Prom Night Trumpster Babies
30th June 2016
David Cole is having a great time.
Sadly, the one type of American voter who grates on me like a nursery full of shrieking, colicky newborns is the infernal species I’m doomed to live among here in L.A.—the leftist hipster. Leftist hipsters have neither the Trumpkins’ aw-shucks humility nor the anti-Semites’ worshipful admission of the Jews’ place as overlords in the human pecking order. Leftist hipsters are defined by their smugness, their pseudo-certainty, and their unyielding belief that their views are based on science and rationalism, whereas everyone else’s are based on ignorance, superstition, and fear.
There is nothing that is not foul about leftist hipsters. They traffic in the very fear, ignorance, and superstition that they accuse others of employing. Leftist hipsters will be the first ones to accuse conservatives of being “racist,” yet almost every political move the leftist hipster makes is in some way rooted in a pathological hatred of white people, a hatred that leftist hipsters—most of whom are themselves white—view as the ultimate self-critical virtue-signaling: “Look how evolved, enlightened, and noble I am—I’m willing to hate my own skin color.”
…
But sadly, as deluded as leftist hipsters are, they can still read the writing on the PBR can. Sanders is on his way out, and with Trump on track for the GOP nod, it’s going to be Hillary versus “like, literally Hitler.” So of course the hipster crowd needs to find a way to support a warmongering drone-loving Wall Street-backed unremittingly corrupt rapist-defending Democrat.
My younger brother would be a hipster if he could afford it — unfortunately, he picked the wrong parents — but he still talks the talk.