Patriotism in America
3rd July 2008
I believe politicians are the number-one cause of gastro-intestinal disorder. I think this is true because I get gas whenever a politician outlines his or her vision for America, or when they speak to us about morality, or lectures us about patriotism. I think this is because if anyone should refrain addressing such weighty issues, it is a politician – mostly because beyond the fact they’ve convinced some number of back-home voters that they deserve to be an elected official, politicians aren’t qualified to lecture me about any of these things — especially about Patriotism.