DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Archive for the 'Is this a great country, or what?' Category

Domino’s to Make Pizza with Fried Chicken Crust

15th April 2014

Read it.

Yeah, but it’s still Domino’s pizza….

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Domino’s to Make Pizza with Fried Chicken Crust

KFC Chicken Corsage Being Sold Just in Time for Prom Season

15th April 2014

Read it.

Be the first on your block….

Hm. I’m really hankering for some extra-crispy — time to go visit the Colonel.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on KFC Chicken Corsage Being Sold Just in Time for Prom Season

New Age Bullshit Generator

15th April 2014

Read it.

Namaste. Do you want to sell a New Age product and/or service? Tired of coming up with meaningless copy for your starry-eyed customers? Want to join the ranks of bestselling self-help authors? We can help.

Don’t say we never have useful stuff here.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on New Age Bullshit Generator

MIT Creates Shapeshifting Furniture That Can Transform With a Gesture

13th April 2014

Read it.

If, of course, that’s what you want to do.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on MIT Creates Shapeshifting Furniture That Can Transform With a Gesture

John Galt Writes a Car Commercial

6th April 2014

Read it. And by all means watch the video.

While I continue frankly have no particular taste for commercial advertisements, particularly for foolish products like electric cars (they run on electricity generated at powerplants by burning diesel fuel, hence serve no purpose), I admit it is refreshing to see one which pretends, if only for a moment of make-believe, that ours is the America we once had in the 1950s and which has since been abandoned.

I personally enjoy the delicious irony of using such a no-doubt-funded-by-the-Koch-brothers ad for an electric car.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on John Galt Writes a Car Commercial

Smarter Than a CIA Agent

5th April 2014

Read it.

For the past three years, Rich and 3,000 other average people have been quietly making probability estimates about everything from Venezuelan gas subsidies to North Korean politics as part of an experiment put together by three well-known psychologists and some people inside the intelligence community.

According to one report, the predictions made by the Good Judgment Project are often better even than intelligence analysts with access to classified information, and many of the people involved in the project have been astonished by its success at making accurate predictions.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Smarter Than a CIA Agent

Thoughts From the Ammo Line

30th March 2014

Read it.

A few years ago, I moved from a blue to a red planet. No, wait, I moved from Minnesota to Arizona, but my point still stands. A metric ton of tedious lip service is paid to the concept of “diversity” in Minnesota (motto: “It’s Not Just the Landscape that Is Lily White!”)

My dusty little village in Arizona is the most diverse place I have ever lived. There’s obviously so much intermarriage that people no longer fit neatly into Census Bureau boxes. But, you’ve got your Native-Americans; you’ve got your African-Americans; you’ve got your Latinos, many of them legal; and you’ve got your Geezer-Americans, retirees of every hue and creed, dumping their Social Security checks into the slot machines and supporting the Native-Americans in a beautiful Circle of Life.

Everybody gets along. Everybody eats at the same three local diners. Everybody is polite. Everybody is smiley and friendly, even teenagers! Why?

Because everybody is armed to the teeth – cowboys, geezers, Iraqi vets, tattooed Latinos, nuns.

You see ranchers ambling through Walmart with .45 caliber 1911s on their hips in glorious Open Carry and nobody even bats an eyelash. In Minnesota, someone would dive under the Size 4XL Clearance Rack and call SWAT. In Arizona, you say “Good morning,” and the cowboy tips his Stetson and says, “Ma’am.”

That’s because they all share a common culture, i.e. Normal American. Try that in Neuww Yahk and some gangbanger from Bed-Stey would blow you away for ‘dissin’ him.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Thoughts From the Ammo Line

Massive Corn Dog Spill Shuts Down Interstate In Louisiana

27th March 2014

Read it.

“There were some reports that passerby were coming in and loading up on some of those corn dogs for dinner,” Shreveport Police Corporal Marcus Hines said. “Everything you need to make a good corn dog was in the middle of the road.”

America, Land of Opportunity.

It doesn’t say whether they were my wife’s favorite, State Fair Corn Dogs.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Massive Corn Dog Spill Shuts Down Interstate In Louisiana

How the South Will Rise to Power Again

22nd March 2014

Joel Kotkin looks beyond the Crustian sneers.

Perhaps the most persuasive evidence lies with  the strong and persistent inflow of Americans to the South. The South still attracts the most domestic migrants of any U.S. region. Last year, it boasted six of the top eight states in terms of net domestic migration — Texas, Florida, North Carolina, Tennessee, South Carolina and Georgia. Texas and Florida alone gained 250,000 net migrants. The top four losers were deep blue New York, Illinois, New Jersey and California.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on How the South Will Rise to Power Again

Gears of War: When Mechanical Analog Computers Ruled the Waves

21st March 2014

Read it.

