Archive for the 'You can’t make this stuff up.' Category
8th May 2019
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“They were illegal in NYC for a long time and never really became a thing after the ban was lifted ?,” the freshman Democratic lawmaker tweeted Tuesday night. “Other home things many NYers don’t have in their apartments: washer/dryer, dishwasher, central air.”
Yeah, she’s perfectly qualified to tell the rest of the country how to live.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on ‘There is a monster living in my sink’: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Freaks Out After Discovering the Garbage Disposal in Her DC Apartment
8th May 2019
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Somebody has discovered a way to bribe voters with their own money to vote for him.
Well played.
How will this giveaway create all these jobs? Unfortunately, details not available.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
6th May 2019
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It’s comforting to know that you’re not the only ass on campus.
Note that it’s mostly female students gathered around the donkeys. Hmmmm…..
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
4th May 2019
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Some people have entirely too much time on their hands.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on A (Mock) Court in Pittsburgh Just Put Luke Skywalker on Trial for Murder
2nd May 2019
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In 2015, Jenny Odell started an organization she called The Bureau of Suspended Objects. Odell was then an artist-in-residence at a waste operating station in San Francisco. As the sole employee of her bureau, she photographed things that had been thrown out and learned about their histories. (A bird-watcher, Odell is friendly with a pair of crows that sit outside her apartment window; given her talent for scavenging, you wonder whether they’ve shared tips.)
Ponder the notion of an ‘artist-in-residence at a waste operating station’.
Truly, San Francisco exists on a different planet.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on A Manifesto for Opting Out of an Internet-Dominated World
28th April 2019
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For those who aren’t familiar with the ‘farm-to-table’ movement, it can best be summed up as a pretentious ‘sustainable’ ‘health-conscious’ movement currently in vogue among wealthy urbanites. It involves serving meals using ingredients directly sourced from small sustainable farms. These meals are typically sold at outrageous prices.
As far as we know, most farm-to-table restaurants don’t accept payment in food stamps.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Blotto O’Rourke: ‘Farm-To-Table Restaurants in Every Community’ Would Solve ‘Food Desert’ Crisis
25th April 2019
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In a bid to enhance interaction and business with the Chinese in Kano State, the Emir of Kano, Emir Muhammadu Sanusi II has approved the appointment and instalment of a Chinese man, Mr Mike Zhang, as a chief and leader of the growing Chinese community in the northern Nigerian state.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Chinese Man to Be Made Chief in Northern Nigeria
23rd April 2019
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Let’s see how many lawsuits we can squeeze out of one hoax.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on LOL: Nigerian Brothers File Defamation Lawsuit Against Jussie Smollett’s Attorneys
19th April 2019
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Like every tragedy these days, the burning of Notre Dame is bringing out the best and the worst in people. It has generated an outpouring of interdenominational sympathy and generosity, but also envy, specious claims of victimhood, and contempt for both religion and the West.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Leftists Upset About Donations to Rebuild Notre Dame
12th April 2019
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Note that, having ‘voted’, they are all now required to pay the fee. No opting out. (That’s what democracy gets you.)
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Georgetown University Students Vote to Pay $27 Per-Semester Fee for Slavery Reparations
12th April 2019
Steve Sailer brings the comedy,.
Pelosi’s spokesperson went on to say that if undocumented migrants were released in the streets of San Francisco they might catch cholera from all the feces
Posted in You can't make this stuff up., Your tax dollars at work - and play. | Comments Off on Pelosi Condemns Releasing Illegal Aliens on Her Block
8th April 2019
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Suspension of reality only goes so far.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
2nd April 2019
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No, it doesn’t involve tequila.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Blotto Reveals What His First Order as President Would Be
29th March 2019
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The man in his 50s was taking photos when he stumbled and fell, Leibowitz said. Signs at Eagle Point warn tourists not to get too close to the edge.
