DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Return of the Flying Car, Just When We All Need to Escape

30th October 2020

Read it.

Did you enjoy World Pasta Day? It was last Sunday. Me, I made a big bowl of it and tucked in along with my mates Mark Arony and Al Dente.

“World Pasta Day” indeed. I have so many questions. Who invents this nonsense? How does one go about registering such a pivotal moment in human endeavour? Who approves it? Some bewigged official in Geneva? What does the stamp of approval look like?

Or can anyone claim a day for themselves? I dunno… World Leaf Blower Day, perhaps, or the International Day of the Shoelace.

I might also point out that I was born on Schicksalstag, the so-called Germanic “Day of Fate”. I was thinking that I might register it as a trademark and earn micropayments every time a TV channel runs footage of the Berlin Wall coming down. (That’s done it: all you need now is my mother’s maiden name and the name of my first pet, and you’re rolling.)

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