The USS Zumwalt, the latest destroyer now undergoing acceptance trials, comes with a new type of naval artillery: the Advanced Gun System (AGS). The automated AGS can fire 10 rocket-assisted, precision-guided projectiles per minute at targets over 100 miles away.

Those projectiles use GPS and inertial guidance to improve the gun’s accuracy to a 50 meter (164 feet) circle of probable error—meaning that half of its GPS-guided shells will fall within that distance from the target. But take away the fancy GPS shells, and the AGS and its digital fire control system are no more accurate than mechanical analog technology that is nearly a century old.

Sometimes the old ways are best.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | 2 Comments »

YC-Backed CodeCombat Wants You to Learn to Code by Playing Games

21st March 2014

Read it.

The web-based game teaches rudimentary JavaScript fundamentals, including everything you’d learn in an introductory computer science course, by forcing you to code your way through the game. In order to get from one level to the next, you must understand the lesson being taught and prove it through writing your own code.

It’s an RPG-style game that has a beginner, single-player campaign as well as a multiplayer option for more advanced coders. The game is targeted at high schoolers who are looking to learn the basics in a fun way, and according to cofounder George Saines, it’s “growing like crazy.”

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on YC-Backed CodeCombat Wants You to Learn to Code by Playing Games

Blue River and Its Farm Robots Harvest Another $10M

19th March 2014

Read it.

The company’s lettuce bot rolls slowly (1 mile per hour) down a row of lettuce plants, with a camera pointed at the ground. One set of algorithms determines whether or not the robot is seeing a plant, another set of algorithms determines if the plant is a weed or not (to about 98 or 99 percent accuracy) and a third set of algorithms determines when the correct moment is to inject the deadly dose of fertilizer on the weed.

We have the technology — or soon will.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Blue River and Its Farm Robots Harvest Another $10M

Graphene, Is There Anything It Can’t Do?

13th March 2014

Read it.

One of the barriers to the continuing shrinking of electronics is that as you pack more features into a smaller space, you also pack more heat into that space. That makes heat a hurdle standing in the way of our ability to keep Moore’s Law going for as long as possible.

Researchers at the University of California, Riverside, have found that a single-atom-thick graphene coating on either side of a copper track – a graphene-copper-graphene sandwich – gave a 24 per cent better heat conduction than copper alone.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Graphene, Is There Anything It Can’t Do?

Modeled by Women With PhDs

12th March 2014

Read it.

Well, it had to happen.

‘Sasha’ is pretty cute — too bad she has a boy’s name … apparently brains skipped a generation in her family.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Modeled by Women With PhDs

Watch Arnold Schwarzenegger Crush Things With a Tank… for Charity

12th March 2014

Read it.

I am not making this up.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Watch Arnold Schwarzenegger Crush Things With a Tank… for Charity

Last Six Months Coldest Since 1912

12th March 2014

Read it.

How ’bout that Global Warming, huh?

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Last Six Months Coldest Since 1912

Texas Rocks Job Creation (Maybe That’s Why Californians Are Moving There)

7th March 2014

Read it.

Doubters have been poo-pooing Texas’ economic growth ever since it shook off the economic recession even as the rest of the country continues to try to scrape the thing off its shoes. Yeah, Texas may be creating jobs, they say, but only for burger-flippers. But data from the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas shows that those must be some well-paid burger-flippers. Texas, according to a new paper, outstrips the rest of the country when it comes to creating not just jobs, but jobs that pay well.

Damn straight.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Texas Rocks Job Creation (Maybe That’s Why Californians Are Moving There)

Navy Will Deploy First Ship With Laser Weapon This Summer

7th March 2014

Read it.

After successful testing last year, the Navy is preparing to deploy its first directed energy weapon to the fleet. When it puts to sea this summer, the afloat forward staging base ship USS Ponce will be equipped with the Navy’s Laser Weapon System (LaWS).

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Navy Will Deploy First Ship With Laser Weapon This Summer

App Lets Bacon-Lovers Wake to Their Favorite Smell

6th March 2014

Read it.

The folks at Oscar Mayer have found a way around that, though – an iPhone app and dongle that will make sizzling sounds and release a bacon scent when your alarm goes off.

