Pimping for Allah
4th February 2023
Islamic law is very strict concerning sexual intercourse: it must not under any circumstances occur outside of marriage. Shi’ite Muslims, however, have devised an ingenious workaround: the “temporary marriage”. A man who is feeling sexually deprived simply pays an imam to perform a marriage between himself and a woman who agrees to the arrangement in return for a (small) cut of the fee. Afterwards, as soon as his caftan is covering his ankles again, he intones Talaq! Talaq! Talaq!, and the divorce is finalized.
Shi’ites in Sweden were recently discovered to be engaging extensively in such temporary marriages, and the Swedish authorities were shocked — shocked! — to learn that such an egregious exploitative practice was occurring in their beloved Folkhemmet.
The following report from the Swedish state broadcaster SVT discusses all this pimping for Allah. The general thrust, as it were, is: Don’t worry — the imams now have an action plan, and everything is under control.