DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Nanny State Nonsense

18th March 2016

Read it.

To channel the late and much-maligned Senator Joe McCarthy, “I hold in my hand, a special mailing from Xcel Energy, the spelling-challenged Minnesota utility company formerly known as Northern States Power, informing me of what an electricity-guzzling wastrel I am.”

For it would seem that I have used 8% more energy than my neighbors! There is a colorful bar graph with Green (but, of course) representing the Good Efficient Neighbors, Grey for All Neighbors, and a long Blue Line of Shame representing ME, the Bad Grrrll, up an unconscionable 8%.

Why they should not be delighted that I am using so much of their product remains a mystery, virtually unique among purveyors of products. I await a similar letter from Ben and Jerry informing me that I have bought 8% more Cherry Garcia and Chubby Hubby Ice Cream than my most lactose-intolerant neighbors and asking me to please try to use less.

Finally, in a nod to the “Everyone Gets a Trophy” philosophy that defines Minnesota, the letter tells me that “In 2015 you used 13% less energy than in 2014.” Woo-hoo! Then back off, nosy eco-freaks.

 

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