Think of it as evolution in action.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Hong Kong Tourist Plunges 1,000 Feet to His Death at Grand Canyon
27th March 2019
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Actually, being a fat ugly black woman, she’s overqualified in terms of Victim Points to be the Democrat nominee.
President, not so much….
UPDATE: Eager CBS Hosts: Run Stacey Abrams, Run!
I second that emotion.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Stacey Abrams Says She’s ‘Just as Capable of Becoming the President’ as Any Other Candidate
6th March 2019
The Register doesn’t have a lot of time for fools.
For those who don’t know what hipsters look like, the hair is short-back-and-sides with the hair on top piled high and combed straight back, beard like George V. Look at any British football player (Beckhan will do) for an illustration. Or just Google ‘hipster’ and look at Images.
Joe Scarborough is transitioning into the look as he segues into the fashionable Left.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Hipster Whines at Tech Mag for Using His Pic to Imply Hipsters Look the Same, Discovers Pic Was of an Entirely Different Hipster
4th March 2019
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And that’s a good thing — we don’t want these people reproducing.
Think of it as evolution in action.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on ‘Birthstrikers’ Fear Global Warming So Much They Are Refusing to Have Kids
2nd March 2019
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‘Emotional support pitbull’?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Five-Year-Old Girl Mauled in Face by Emotional Support Pitbull at Airport, Mother Says
27th February 2019
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Wish I’d thought of that — it would have kept the crowd at my wedding down quite a bit.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
25th February 2019
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Chinese do many strange things for ‘good luck’. This is just one of them.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Chinese Airline to Sue Passenger Who Threw Coins Into Plane Engine for Good Luck, Grounding Flight
18th February 2019
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This, this is the world that we live in.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Kim, Khloe and Kylie Trademark Kids’ Names
16th February 2019
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In 2016, a popular meme featured a photo of admiring reporters on an airplane and the text, something like “Find someone who looks at you the way reporters look at Hillary Clinton.”
…
In 2016, Hillary was the candidate of the liberal press. Who will be the anointed candidate next year? Kamala Harris is a good bet. She features Hillary’s leftist politics along with a “minority” look, probably a requirement in the next Democratic nominee. She is also considerably better looking than Hillary.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on CNN: Clothes Shoppers For the Rich and Famous
13th February 2019
Business Insider, despite its name, is a Voice of the Crust about two notches above the Estrogen Post and a bit below CNN in credibility.
Agriculture is another gas-producing culprit. Despite the pastoral image of cows grazing on rolling green hills, Gates noted that cattle “give off methane when they belch and pass gas.”
“A personal surprise for me: I never thought I’d be writing seriously about bovine flatulence,” he added.
Writing? Maybe. Seriously? Doubt it.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »
10th February 2019
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I think this is why Canada has strict gun control laws.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Book Your Flight: Canada’s International Hair Freezing Competition Is Here
7th February 2019
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I am not making this up.
They ought to hire a hit man to whack him. Obviously he was defective.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Man Plans to Sue Parents for Giving Birth to Him Without His Consent
7th February 2019
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Hey — this is a serious issue….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on ‘Green New Deal’ Looks to Tackle the Scourge of ‘Farting Cows’
3rd February 2019
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But writing in the New York Times under the headline ‘Mary Poppins, and a Nanny’s Shameful Flirting With Blackface,’ Professor Daniel Pollack-Pelzner attacks the scene. Not surprisingly, the film’s legions of devoted fans have reacted with disbelief.
Insane. Just … insane. Insane that he would write it, and insane that the Times would publish it.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Mary Poppins Is Branded Racist by US Academic Over Famous Rooftop Scene Because When She Gets Covered in Soot She ‘Gamely Powders Her Nose and Cheeks and Gets Even Blacker’
30th January 2019
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I would encourage all Google employees not to engage in family formation. And for God’s sake avoid having children.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Google Employees Call Term ‘Family’ ‘Deeply Homophobic’
29th January 2019
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I know how eagerly we all were waiting.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
18th January 2019
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To a proglodyte, everything looks like a Nazi.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Slack’s New Logo Is a Penis Swastika
17th January 2019
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A Google executive sparked a fierce backlash from employees by using the word “family” in a weekly, company-wide presentation, according to internal documents obtained by The Daily Caller News Foundation.
