Read it.

A professional gatecrasher who snuck his way into last year’s Oscars has been hired by the event’s bosses to plug the gaps in their security for this weekend’s ceremony.

That shows more sense than I’ve seen Hollywood people use in my lifetime.

Read it.

Gotta admire his willingness to experiment, though.

Read it.

I am not making this up.

Read it.

Oh, I don’t want to beam down with the Captain

‘Cause the Captain beams up alone….

Read it.

So, in sum, Amazon doesn’t ship any Kindles during the Christmas season, but they do accept orders and build demand. They (i) turn just having the ability to buy their product into ‘good customer service,’ (ii) don’t have to worry about throwing a bone to the early adopters and (iii) don’t have to deal with any excess inventory on the original Kindle because by the time people know about the Kindle 2, no one who owns a Kindle 1 would fall into the return window time frame.

Read it.

A white person getting a tattoo is a major step in their life as it presupposes that their taste at this given moment is good enough to sustain them for the rest of their lives.  Needless to say, this is a near impossible task.  This is why you don’t see a lot of white people with R.E.M. or Strokes tattoos.

Read it.

I don’t know where Wally finds these things; it’s a gift.

Read it.

You know you want one.

Watch it.

A truly epic struggle between good and evil.

Read it.

If that’s a recession, I’d like to see what a boom is like. (Reminds me the story about the African who is reported to have said, “I want to come to America and see a country where the poor people are fat.”)

Read it.

Invented by an American, of course.

Read it.

You know you want one.

Read it.

And if you believe that one, they’ll tell you another one.

Read it.

Perhaps by coincidence, or perhaps not, Alcatraz is in the constituency of Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives and a vocal liberal opponent of Guantanamo.

I like it. It has texture, and scope.

Read it.

With great power comes great bureaucracy.

Read it.

Me want.

Read it.

One really loathes seeing tastelessness, self-indulgence, and lack of intelligence jump up onto the table and loudly defend itself.  If you need to dress like a young boy well into your 30s and 40s because you are psychologically crippled or otherwise unable to shrug off adolescent immaturity, that’s fine, but at least have the decency to acknowledge this as a weakness of character.

This guy is one of us.

Read it.

Stick a 50-cal turret on the sucker and I’m there.

Read it.

Sure, you need 20 years of education for that….

Read it.

Some people just refuse to quit.

Read it.

Saw an episode of “Buffy” about that once. Life imitates art.

But after she began missing classes last August, a truancy officer investigated Brown. Her real identity was revealed when she was found in jail being held on an unrelated fraud case.

Ah, they don’t make cheerleaders like they used to.

Read it.

Much the most interesting thing I’ve seen in the New York Times in years.

Read it.

But Sea Salt is like Trader Joes, Banksy, or The Shins-entry level to their respective field.  Therefore, it is important that you learn about other more expensive salts so that you can complain about not having them.  To a white person, this shows that you know and love expensive things but feel sad that you can’t yet afford them.

I have never known a White Person who was not a food snob. Preference for sea salt is an essential component thereof.

Read it.

What’s sauce for Harry Reid….

Read it.

We have the technology.

Yaacov Ben Moshe wishes you a Merry Christmas, dammit.

Steven Brust, who is one of the outstanding fantasy writers of his generation but politically is a reincarnation of Eugene Debs (I guess fantasy is his life) has an entertaining rant that will sort of stand as an archetype for what all of the “Change We Can Believe In” crowd are probably feeling right now.

I won’t say “I told you so”, but I will enjoy a quiet snicker.

Read it.

Might as well, it’s probably obsolete anyway.

Those guys who took an analog phone into the box with them are in for a rude surprise if they ever wake up, though…

Read it.

“The way we envision it is, there would be a bunch of these sent out in a swarm,” said Greg Parker, who helps lead the research project at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton. “If we know there’s a possibility of bad guys in a certain building, how do we find out? We think this would fill that void.”

Read it.

Relatives are “outraged” and plan to sue the city, said John Lemieux, their lawyer.

Of course.

Read it.

You never know when one of these babies can save your life.

Read it.

Well, they could always change the sort of music they put out…. This just makes plain what a lot of us have been saying for years.

Read it.

The Bible is silent on exactly which day God created public transportation, probably sometime between when He created the fish of the sea and the fowl of the air and when He created Kraft Cheese Singles.

Interesting writing in the Washington Post. Whoda thunkit.

Read it.

American, of course. I’m impressed.

Of course.

Navy has won 13 straight times against Air Force and Army since 2002, outscoring the programs 441-205 during the streak. The Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy remains docked with Navy.

Quality tells.

Read it.

Read it.

White people love political prisoners because they are individuals who have been locked up because their beliefs or their presence stands in defiance of an unjust system. In fact, most white people would love to be locked up for their beliefs provided that they could go to a jail with private toilets, plenty of books and no rape.

Read it.

Read it.

Now you can buy insurance against the risk of being uninsurable.

I am not making this up.

Read it.

Read it.

Would you buy an ad in a high school teacher’s test?

It is raining small furry animals outside, which means that all the nimrods who were camped out at Best Buy are miserable. I am inside a warm house, with food in the fridge, plenty of cold Pepsi, and no place I have to be for the next three days. I have the Internet and two huge stacks of books, one from the library and one from my wallet. My wife is asleep, which means that I don’t have to look at any cute pictures of cats.

It don’t get any better than this, as we say here in Texas.

Read it.

The grownups step in.

We wonder this morning if an Iowa foursome who tried to arrest Karl Rove back in July is wishing they’d had a tutorial on the topic. The four were cited for trespassing after attempting a citizen’s arrest of Rove at the Wakonda County Club in Des Moines, where he spoke at a Republican fundraiser. They were stopped at the country club’s entry gate. On Friday, a jury returned guilty verdict against all four.

Read it.

“Two mobile applications, NMobile and Trapster, are providing drivers with up-to-date maps of speed-enforcement zones with live police traps, speed cameras or red-light cameras. Each application pulls up a map pinpointing the locations of speed traps within driving distance and an audio alert will sound as vehicles approach an area tagged as harboring a speed trap.

Change We Can Believe In.

Read it.

In light of how far we’ve come from our Red State, non-White People roots, this ought to prove amusing, if not useful. Read it with a glass of pretentious Chardonnay and some overpriced Brie.

Read it.

Read it.

I am not making this up.

Read it.

Better pay that Social Security tax.

The Hog likes tools that serve more than one function.

One of the guns that caught my eye a year or two ago was the Thompson .45-caliber rifle. You can buy these with removable buttstocks, and you can add hundred-round drums. That’s not bad. It’s a short weapon with no recoil to speak of, and it will shoot a hundred marvelous .45 ACP rounds as quick as you can pull the trigger. Aiming becomes nearly optional. It’s heavy, and I’m not sure how reliable the drums are, and it will cost over a grand, but it seems like a surprisingly nice defensive weapon.