DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

You’re Not Interviewing for the Job. You’re Auditioning for the Job Title

31st May 2026

Read it.

I once had a job interview for a backend position. Their stack was Node.js, MySQL, nothing exotic. The interviewer asked: “If you have an array containing a million entries, how would you sort the data by name?”

My immediate thought was: If you have a JavaScript array with a million entries, you’re certainly doing something wrong.

The interviewer continued: “There are multiple fields that you should be able to sort by.”

This felt like a trick question. Surely the right answer was to explain why you shouldn’t be sorting millions of records in JavaScript. Pagination, database indexing, server-side filtering. So I said exactly that.

My crime? Prioritizing real-world efficiency over theatrical scale. The interviewer didn’t see a practical engineer, he saw a candidate who “lacked vision.”

I wish I had known this when I was interviewing for jobs. It would have saved me a lot of grief.

 

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