Season’s Greetings
24th December 2009
To All My Liberal Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or explicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
To All My Conservative Friends:
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
December 25th, 2009 at 10:11
Brilliant!
December 26th, 2009 at 11:15
This offer void where prohibited by law. No Santa will call. Christmas merriment is for comparison purposes only; actual merriment may vary, highway merriment probably lower. Greeter does not consider this offer of merriment to constitute professional advice for which professional license is required. Greeter is not responsible for any and all decisions greetee makes based upon use of this merriment. Use of this merriment constitutes full and complete acceptance of these terms and this disclaimer. Merriment is intended for entertainment purposes only, and does not constitute financial, legal, medical or romantic advice. Greetee will not re-lease this merriment or sublet any portion of this merriment without express written consent from greeter. No alterations, additions or improvements shall be made by Greetee except with the written consent of Greeter. Greeter is not responsible for any loss or injury that may arise during use of this merriment. People indulging in Christmas merriment may experience full stomachs, hangovers, loss of sleep and burns from Christmas tree lights. Please consult with your doctor before indulging in excess merriment.
And why is everybody so testy these days?