Many Google employees became angry that the term was used while discussing a product aimed at children, because it implied that families have children, the documents show. The backlash grew large enough that a Google vice president addressed the controversy and solicited feedback on how the company could become more inclusive.
Sometimes I wonder how anybody at Google ever gets any work done.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Exclusive: How the Word ‘Family’ Triggered a Meltdown at Google
17th January 2019
The Other McCain follows this stuff so you don’t have to.
Much of the current conflict within feminism over the issue of transgenderism can be traced directly to Professor Butler’s book and its pervasive influence in the so-called Third Wave of feminism. Feminist critics of transgender ideology generally align themselves with the “Second Wave” (i.e., the radical Women’s Liberation Movement of the late 1960s and ’70s), rejecting the claims of those who, following Professor Butler’s argument, assert that the category of “women” does not provide a definite subject for feminist theory because the meaning of “woman” is socially constructed. Professor Butler’s theory reflects the influence of French postmodernist philosophy, particularly Michel Foucault. Critics of Professor Butler are expected not to call attention to the fact that Foucault was a gay pedophile (or, at least, a defender of pedophilia) who died of AIDS in 1984, in the same way that we are expected to ignore that Gayle Rubin, another of Professor Butler’s key sources, praised NAMBLA and is an advocate of homosexual BDSM.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on A World Without Norms: The Influence of Judith Butler’s ‘Gender Trouble’
16th January 2019
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See? Britain has morons, too.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on UK: Driver Caught Speeding Blames Theresa May’s Crushing Brexit Defeat
31st December 2018
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‘Services to fashion’? This rates an official government honor?
No wonder Britain is having problems.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »
29th December 2018
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It will scratch your eyes out.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Transgender Woman Threatens to ‘Take It Outside’ When GameStop Employee Uses the Word ‘Sir’
28th December 2018
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Stephens College in Columbia, Missouri, updated its admissions policy to open it to students not born as girls, “but identify or live as women” as long as there is legal proof that the man is transitioning over to become a woman or is legally a woman. Those identifying as neither male nor female, known as binary students, will also be eligible to apply, according to the college’s revised admissions policy.
They probably have all the lesbians they need.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Men Who Identify as Women Will Be Able to Attend This All-Female College, But It Doesn’t Go the Other Way Around
24th December 2018
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Are they serious? I doubt it. But it makes a great excuse and an excellent ‘teachable moment’.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Student Forced to Remove ‘F*** Nazis’ Sign Because College Claims It Was ‘Not Inclusive’
24th December 2018
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On December 13, the Village of Hempstead, N.Y. hosted the Long Island Toy Gun Exchange Program, modelled after so-called gun “buybacks” that target real firearms. According to a report from local newspaper Newsday, each child received one politically correct toy in exchange “for whatever water pistols, Nerf guns and other toy guns they turn[ed] in.”
The toys for the turn-in were supplied by local businessman Sean Acosta, who made clear that the program is intended to influence impressionable children against firearm ownership at a young age, with the goal of shifting American public opinion against guns. As reported in the Newsday article,
“It has to start at a young age,” Acosta says of changing gun culture. “If we can get them to say, ‘It’s not cool to carry these toy guns,’ then maybe when they get older, they won’t ever carry a real gun.”
It would be amusing if someone were to shoot him. With a toy gun, of course.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Gun Controllers Indoctrinate Kids With Toy Gun Turn-In
15th December 2018
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The Guardian, Britains Voice of the LeftCrust, is a publication that appears specifically devoted to providing an outlet for people who in a rightly-ordered society would be subject to compulsory psychiatric treatment.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on The Wizard of Oz Is a Grotesque Predictor of Trump’s America
15th December 2018
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The obvious question is: Exactly how does this help migrants? How does it advance whatever agenda these people are pushing? What is it about dance, specifically, that relates to immigration?
