-building repairs notice after a significant deterioration in the building’s condition.
Simon Halabi, the Syrian-born British investor who was once valued at £3bn and owned stakes in the Shard, bought the mansion in 1999, but it has since fallen into disrepair.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
23rd August 2026
That explains a lot.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
21st August 2026
The PSYCA’s webpage asks: “With countless climate solutions, why are we in a crisis?” The pitch: “Join a community of 12,000 raising & expanding consciousness to discover pathways forward.”
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
7th August 2026
A 20-year-old Swiss woman in a black leather trench coat and high heels posing in front of a helicopter may not look like the typical Pokémon card collector.
But Jolina Gisele has amassed what is believed to be the world’s largest collection of the Japanese trading cards.
The self-styled “Pokémon princess” is now selling her 60,000-card collection, which is estimated to be worth £90m, after building it since she was seven.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
6th August 2026
Irish health chiefs have declared that “pregnant men” are entitled to maternity leave—despite pregnancy and childbirth being exclusively female.
Gript reports that new guidance from the state-run Health Service Executive (HSE) says transgender employees who are legally recognised as male can claim 26 weeks of paid maternity leave if they become pregnant or give birth.
“Since 2023, transgender men who are pregnant or have given birth can access maternity leave,” the advice states.
To qualify, employees must hold a gender recognition certificate under Ireland’s Gender Recognition Act 2015, which allows a woman to change her legal sex to male.
They can also claim a further 16 weeks of unpaid maternity leave immediately after the paid period ends.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
5th August 2026
My favorite is the Flaming Pig.
“What is that delicious smell? OH MY GOD IT’S THE FLAMING PIG!”
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »
3rd August 2026
You thought woke was dead, but it turns out it’s gone to the moon.
Every time I hear an Australian accent these days I can’t help but translate it to retard.
That’s Dr. — yes, DOCTOR — Rebecca Allen, the co-director of the Space Technology and Industry Institute at Swinburne University of Technology.
This happened during a real segment on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation concerning a discarded SpaceX rocket stage that will apparently slam into the moon, creating a crater. Allen is concerned that Elon won’t have the proper respect for the “indigenous sky country” honored by people groups who never invented the wheel.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
31st July 2026
Twenty Ethiopians connected to a youth football team disappeared in Sweden on the final day of the Gothia Cup youth tournament, prompting an international missing persons search.
The group consists mainly of boys aged between 14 and 17, together with one or more adult leaders. Police believe they left voluntarily, amid suspicions that they may be attempting to remain in Sweden or another European country, although officers say that has not been confirmed.
Uh-huh. ‘Not been confirmed’. “The prisoners may be attempting a jail-break, but that has not been confirmed.”
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Entire Ethiopian Football Team Vanishes in Sweden After Youth Tournament
27th July 2026
Yes, Britain has found its newest champion of “women’s empowerment”: A devout Muslim woman who showed up to collect her award at the Palace of Westminster fully covered in a niqab.
Khadija Patel, founder of the KRIMMZ Girls Youth Club, was one of 28 recipients of the prestigious British Citizen Award for her tireless work getting hundreds of young girls — many from Muslim backgrounds — into sports like cricket, soccer, cycling, netball, and more. She builds confidence, promotes teamwork, breaks down “cultural barriers,” and all that good stuff.
Truly commendable community service!
She can stab people and rob stores and never be found. Pretty empowering.
Posted in Living with Islam: The world's most intolerant—and intolerable—religion, You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Muslim Woman in Full Body Covering Wins “British Citizen Award For Empowering Young Women”
27th July 2026
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Happy Bagpipe Appreciation Day
26th July 2026
At 4:00 AM, while most people were sleeping, Christopher Bruton-Frazier was having the time of his life, driving a $300,000, 4-ton, armored, tactical S.W.A.T. BearCat.
If he was a S.W.A.T. officer that might have made sense, but Frazier was just some guy off the street who was walking by the NJ Transit Emergency Services Unit headquarters parking garage in Newark and saw an opportunity.
