Ultra-Processed Foods Should Be Treated More Like Cigarettes Than Food – Study
4th February 2026
The Guardian, a Voice of the Crust.
Ultra-processed foods (UPFs) have more in common with cigarettes than with fruit or vegetables, and require far tighter regulation, according to a new report.
‘More in common with’ means ‘just as noxious to us’ in Karen-speak. Nobody eats tobacco (except inadvertently), of course, just as no one smokes fruits or vegetables, but the nanny-state totalitarians must have some way to Indicate Their Displeasure with people who follow their own judgment and make their own choices rather than being guided and controlled by the preferences of the Enlightened.
UPFs and cigarettes are engineered to encourage addiction and consumption, researchers from three US universities said, pointing to the parallels in widespread health harms that link both.
The cited author is, of course, female, so the role of Karen in this fable is a good fit. The Narrative Media is never more at home than when telling other people what they ought to do, preferably by government mandate.