DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

EXCLUSIVE: Inside the Democratic Party’s Strategic Efforts To Enhance Receptivity in Masculine-Coded Heteronormative Cohorts Through Data-Driven Holistic Outreach

28th May 2025

Not the Babylon Bee.

Democratic donors and consultants have been meeting in luxury hotels to analyze the party’s inability to connect with male voters and propose alternative communications strategies. The results, according to the New York Times, have often resembled “anthropological studies of people from faraway places.” One liberal group is planning a $20-million campaign called “Speaking with American Men: A Strategic Plan,” or SAM for short, that will “study the syntax, language and content that gains attention and virality” in masculine-coded heteronormative communities.

The Washington Free Beacon has exclusively and semi-legally obtained an early draft of the data-driven blueprint for communicative outreach. Enjoy!

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