‘Shocked’
9th February 2026
There was outrage in Westminster, when a leading politician admitted he was “shocked” that he had been lied to by another, but less leading, politician who had once been a quite leading politician before having been forced to quit over questions of honesty a few times.
That politicians lie is a well-known constant, treated almost like a law of physics—comparable to the fixed speed of light in a vacuum.
“My father was a toolmaker”, said the leading politician (the one who had not been forced to quit over questions of honesty a couple of times). “And he told me of the satisfaction he enjoyed when working with a set of tools he worked hard to complete, and in his memory, I like to believe that I also work with complete tools who give me satisfaction.”
“Having a good tool in your hands can be a satisfying experience, and I like handling well-made tools as a pastime. But enough about me. I am shocked, shocked to my core that I was lied to by a man who had been previously a leading politician, and to whom I called on to be so again but in a specific capacity, rather like a well-turned tool. But he turned out to be a bad tool, a very bad tool indeed.”
Apparently British politicians aren’t the tools they’re made out to be. I must confess I didn’t know that.