Apparently, no one was around to notice him strolling through the facility, opening the door, and driving out.
New Jersey. What can you say?
They then pulled the security footage and ran it through facial recognition software, which pulled up Frazier’s profile. When they showed up at his house, they found the BearCat’s backup camera in his room as well as some stacks of heroin.
Blue State Blues.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on New Jersey Man Steals Armored S.W.A.T. BearCat and Takes It for a Joyride
12th July 2026
BBC, a Voice of the Crust.
Forget the butter, I want ot see the cow that it comes from.
Granted, that’s cheaper than Real Butter….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
12th July 2026
I mean, really, what was she thinking?
And of course he has to apologize, because Feminism.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Zulu King Scolds Wife for Having Affair Without Permission
7th July 2026
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Police Say This Maryland Man’s Truck Was Stolen While He Was Busy Burglarizing a Verizon Store
1st July 2026
The Treasury has removed a numeracy test from its graduate scheme to boost diversity.
What kind of ‘graduates’ find numeracy a barrier?
The government department quietly scrapped the numerical reasoning test from its application process in 2020 owing “to evidence of the test having an adverse impact on candidate diversity”.
I guess diversity is more desired than, say, core competency.
The measure, uncovered by the Spectator magazine, has been described as “insane” and “through the looking glass” by critics.
Well, duh.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Treasury Ditched Numeracy Test to Increase Diversity Hires
30th June 2026
Thieves in Lagos de Moreno, Jalisco, Mexico are all asking one question: ¿Quién eres tú?
And the terrifying answer in the night is, ¡Yo soy, Batman!
According to authorities, a masked vigilante is swooping in, beating up bad guys, and leaving them gift wrapped for the cops to pick up.
No good deed goes unpunished … by the state.
These are the same police who are quite happy to receive a polite bribe if you are moved to offer one. Just to be nice.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on “Mexican Batman” Keeps Gift-Wrapping Bad Guys and Leaving Them for the cops (You’ll Never Guess Who the Police Are After)
28th June 2026
Nice to see the UK has its priorities right.
In other words, sacrifice yourselves to save the planet, Brits.
So if you live on the ground floor, you get to choose between dying of heat or letting criminal migrants break into your home to kill you.
Thank God I don’t live in Britain.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
22nd June 2026
Of course, every service needs a ‘mess dress’ uniform, even though people quit dressing for dinner in 1960 when JFK took off his top hat.
If they’re going to use the Star Fleet swoosh, they ought to consider using the Star Fleet uniform. It’s only fair.
I can’t wait to see Trump in one….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Space Force to Test New Mess Dress Uniform This Fall
19th June 2026
Well, this is almost the worst kind of update we could have to this story.
The alleged lunatic who chucked a 3-year-old kid into a croc enclosure for no discernible reason in a senseless and random attack is already out on bail.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on British Authorities Have Granted Bail to the Psycho Who Tossed a Toddler Into a Crocodile Enclosure Yesterday
18th June 2026
The line between reality and satire gets thinner by the day.
If you didn’t hear, the fake news has gone all-out this past week with actual journalism (albeit stupid journalism) into the algae bloom that has hit Trump’s renovated Reflecting Pool on the National Mall.
It’s funny that they didn’t have time to analyze the water when it was dark green during Obama’s years, or to pay attention to billions in migrant fraud, or to investigate Covid lies, but they did have time to send a crew to get water samples to make Trump look bad.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Liberals Hold Pro-Algae Protest at Renovated Reflecting Pool
1st June 2026
Is there an official dictionary somewhere that translates all of these Woke shibboleths?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on University of Minnesota Student Reports Peer for Wanting To Say “Mothers” Instead of “Lactating Individuals” in Grant Proposals
1st June 2026
Honestly, the ancient pagans that sacrificed their children to demons were way cooler than our modern demonic heresies.
