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Imagine that.

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Well, what else would you use a crab robot for? Seriously?

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1. Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
2. Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in San Francisco.

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With only about 50m left to drill, time is running out for the Russian scientists hoping to drill into Vostok – the world’s most enigmatic lake.

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“Our results suggest a potential association between daily diet soft drink consumption and vascular outcomes,” says Hannah Gardener of the Miami Uni medical school.

The peril associated with daily downing of mock-pop was revealed in a study encompassing some 2,564 subjects selected from a “multi-ethnic urban population” in Manhattan.

Hah! I knew it all along.

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Almost 1000 costumed ”guizers”, wearing winged helmets, sheepskins and carrying axes and shields, march through the streets of the town to recreate its ancient past.

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My, what a surprise. Aren’t you surprised? I’m sure surprised.

Repeat this three times: India is our friend, Pakistan is our enemy.

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It’s good to know that in this age of immediate and easy customer feedback that there are still companies that steadfastly refuse to listen to the people who have to use their products. Case in point: Microsoft.

Microsoft is a poster child for the programming approach ‘what programmers want is what ordinary customers want’.

If you haven’t been following this saga, Microsoft revealed a while back that the Ribbon found in Micosoft Office and other MS programs like WordPad and Paint is now coming to Windows Explorer as well. Did you need those extra pixels at the top of the screen? Too bad for you.

Buy a bigger monitor, you hoser. Get with the new millennium.

“Our view is that we do need to move the user interface forward and accept that a vocal set of customers are just not happy with the direction we’re going.”

I have never wanted to switch to Mac so badly in my life.

Buwah-hah-hah! Come to the appliance side, young Skywalker.

“We remind folks that there are third-party tools available… that provide a number of different interface paradigms. We do embrace the notion that third-party tools play an important part in the Windows experience.”

Yes, they do, because you keep making stupid decisions.

Sort of the way disinfectant plays a part in the medical experience.

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Muslim teenager Shamima Akhtar was kidnapped, imprisoned and had her hair cut off after her family saw her kiss a white man on her 18th birthday, a court has heard.

Will the Islamophobia never cease?

The car was driven back to the family home in Basingstoke, Hants, where it’s alleged she was dragged onto the sofa, called a whore and a prostitute and then had her waist-length hair cut to her neck by her two older sisters.

The jury heard how Shamima was punched by her sister Nadiya and overheard her brother on the phone, saying “Get the gun, I need the boys tonight.”

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The Pentagon doesn’t know what happened to more than $100 million in cash held at Saddam Hussein’s palace in Baghdad during the Iraq war, according to a new report by the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction.

What’s more, the Pentagon can’t find documents to explain what it spent as much as $1.7 billion on from funds held on behalf of the Iraqi government by the New York Federal Reserve, the report says.

Yeah, I really want the government in charge of our health care. Think of the efficiency! Think of the savings! Think of how much better everything will be!

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There are reports that CIT will again stop giving loans to suppliers of Sears and if true, it could deliver a death blow to the retailer.

God, I hope so. They went from being America’s store to crap decades ago.