The aroma comes from a diffuser made by Scentee, which uses high-frequency waves to release the aroma of a bacon scent capsule.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on App Lets Bacon-Lovers Wake to Their Favorite Smell

IBM’s Supercomputer Watson Is Now a Chef With His Own Food Truck

6th March 2014

Read it.

The supercomputer made its debut as a chef at a Las Vegas tech conference last week, and so far has produced gourmet, fusion fare like a Swiss-Thai asparagus quiche, an Austrian chocolate burrito, and a pork belly moussaka.

I am not making this up.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on IBM’s Supercomputer Watson Is Now a Chef With His Own Food Truck

Today’s Topic

5th March 2014

Zits Cartoon for Mar/05/2014

Don’t laugh–– she’s got tenure.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Today’s Topic

This Is What 3D Printed Wood Looks Like

4th March 2014

Read it.

4 AXYZ’s printing method involves adapting an existing German woodworking machine to operate in 3D. It works by combining small, uniformly cut pieces of wood. Shah actually prefers to put the manufacturing technique under the broader term of “additive manufacturing,” as there is at no point any liquid “ink” involved, as is generally the case in 3D printing.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on This Is What 3D Printed Wood Looks Like

See Minas Tirith Made From 420,000 Matchsticks

2nd March 2014

Read it.

I am not making this up.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on See Minas Tirith Made From 420,000 Matchsticks

Why Californians Are Moving to Texas

27th February 2014

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | 2 Comments »

World War II Vet Retires After 65 Years With Marines

27th February 2014

Read it.

Sgt. Maj. Walter Valentine, 89, served in World War II, Korea and Vietnam over three decades with the Marines and then spent another three decades helping comrades make a smooth transition into civilian life when they retire.

Whatever the correct term is the antonym of ‘slacker’, he’s it.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on World War II Vet Retires After 65 Years With Marines

Smartest Girl Scout Ever Selling Cookies Outside a Medical Marijuana Dispensary

21st February 2014

Read it.

The business of America is business.

Note the picture: This chick is of the Asian persuasion.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Smartest Girl Scout Ever Selling Cookies Outside a Medical Marijuana Dispensary

Official Government Report: Americans Really Love Pizza. Especially White Teenage Boys.

15th February 2014

Read it.

My, what a surprise! Aren’t you surprised? I’m sure surprised.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Official Government Report: Americans Really Love Pizza. Especially White Teenage Boys.

Calvin & Muad’Dib

12th February 2014

Read it.

 

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Calvin & Muad’Dib

Woman Shoots, Kills Boyfriend After Being Punched, Dragged Across Floor

8th February 2014

Read it.

Orangeburg, South Carolina Sheriff Leroy Ravenell cited self defense for a woman who shot her enraged boyfriend after he beat her and dragged her through the yard and across the floor on February 2nd.

Sounds about right. Would that more would do the same.

Think of it as evolution in action.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Woman Shoots, Kills Boyfriend After Being Punched, Dragged Across Floor

Four Chaplains Day

3rd February 2014

Read it.

The Four Chaplains, also sometimes referred to as the “Immortal Chaplains,” were four United States Army chaplains who gave their lives to save other civilian and military personnel during the sinking of the troop ship USAT Dorchester on February 3, 1943, during World War II. They helped other soldiers board lifeboats and gave up their own life jackets when the supply ran out. The chaplains joined arms, said prayers, and sang hymns as they went down with the ship.

Name an atheist who has saved someone’s life at the cost of his own. I can wait.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Four Chaplains Day

40 Years of D&D

29th January 2014

John Biggs takes a look.

On January 26, 1974 the world changed. A panoply of creatures popped into existence – Owlbears lumbered out of the woods while Bullettes snuffled out of caves, blinking in the sunlight. Adventurers donned metal plate armor and led their ambling pack horses into darkened dungeons. Traps sprung, capturing teams of dwarves in iron nets while gold glittered tantalizingly close to a shambling skeleton. For some, the ’70s were an era of free love. For others they were the era of untrammeled adventure.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on 40 Years of D&D

The War Against Butter Is Over. Butter Won.

27th January 2014

Read it.

Anglo-Dutch consumer products giant Unilever spent more than 20 years trying to beat butter at its own game. But the maker of Flora, Country Crock, and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, appears ready to give up the fight.

Butter is better. Next up: Potatoes.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on The War Against Butter Is Over. Butter Won.

Nearly 1/4 of Texas House Republicans Invite Sean Hannity to Lone Star State

24th January 2014

Read it.