The obvious answer is that it’s totally irrelevant — but that’s not the point. The point is that these people have very little scope for virtue-signaling, but their need for virtue-signaling is so compulsive that whatever they actually can do (in this case dance) they do in the hope that it will be credited to them for righteousness. It’s not about helping migrants, it’s about doing something that will allow them to feel good about themselves.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »
13th December 2018
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“When I was on there it was hilarious because they initially had me come on because they wanted me to be the pop culture girl,” the 46-year-old actress explained during her recent appearance on “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen” aftershow.
Her boobs are very Republican — they are self-supporting.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Jenny McCarthy Says Barbara Walters Asked Her to ‘Act Republican’ on ‘The View’
3rd December 2018
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A man taking the League Against Cruel Sports to an employment tribunal claiming ethical veganism is akin to a religion? It probably had Britain’s sizeable corps of Mr Angrys spluttering into their cornflakes.
Jordi Casamitjana, the vegan in question, says he was dismissed after disclosing the League invested its pension funds in firms involved in animal testing. He claims his treatment amounts to discrimination because of his passionate vegan beliefs.
Vegans certainly act as if it were a religion.
UPDATE: The fired League Against Cruel Sports employee is right – veganism should be protected in the same way as religion
UPDATE: UK Man Claims Veganism Is A Religion, Sues Former Employer
A U.K. man claimed that “ethical veganism” is a religion in a lawsuit against his former employer over his termination for objecting to animal testing.
It may be a philosophy but it isn’t a religion, although they surely act as if it were.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on UK: Is Veganism a Religion? An Employment Tribunal Is Having to Decide
30th November 2018
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Be the first on your block to own one of this year’s fashionable rodent.
I am not making this up.
The Atlantic is not what it was.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Companionable Capybaras
29th November 2018
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Conservative journalist Laura Loomer chained herself to the front door of Twitter’s New York City offices Thursday morning.
It’s getting crazy out there.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Laura Loomer Chains Herself to Twitter’s NYC Offices in Protest of ‘Egregious Double Standard’
25th November 2018
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I’ll bet you didn’t know there was such a thing as Competitive Ploughing, did you?
The top flight of international ploughing is a limited pool….
I’ll bet it is.
Of course, they use machines — I’d like to give them two oxen and a moldboard and see what they can do.
I wonder if there’s such a thing as Competitive Floor Waxing….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Field of Dreams: Heartbreak and Heroics at the World Ploughing Championships
20th November 2018
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Blue states like Michigan are more and more a reality-free environment.
My Brother The Socialist lives in Ypsilanti. I can see why.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Michigan College Cancels ‘The Vagina Monologues’ Because ‘Not All Women Have Vaginas’
13th November 2018
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I find that highly entertaining.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on The Revolution Devours Its Own: Ocasio-Cortez Joins Protest at Nancy Pelosi’s Office to Demand a ‘Green New Deal’
13th November 2018
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How desperate must you be to look for parenting advice from a Navy SEAL?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Former Navy SEAL Offers Parenting Tips, New Book to Help Kids Overcome Fear
12th November 2018
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Creepy Porn Lawyer Michael Avenatti is representing a person trying to sue Fox News Anchor Tucker Carlson over a restaurant incident a month ago when Carlson’s daughter was allegedly harassed by Aventatti’s client Juan Granados.
Carlson claims his daughter was called a “whore” and a “cunt” by Avenatti’s client, who is a gay Latino and a LGBTQ activist. Avenatti is claiming Carlson attacked the man and told him to “go back where he came from.” The country club has revoked Granados’s membership.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Avenatti May Sue Tucker Carlson for Defending His Own Daughter
11th November 2018
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Arrested adolescence is international.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Trump Baby Balloon Flies in Paris for US President’s Remembrance Day Visit