From COBOL to Chaos: Elon Musk, DOGE, and the Evil Housekeeper Problem
8th February 2025
In trying to make sense of the wrecking ball that is Elon Musk and President Trump’s DOGE, it may be helpful to think about the Evil Housekeeper Problem. It’s a principle of computer security roughly stating that once someone is in your hotel room with your laptop, all bets are off. Because the intruder has physical access, you are in much more trouble. And the person demanding to get into your computer may be standing right beside you.
So who is going to stop the evil housekeeper from plugging a computer in and telling IT staff to connect it to the network?
What happens if someone comes in and tells you that you’ll be fired unless you reveal the authenticator code from your phone, or sign off on a code change, or turn over your PIV card, the Homeland Security–approved smart card used to access facilities and systems and securely sign documents and emails? What happens if someone says your name will otherwise be published in an online list of traitors? Already the new administration is firing, putting on leave, or outright escorting from the building people who refuse to do what they’re told.
No mention, of course, of the Evil Housekeepers with which the Deep State has populated the governmental bureaucracy since FDR.