The move comes after Texas Lt. Governor David Dewhurst penned a January 21, 2014 letter welcoming the conservative icon, in response to Hannity’s remarks that he was considering such a move. The letter signed by the legislators was penned by Texas House Ways and Means chairman and candidate for Texas Comptroller Harvey Hilderbran. Rep. Hilderbran spearheaded the effort to get the signatures. Breitbart News was the first to learn of the effort.

Y’all come back now, hear?

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Nearly 1/4 of Texas House Republicans Invite Sean Hannity to Lone Star State

New Zimmerman Painting of Florida Prosecutor Unveiled

24th January 2014

Read it.

I think it captures her soul, don’t you?

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on New Zimmerman Painting of Florida Prosecutor Unveiled

‘Machine Gun Tourism’ Thriving in Las Vegas

22nd January 2014

Read it.

Irwin says the “Hello Kitty guns” are popular with bachelorette parties.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | 1 Comment »

3D Printing Gives 16-Year-Old Bomb Victim a Hand

21st January 2014

Read it.

We have the technology.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on 3D Printing Gives 16-Year-Old Bomb Victim a Hand

The Backpack Cannon

21st January 2014

Read it.

Gun Manufacturers Smith & Wesson have unleashed their newest revolver: a monster .460 calibre handgun which they say is ‘great for a back-up gun, or for hunting’.

Named the ‘Backpack Cannon’, the gun was unveiled in Las Vegas on Monday at the Shooting, Hunting, and Outdoor Trade show, the largest gun show in the U.S., which around 60,000 gun fans attend every year.

The cannon – officially called the Performance Center Model.460 – features a three-inch barrel, high visibility sights and synthetic shock absorber on the rear of the handle, as well as a massive chamber to fit the gigantic .460 calibre rounds, which are some of the biggest and most powerful bullets in the world.

You aren’t going to get a lot of range or accuracy with only a 3″ barrel. Still….

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on The Backpack Cannon

iTunes U.

12th January 2014

Read it.

Lynn University will phase out its learning management system for the next stage of its tablet-centric evolution. Beginning this fall, the university’s daytime undergraduate courses will be managed through Apple’s course management software, iTunes U.

The move makes Lynn one of only a handful of institutions that offer more than a select few courses through iTunes U, and is noteworthy because Lynn will trade a more comprehensive system, Blackboard Learn, for a product lacking key features such as analytics, attendance tracking and gradebooks.

 

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on iTunes U.

Automated Farms: The Internet of Things, Stalk by Stalk

12th January 2014

Read it.

Bob Dible is an electrical engineer that works on his family farm in Kansas. He describes the productivity strides made in agriculture. “We generate GPS (global positioning system) yield maps using data from the combine as it harvests. That helps us determine what nutrients are needed the next season at various parts of our four-square-mile farm.”

Dible then programs those different nutrient mixes and locations onto the crop sprayer aircraft. As the crop sprayer flies over the field, it dynamically changes the mix of fertilizer based on its location.

The $900,000 Air Tractor model 802 has 1300hp and a payload of 9,249 lbs. In 2013 the plane can change its fertilizer mix every dozen meters. Dible, as an engineer, knows what is coming. “One day we will monitor and grow the corn on a stalk-by-stalk basis. When we plant crops, GPS with RTK (Real Time Kinematics) gives us 1-inch accuracy.” It’s not hard to see Dible’s vision even now. With today’s technology, a small autonomous robot could drive down the rows of corn.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Automated Farms: The Internet of Things, Stalk by Stalk

26 Animals That Are Having the Best Snow Day Ever

10th January 2014

Read it.

All together now: Awwwwwww!

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on 26 Animals That Are Having the Best Snow Day Ever

Most US Congress Members Are Now Millionaires

10th January 2014

Read it.

As John Derbyshire, Patron Saint of Dyspepsia, always says: Get a government job!

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Most US Congress Members Are Now Millionaires

Walmart Health Plan More Affordable, Superior to Obamacare

7th January 2014

Read it.

A Washington Examiner evaluation of Walmart’s employee healthcare plan rated it superior to and more affordable than Obamacare. Over the years, Walmart has been undermined by unions and liberal activists, who claim that the retail giant is “notorious” for providing “substandard” healthcare plans.

The former president of the Illinois State Association of Health Underwriters, Robert Slayton, said that in Chicago, Obamacare offers a restricted list of hospital participation. Walmart, on the other hand, belongs to a national healthcare network that provides almost twice as many participating hospitals. What’s more, Walmart’s network of doctors dwarfs Obamacare’s. “You will notice there are 9,837 doctors [under Obamacare]. But the larger network is 24,904 doctors. Huge, huge difference,” Slayton said.