Luther is no doubt rotating in his grave had high speed.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Lutheran Pastor Refers to God Almighty as the “Drag Queen and Trans Man” Who Is “Fluid and Ever-Becoming One”
31st May 2026
The departure of more than 10,000 federal lawyers has left some agencies without sufficient staff and has boosted the ranks of state attorneys general offices and advocacy group
Raise your hand if you think that the Federal government needs more lawyers.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Trump Administration Sees Striking Exodus of Legal Talent (New York Times)
18th May 2026
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on New Polls Show Dead Heat Between ‘Make Everything Worse’ Candidate and ‘Fix Everything’ Candidate
18th May 2026
The Babylon Bee can’t compete with this.
Seriously, imagine being Seth Dillon and Kyle Mann over at The Bee. How do you make a joke that’s crazier than this? How do you keep up with reality?
Still, Christians (including the prophets at The Bee) have longed warned that reality and satire would merge.
If Scots will elect this sort of travesty, they deserve what they get. Think of it as evolution in action.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Transgender Indian Migrant Without Work Visa Who Got Elected to Scottish Parliament Wants Locals to Pay Reparations to Palestinians
15th May 2026
I needed a laugh and here’s Australia being a joke of a country:
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Australia Fines Woman $120,000 for Refusing to Let Man Join Female-Only Social Platform
10th May 2026
Watch carefully as Britain flushes itself down the toilet….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Non-Binary Indian on 3-Year Student Visa Wins 5-Year Term in Scottish Parliament
28th April 2026
Sometimes, unintentional humor is the best humor.
Reality has limits. Human greed has none.
Give them ‘reparations’ including shipping them all back to Africa and barring them from returning except as tourists.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Presenter at Illinois Reparations Commission Meeting Says They Need $16 Trillion (He Was Dead Serious)
20th April 2026
Every once in a while you wander across some news that makes you wonder if this isn’t, after all, the worst timeline.
For example, a radio station in Cincinnati will literally be able to sing the words to the old sitcom title song, and it will be true.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Cincinnati Radio Station Buys WKRP Call Sign From Classic Sitcom
20th April 2026
The Volo Museum in Illinois installed a permanent Titanic display three years ago and the display immediately flooded.
Then, on the anniversary of the Titanic sinking, it flooded again.
According to FOX 32, museum curator Brian Grams is convinced the display is haunted.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Illinois Museum’s Titanic Exhibit Floods on Anniversary of Ship’s Sinking
16th April 2026
Sometimes you don’t really need any sobriety tests to figure out when someone is hammered.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Florida Woman Gets DUI After Handing Officer Barnes & Noble Gift Card Instead of ID
15th April 2026
This is quite the ambitious headline revealing the latest ‘plan’ for Hormuz to come out of Europe, as it sits on the sidelines watching the US get potentially bogged down in the region following a month of heavy airstrikes on Iran: Europe drafts postwar plan to free up Strait of Hormuz without US, WSJ reports.
This is apparently a plan for after the main crisis is over, amid the strait still being blockaded (with the each warring side insisting it is they in control of the strategic chokepoint waterway). It seems the main idea is to eventually take the United States out of the equation, allowing only for the ‘neutral’ countries to free up and clean the Hormuz Strait.
The problem with socialists is that they spend too much time breathing their own exhaust.
The reality is that this supposed plan brings things back full circle to problem #1… as it’s not as if either Iran, or the United States, will simply shrug and cede control so that a European military coalition can step in and take over.
Which side will ever actually agree to this? The obvious answer, at least for the time being and foreseeable future is… nobody.
And then there’s the question of what leverage or force will Europe employ to assert its military presence in the strait in order to keep all parties in line… some mere harsh language and strong words?
Maybe if they wish hard enough Tinkerbell will return to health.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Europe Drafts Pie in the Sky Plan to Free Up Hormuz Without ‘Belligerent’ Parties
12th April 2026
For the record, as Jim Treacher helpfully points out, it stands for “Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls, Two-Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, and “additional identities (“+”).
The excitement was started by a Canadian New Democratic Party member of parliament, Leah Gazan, who complained that not enough money was being spent to “deal with the ongoing genocide of MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+.”
