A Fatal Story from the Outdoors Left
25th May 2019
The Outdoors Right fishes and hunts. The Extreme Outdoors Right shoots big game and/or hunts par force du chien. The Outdoors Right wears safari jackets, canvas hunting coats, camo for duck and turkey hunting, and Scarlet Hunt Uniforms for fox hunting.
The Outdoors Left hikes, bicycles, kayaks, rafts, rock climbs, and skis. The Outdoors Left wears the latest artificial fabric in Life -Saver-flavor colors.
The Outdoors Right remembers shopping at the old (the real) Abercrombie & Fitch and Wm. Mills, and buying from the Herter’s catalogue. We still shop at L.L. Bean, Filson, Woolrich, and Cabela’s. We used to buy from Orvis, but now they do.
The Outdoors Left buys from Patagonia, Northern Mountain, and REI.
We lust after custom shotguns. They yearn for custom bicycles and hiking boots.
The Outdoor Left thinks that every area of the world is Just Like Portland. This often leads them into foolish behavior that gets them eaten, dismembered, raped, or beheaded.
Think of it as evolution in action.