DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

UK: Snails Poached for Sale to French Restaurants

27th June 2012

Read it.

Now conservationists have urged police to crack down on an explosion in illegal poaching of Roman snails after discovering they were being gathered up en masse to meet a grisly, buttery end in local French restaurants.

Frankly, if I knew that people were hoovering up local snails to sell to French restaurants, I’d be loathe to stand in their way. But that’s me.

The gastropods are listed as a protected species making it illegal to capture or sell them, but they are also regularly found on continental menus because across the channel they are considered a gastronomic delight.

Which reinforces the notion that the only creatures that fall outside of ‘protected species’ are white males. Seriously: Who give a shit about snails?

Conservationists claim that French restaurants in Britain are paying up to £1 each for the unfortunate creatures, which are then fried in garlic butter or served in soup.

Well, there it is — a net income stream from France to Englend. Sounds like a win-win to me.

The Roman snail has lived in chalk and limestone habitats of Surrey, the North Downs and the Chilterns since being introduced by invading Romans 2,000 years ago.

So they’re actually an ‘invasive species’. Let’s be rid of them, then! Let’s return Britain to its pristine pre-Roman condition!

Fred Naggs, a snail expert at the Natural History Museum, said: “Roman snails are the classic ‘escargots’ which the French delight in eating. It is the same species that occurs in France and much of south eastern Europe.

So how ‘endangered’ could they be? Environmentalists are such tight-assed hand-wringers.

Andy Keay, a member of the group, said: “A lot of people say they are only snails. But they must be three to five years old to breed, so if you take them all out, you’re going to devastate the numbers very quickly. It makes me very angry.”

Andy, it’s people like you what cause unrest. Get a life.

One Response to “UK: Snails Poached for Sale to French Restaurants”

  1. Dennis Nagle Says:

    You remind me of that video about the tanker whose ‘front end fell off’. The government spokesman assures the interviewer that there’s no danger to the environment because the hulk was towed “out to sea, completely outside the environment. There’s nothing out there but birds, and fish, and water.”