DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Hardline Cleric Who Vowed to Buy Man United Wants to Keep Iran at War

9th August 2026

The Telegraph (UK).

My, what a surprise. Aren’t you surprised? I’m sure surprised.

An Iranian cleric who once vowed to buy Manchester United is now trying to blow up Iran’s peace talks.

Almost two decades ago, Mohammad Bagher Kharrazi announced that his organisation was purchasing the club and would rename it “Kheybar” after a seventh-century battle in which Muslims overran a Jewish settlement.

The claim never advanced beyond the headlines, but it captured the man perfectly: grandiose, provocative and impossible to ignore.

Now, Mr Kharrazi is back with another goal.

As Tehran edges towards an understanding with Washington over reopening the Strait of Hormuz, Mr Kharrazi, the self-styled secretary-general of a fringe group called “Hezbollah of Iran”, has launched a barrage of claims aimed at the officials negotiating an end to the war.

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