DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Archive for the 'News You Can Use.' Category

Fears mistletoe will die out because of modern farming methods

5th December 2008

Read it.

Baldur, for one, will be glad to hear it.

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Fighting bear advert voted funniest of all time

5th December 2008

Watch it.

Bear’s got a mean side kick.

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Danish Warship Sinks Pirate Vessel

5th December 2008

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Buy Havarti cheese. It’s a moral imperative.

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Bizarre new atlas comes to the Great Land of the Tattooed

4th December 2008

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Couldn’t have happened to a nicer place.

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Family walks pet sheep alongside dogs

4th December 2008

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Well, why not?

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French scientists planning to clone luxury “black diamond” truffles

4th December 2008

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We have the technology.

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Lost city of ‘cloud people’ found in Peru

3rd December 2008

Read it.

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Butterfly wings help develop self-cleaning windows

3rd December 2008

Read it.

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Japan unveils ‘space beer’

3rd December 2008

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It’s not all Doom and Gloom.

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Motoman SDA10 robot shows off its cooking, camera-building skills

2nd December 2008

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When they make one that can weed the beans, call me.

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Ugandan men warned of ‘booby trap’ after chloroform attacks

2nd December 2008

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Ugandan men have been warned by police of a “booby trap” after several were knocked out by chloroform smeared on women’s chests by criminal gangs.

No pun intended, of course.

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Snow showers to sweep Britain

2nd December 2008

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Is AlGore in town?

Gotta love that Global Warming.

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Mumbai attacks: Australian at Cafe Leopold ‘held off attackers singlehandedly’

2nd December 2008

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Gotta love Australians.

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Britain’s biggest bullock weighs in at more than 3,500lbs

2nd December 2008

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The Field Marshall now weighs more than the previous record holder, his former stablemate The Colonel, who stood 6ft 5ins tall and weighed 3,500lbs before his death in 2005.

I’m surprised they didn’t call him The Government, considering the amount of Barbra Streisand he must generate every day.

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Annual holiday gift guide: Kitchen Edition.

1st December 2008

Megan McArdle does the chick thing.

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Stuff Environmentalists Like

1st December 2008

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From the people who brought you ‘Stuff White People Like’.

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Windspire vertical turbine on sale now, aiming to capture the consumer wind power market

1st December 2008

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Mariah Power’s Windspire is a 9 meter tall vertical turbine intended for residential or commercial installation, capable of providing about a quarter of the power an “average” household needs (2000 kWh annually). It’s “bird-friendly” thanks to a relatively slow maximum blade speed (2.5 times that of the wind) and even includes WiFi so you can watch your carbon footprint shrink wirelessly.

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There is no Tool You do Not Need

29th November 2008

The Hog advises on tools.

I don’t just want tools. I want tools that make things easy. Over and over, I have said that the real purpose of tools is to end frustration. My idea of hell is spending every day doing jobs with the wrong tools. While listening to rap. And wearing bell bottoms. And drinking Budweiser. In France.

This principle is why people who create new slot designs for fasteners should be released naked in the middle of the Libyan desert at midnight. During the scorpion rut. Every time a new slot design is created, people who want to be able to turn screws have to buy at least three new drivers and a bunch of bits. I have tons of these things, I and I still can’t turn all the screws I encounter. That leads to fun activities like trying to turn screws with a small Vise Grip. Put it on, start to turn, watch it pop off. Repeat for four hours. Check Expedia for fares to Libya.

I already know the name of my next book. “1,000 Exotic Fasteners and How to Strip Them.”

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Why rats can’t vomit

28th November 2008

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Just in case you were wondering. I know I was.

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What it means for the Fed to start “printing money.”

27th November 2008

Read it.

Just in case you were wondering. I know I was.

And those who doubt that somebody writing for Slate magazine knows anything useful about money or economics? I share your concern. For such people, Mencius Moldbug has the answer.

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It’s time to raise a glass (of heavy water) to a longer life

27th November 2008

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Just imagine what all of the eco-nutters who shrink from irradiated food will do with this one.

