Does American cheese deserve to die?
14th October 2018
It’s a cliché now: Thrill-kill millennials have ruined another beloved part of American culture. They’re relentless! They have no pity. You almost wish they would take requests.
“Hey, young tech-savvy cohort, could you do something about those salad bags that can’t be opened without tearing them across the middle, resulting in all the lettuce falling on the floor?”
“We’re on it, Pops.”
Two months later, there would be a headline: “Bagged salad sales fall as millennials decide to hand-shred their own arugula.” Wait, no, I didn’t want you to kill the bags, just make them easier to open.
“Sorry, Pops, you weren’t that specific. Besides, we don’t have time to go back and change things. We have to eliminate bank tellers by noon tomorrow.”