I didn’t know that MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+ was a ethnic group. Perhaps someone might lend her a dictionary and point out that ‘genocide’ doesn’t mean what she apparently thinks it means.
Treacher tried and failed to keep a straight face in reporting on this phenomenon.
I’ll bet.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on It’s a MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+ World and We’re Just Living In It
9th April 2026
A pastor has been charged with gross negligence manslaughter following the death of a man during a paddling pool baptism.
Robert Smith, 61, from Brixton, London, died during the ceremony held in the back garden of an address in Erdington, Birmingham, on October 8 2023.
Cheryl Bartley, 48, who is the pastor for the Life Changing Ministries church, has since been charged with one count of gross negligence manslaughter in relation to her role in the baptism, the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) said.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Pastor Charged With Manslaughter After Man Dies During Baptism
29th March 2026
Father Adelir Antonio de Carli, a priest from Brazil, had a rather unconventional idea to raise money for charity.
Natural selection is working overtime these days.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Priest Attaches Himself to 1,000 Balloons and Suffers Horrifying Death
26th March 2026
The mayor of America’s third-largest city wants you to know his priorities.
(I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the residents of Chicago.)
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Chicago’s Mayor Just Unveiled an “Abolish ICE” Snowplow. For Real.
26th March 2026
There is perhaps nothing more revealing about the desperate state of Hollywood than its obsession with digging up old franchises in a futile race to capitalize on audeince nostalgia. In fact, it has been widely understood in the film industry for the past decade that almost no project will be greenlit unless it is a reboot, remake or “re-imagining” of a previously popular story property.
The problem, which everyone except Hollywood executives understands, is that you cannot recapture the magic of older hit movies, especially when your stable of writing talent is populated by an army of left-wing, pill popping ideological lunatics with no moral standards to speak of. These kinds of people are simply incapable of relating to the common moviegoer.
This dynamic has led Hollywood down a path of financial destruction, with dozens of big budget films bombing at the box office in the past year alone. Some projects have lost hundreds of millions of dollars and the smell of napalm is heavy in the air.
One disastrous reboot attempt that set Hollywood on the path of total defeat is Amazon’s ludicrous Lord Of The Rings project, “The Rings Of Power”. A non-canonical adaptation of limited parts of The Silmarillion, the show turns Galadriel, the personification of the pure feminine, into a spitting, angry feminist girl-boss that slaughters orcs by the barrel. The show’s writing was saturated with sad approximations of Tolkien-style dialogue written by people with no life experience or wisdom.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on New Lord of the Rings Movie to Be Written by … Stephen Colbert?
25th March 2026
The very serious nation of Canada is going to get to the bottom of this incident.
No, not the Air Canada plane crashing into a truck on the La Guardia airport runway in New York earlier this week. We’re talking about the REAL incident.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Canadian Parliament Summons Air Canada CEO to “Explain Himself” for Not Speaking Enough French in His Statement About This Week’s Crash
25th March 2026
Newly released CIA documents reveal that the Biden regime identified “motherhood,” and “homemaking” as indicators of so-called “white racially and ethnically motivated violent extremism” (REMVE).
The Trump administration recently retracted an October 2021 intelligence assessment, titled “Women Advancing White Racially and Ethnically Motivated Violent Extremist Radicalization and Recruitment” that branded average women as domestic terrorists.
The Biden CIA invented the term “white REMVEs” to describe people they claimed “incite, facilitate or conduct violence because they believe their perception of an idealized white European ethnic identity is under attack from people who embody and support multiculturalism and globalism.”
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Biden-Era Intel Assessment Targeted White Moms and Homemakers as Potential Domestic Terrorists
24th March 2026
The Chicago City Council has approved a plan to boost tourism marketing by raising hotel taxes. Under Ordinance 2026-0022544, the total tax rate on hotel rooms will increase from 17.5% to 19% in downtown and nearby areas, according to Fox News.
The higher rate will apply to hotels with more than 100 rooms that choose to participate.
