From a Correspondent
20th June 2020
CHAZ, alternately known as Soymalia, Wokidishu, and Antifastan, does not seem to be thriving. It’s now into the phase of drug overdose, theft, scarcity, factional warfare, and warlordism. And it has finally realized that its name is incredibly stupid, though its new name, CHOP, does not seem to be taking. The things run exclusively by the left–CHAZ, universities, schools, northern cities–do not exactly inspire confidence.
This week CHAZ ran into a food problem when its homeless population cleaned out the pantry. Like many a real-life communist nation, it took to begging for U.S. foreign aid:
“the homeles [sic] people we invited took away all the food at the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone. we need more food to keep the area operational. please if possible bring vegan meat substitutes, fruits, oats, soy products, etc.—anything to help us eat.”
The next step was to plant a vegetable garden, which elicited hilarity from people who know how to plant a vegetable garden.
Photos began to emerge of a vegetable garden in the middle of the zone. These photos revealed that this “garden” consisted of throwing a few inches of soil atop cardboard(?!) in the middle of a park, and then plopping a few seedlings on top of the soil. They don’t appear to have bothered to plant those seedlings, because why would you need to do that?
It then seems to have segregated its garden by race.
Here is a CHAZ TOURISM VIDEO from the Trump campaign.