Singles Are Turning to ‘Burned Haystack’ Method to Help Find Love
25th September 2024
Modern dating is a minefield—but instead of just opting out, a cohort of single women are trying to roll with the punches and adopting the “Burned Haystack” method.
Aimed at cutting through dating app noise and fatigue, the Burned Haystack Dating Method (BHDM), developed by Jennie Young, is especially resonating with women over 40.
Riffing off the popular “needle in a haystack” saying, BHDM encourages women to filter out potential matches through a rigorous vetting process. In other words, in order to find the needle, you have to burn down the haystack.
Exactly wrong. These poor women are going to find that there are no needles in their haystack. And it’s entirely their own fault.
The right-hand caption is wrong: It ought to read “Invisible Men”. The problem is not ‘standards not strict enough’; the problem is ‘standards are too strict’. Social media has globalized the dating market and women are competing for the same upper cohort of men and ignoring all the rest.
Michael Sartain likes to say that there are actually three sexes: The top 20% of men that all women want; all women; and the bottom 80% of men who are effectively invisible. He also likes to cite a study in which a large number of men and women are asked whether they would marry somebody who was 80% of what they were looking for–the men invariably responded, “80%? Hell, yes; that’s a win!” and the women invariably responded, “No, that would be ‘settling’.”