The report says that alongside the tax increase, the council created a Tourism Improvement District (TID) to fund Choose Chicago, the city’s tourism marketing organization. Revenue will support promotional campaigns and help cover bids for major events and conventions.
“How can we bring more tourists to Chicago?”
“I know! Let’s charge them a 19% tax on their hotel rooms!
“That’s brilliant!”
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Chicago Approves 19% Hotel Tax to Fund Tourism Push
24th March 2026
Drawings at an “anti-Semitic” art exhibition allegedly showing Jewish people eating babies are not “directly abusive or insulting” to Jews, a police force has decided.
Kent Police has ruled that art in the exhibition condemned by leading Jewish figures and politicians for portraying anti-Semitic tropes has not reached the threshold to be considered either a hate crime or a non-crime hate incident.
The force was responding to a complaint after the exhibition, called Drawings Against Genocide, prompted an outcry from Jewish campaign groups and politicians who said the artwork was “grotesque” and “not just sickening, but dangerous”.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Exhibition Showing ‘Jews’ Eating Babies Not Abusive or Insulting, Police Claim
20th March 2026
Yep, Karen here allegedly took a piece of lumber with a rusty nail and attempted to scratch the crap out of the dude’s Cybertruck. The owner was shocked because this happened well after all of the Tesla attacks last year.

Looks transgender to me…
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Behind the Times: Woman Named Karen Arrested for Vandalizing Cybertruck
18th March 2026
Zack Polanski’s claim that he could enlarge women’s breasts through hypnotherapy has put people off voting for the Green Party, polling has shown.
Gee, I wonder why.
A poll by More in Common found that a third (33 per cent) of voters would consider voting for the Greens.
These people are simply insane.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Polanski’s Breast Enlargement Claim Puts Public Off Greens
17th March 2026
More than 80 human rights and sport advocacy groups have called on the International Olympic Committee to abandon reported plans to introduce universal genetic sex testing for female athletes and impose a blanket ban on transgender and intersex competitors.
A joint statement released on Tuesday by the Sport & Rights Alliance (SRA), ILGA World, Humans of Sport, and dozens of other groups warned that the measures that will reportedly be recommended by the IOC’s Protection of the Female Category Working Group would set back gender equity in sport.
“Multiple sources have said the group has advised the IOC to require all women and girl athletes to undergo genetic sex verification and to bar transgender and intersex athletes from competing in women’s events. The IOC has not publicly confirmed the recommendations,” the statement said.
The SRA’s executive director Andrea Florence said sex testing and a blanket ban policy would be a “catastrophic erosion of women’s rights and safety.”
War Is Peace—Freedom Is Slavery—Sex Testing Violates the Rights and Safety of Women
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on IOC Urged to Drop Reported Gender Test Plans for Female Athletes
9th March 2026
While flames engulf Iranian oil depots following U.S. and Israeli strikes, and Iran retaliates with missiles targeting the UAE and Israel, the UK Ministry of Defence has sparked backlash by circulating a survey to troops about relaxing appearance standards. The questionnaire asks if male soldiers should be allowed to wear makeup, nail polish, and longer hair, ridiculously framing it as a push toward “gender-free” policies.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on As War Rages in Iran, UK MoD Surveys Troops on Wearing Makeup and Nail Polish
28th February 2026
The British gay icon Quentin Crisp was transgender, activists have claimed.
Pro-trans campaigners appear to have edited the author and raconteur’s entry on the website Wikipedia to describe him as a “she” throughout.
It has sparked a row with gender-critical gay rights activists, who have lambasted the online encyclopaedia for allowing history to be “rewritten”.
In a 1977 interview, Crisp, who lived his life as an effeminate gay man, said sex was immutable and that he was not a woman, even though he wished he had been one.
However, just before he died at the age of 90, he said he was a “woman trapped in a man’s body” and accepted he was transgender.
He said he knew he was not “physically a woman” and did not ask to be referred to as “she”.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Quentin Crisp Was Trans, Activists Claim