My, what a surprise! Aren’t you surprised? I’m sure surprised.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Walmart Health Plan More Affordable, Superior to Obamacare

Lunch: An Urban Invention

7th January 2014

Read it.

Automats are before even my time, but I wish I’d thought to ask my father about the introduction of sliced wrapped bread.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Lunch: An Urban Invention

Science Teacher Loses 37 Lbs. on McDonald’s Diet

5th January 2014

Read it.

A high school science teacher in Iowa lost 37 pounds and lowered his cholesterol by eating nothing but McDonald’s for three months.

John Cisna told KCCI that his body did not deteriorate like the star from the Super Size Me documentary.

That’s because the star from the Super Size Me documentary was a tendentious asshole who started out with a conclusion and made it happen. Quelle surprise.

Cisna’s “bad cholesterol” actually dropped from 249 to 170, and he said he “embarked on the diet to show how we can eat anything as long as we stick to 2,000 calories per day and stay close to the recommended dietary allowances for nutrients.”

Another big factor in his weight loss was that Cisna “began walking for 45 minutes a day, a factor which no doubt contributed to the results.”

“The point behind this documentary is, ‘Hey, it’s (a) choice. We all have choices. It’s our choices that make us fat not McDonald’s,” he said.

I’m lovin’ it.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Science Teacher Loses 37 Lbs. on McDonald’s Diet

Today is National Fruitcake Toss Day

3rd January 2014

Read it. And watch the video. (You know there had to be a video.)

Just in case you were wondering. I know I was.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Today is National Fruitcake Toss Day

Wisconsin Ushers in ‘Pedal Pub’ Law for 2014

1st January 2014

Read it.

Gov. Scott Walker has signed a bill that legalizes drinking on pedal pubs. Pedal pubs accommodate up to 16 riders that sit across from each other, using peddles underneath their seats to slowly power the quadracycles across city streets.

While a driver steers the multi-pedaled vehicle, riders sit in seats and can rest their tasty alcoholic beverage on the bar mounted in front of them. Although passengers continue to pedal the vehicle, they are still able to raise their glasses and toast each other or citizens that wave to them as they roll by.

I am not making this up.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Wisconsin Ushers in ‘Pedal Pub’ Law for 2014

Walmart Is Now More Selective Than Harvard

29th December 2013

Read it.

Harvard may have met its match. In a segment that aired earlier this week on “The Colbert Report,” Stephen Colbert commented on the fact that 23,000 people applied for 600 jobs at two recently-opened Walmart stores, giving Walmart a frighteningly low acceptance rate of 2.6 percent.

Colbert put it best when he warned applicants to Harvard and Princeton that they may be aiming too low. “It turns out,” he said, “there’s now an even more elite institution on the scene.”

 

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Walmart Is Now More Selective Than Harvard

A Micro-Muscular Breakthrough

23rd December 2013

Read it.

Vanadium dioxide is poised to join the pantheon of superstars in the materials world. Already prized for its extraordinary ability to change size, shape and physical identity, vanadium dioxide can now add muscle power to its attributes. A team of researchers with the U.S. Department of Energy (DOE)’s Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (Berkeley Lab) has demonstrated a micro-sized robotic torsional muscle/motor made from vanadium dioxide that for its size is a thousand times more powerful than a human muscle, able to catapult objects 50 times heavier than itself over a distance five times its length within 60 milliseconds –  faster than the blink of an eye.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on A Micro-Muscular Breakthrough

What a Merry Christmas Looks Like

22nd December 2013

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on What a Merry Christmas Looks Like

Researchers Crack The World’s Toughest Encryption by Listening to the Tiny Sounds Made by Your Computer’s CPU

19th December 2013

Read it.

This acoustic cryptanalysis, carried out by Daniel Genkin, Adi Shamir (who co-invented RSA), and Eran Tromer, uses what’s known as a side channel attack. A side channel is an attack vector that is non-direct and unconventional, and thus hasn’t been properly secured. For example, your pass code prevents me from directly attacking your phone — but if I could work out your pass code by looking at the greasy smudges on your screen, that would be a side channel attack. In this case, the security researchers listen to the high-pitched (10 to 150 KHz) sounds produced by your computer as it decrypts data.

Posted in Is this a great country, or what? | Comments Off on Researchers Crack The World’s Toughest Encryption by Listening to the Tiny Sounds Made by Your Computer’s CPU