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Lost jungle planted by Victorian explorer discovered at country estate

26th November 2008

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Shaolin Temple franchises out kung-fu monks

26th November 2008

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Shi Yongxin, the abbot of Shaolin, said he had signed a 20-year contract to manage the Tuwang, Fading, Miaozhan and Guangyin temples in Kunming.

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USB powered lunch bag will keep your food hot while you “work”

25th November 2008

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Traditional school day ‘a thing of the past’

25th November 2008

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Britain may be ahead of us here.

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Jilted boyfriend used nude pictures in Facebook revenge

25th November 2008

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Lessons to be learned:

  • Don’t give your boyfriend nude pictures of yourself.
  • Stay away from Facebook.

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Australian cash-machine thieves blow up getaway car

25th November 2008

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Gotta love Australians.

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Australians abandon Britain for better jobs back home

25th November 2008

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Can’t really blame them. Given the choice between moving to Britain and moving to Australia, I’d pick Australia every time.

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Bacon flavoured chocolate bar is a sell out

24th November 2008

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What’s not to like?

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Four illegal immigrants found hiding in Christmas tree

24th November 2008

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And I’ll bet not one of them looked like a partridge.

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Nanotech polyester fabric never gets wet, brings back the leisure suit in a big way

24th November 2008

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Boogie down.

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NICT researchers develop new method to make holography more practical

24th November 2008

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UK brought to standstill as five inches of snow falls in an hour

24th November 2008

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Is AlGore in town?

Gotta love that Global Warming.

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In Our Genes, Old Fossils Take On New Roles

22nd November 2008

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It turns out that about 8 percent of the human genome is made up of viruses that once attacked our ancestors. The viruses lost. What remains are the molecular equivalents of mounted trophies, insects preserved in genomic amber, DNA fossils.

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New Concentrated Solar Tech: Simple, Cheap and Efficient

22nd November 2008

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While other companies are working to make solar cheaper by using mirrors or lenses to magnify sunlight that is directed into solar cells, Morgan Solar takes a different approach. Their system uses a thin sheet of acrylic to concentrate sunlight 750 times. The sunlight is directed to a tiny cell on the edge of the plastic, greatly reducing the amount of material needed.

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Police helicopter avoids colliding with UFO, report claims

22nd November 2008

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Certainly better than running into one.

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As Internet Usage Grows, Sexual Offenses Against Kids Have Decreased

21st November 2008

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We have the technology.

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Greek archaeologists find 6,500-year-old fishing village

20th November 2008

Read it.

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Man caught with penis in pasta jar while driving

20th November 2008

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Gotta love Australians.

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Britain’s smallest horse

20th November 2008

Read it.

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Early Indo-Europeans in Xinjiang

20th November 2008

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Secret of the perfect phone call

20th November 2008

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Just in case you were wondering. I know I was.

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New wind turbines at least 30% more efficient, Earth one step closer to salvation

20th November 2008

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I still say we need to hook a wind turbine up to AlGore’s mouth, we’d be able to solve our energy problems for decades. Hey, we’re stuck with all that hot air anyway, we might as well get some use out of it.

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Swastikas & the Confrontation Clause

20th November 2008

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Bet you’d never heard of the “Confrontation Clause” before this, had you. Well, you’d be amazed at the adventurous life we lawyers lead.

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Searaser floating pump will use the ocean’s waves to generate power

20th November 2008

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I’ve been waiting for somebody to come along with a product like this.

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South Korea to develop new high-tech battle uniform – Halo fans approve wholeheartedly

18th November 2008

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France claims Hope Diamond is King Louis XIV’s long lost gem

18th November 2008

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France has claimed ownership of the Hope Diamond, a star exhibit in Washington’s Smithsonian Institution, using new research to suggest it is actually a legendary gem once owned by King Louis XIV that was looted in the French Revolution.

Good luck with that.

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Russia to raise shipwreck containing Catherine the Great’s treasures

18th November 2008

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Russia plans to raise a schooner that sank off the coast of Finland in 1771 with gold, precious porcelain and Dutch paintings for Empress Catherine the Great aboard.

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Das Kapital turned into a manga comic

18th November 2008

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I am not making this up.

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Poisonous cane toads killing Australian crocodiles

18th November 2008

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Sounds like a win-win to me. Who really needs crocodiles? Think of it as evolution in action.

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