5th September 2009
These are, indeed, the Last Times.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on The world’s first “Twitter opera” Twitterdammerung has been given its premier at London’s Royal Opera House.
2nd September 2009
And give up any thought of ever holding a security clearance or running for public office in a Red State.
It does, however, fit on your resume if you want to be a teacher, community organizer, or Rainbow Coalition race pimp.
There is balance in all things.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Become a Facebook friend with a mountain gorilla
24th August 2009
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Susan Boyle ‘could be played by Robin Williams’ in film
16th August 2009
We introduce a basic model for zombie infection, determine equilibria and their stability, and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions. We then refine the model to introduce a latent period of zombification, whereby humans are infected, but not infectious, before becoming undead. We then modify the model to include the effects of possible quarantine or a cure. Finally, we examine the impact of regular, impulsive reductions in the number of zombies and derive conditions under which eradication can occur.
Hey — tenure doesn’t grow on trees, you know.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Mathematics of a Zombie Attack
13th August 2009
We all know what a disaster a sunburned penguin would be. The PETA people would have a cow, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Bald penguin given wetsuit to prevent sunburn
6th August 2009
No animals were harmed in the making of this phone.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Finally, a phone that goes with your Prius.
2nd August 2009
You knew it was coming.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on “Jobless grad sues college for 70G tuition”
31st July 2009
You knew it had to happen.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Student sues Amazon after Kindle eats his homework
30th July 2009
Living proof that some people have too much time on their hands.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Ancient animal ancestors: historical portraits of cats and dogs
9th July 2009
I wonder whether he yelled “Fire!” in a Tommy Smothers voice?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Man dies after falling into vat of chocolate
4th July 2009
The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to be pausible.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Blind man has sight restored by having tooth implanted in his eye
3rd July 2009
A car salesman used his kung fu expertise to kill his partner, an executive with Mercedes, after she announced she was leaving him for her married boss.
Soon to be a major motion picture.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Mercedes executive killed by ‘kung fu’ boyfriend
22nd June 2009
Ah, those collection societies just never learn, do they? We’ve discussed in the past how ASCAP once threatened the Girl Scouts for singing songs around the campfire, but in the past few years it’s been ASCAP’s counterpart in the UK that’s been in the news the most for things like threatening small business owners after calling them on the phone and saying they hear music in the background or threatening a stable owner for playing the radio to her horses. I guess ASCAP was feeling a bit left out. Its latest move is to claim that legally purchased ringtones on mobiles phones, playing in public places, represents a public performance for which it is owed royalties. Songwriters and music publishers already are paid royalties on ringtone purchases, but ASCAP is claiming that buying the file is entirely different than “the performance” (i.e., the phone ringing).
Gee, what does that sound like? Perhaps like the whining about the voice features in the new Kindle?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on ASCAP Now Claiming That Your Mobile Phone Ringing Is A Public Performance
17th June 2009
Hilaire Purbrick, 45, has inhabited the seven-foot cave he dug on his plot and dined off the land for the past 16 years.
But after having the dwelling checked by the fire brigade, Brighton and Hove City Council decided it did not have enough exits and sought an injunction banning him from entering it.
I swear, it must be something in the water.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Eco-warrior evicted from cave dwelling without fire exit
15th June 2009
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Spock Days: a Star Trek convention in Vulcan, Alberta
1st June 2009
George McGovern give the Obamassiah some advice.
Of course, this is like getting advice from Jimmy Carter on how to handle the economy and relations with Muslim states.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
18th May 2009
This must be seen to be believed. If Tsar Nicholas had a computer, this is the sort of computer he would have.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Insane Russian casemod shamelessly puts good taste to bed once and for all
20th April 2009
Now that’s comedy.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Chinese craze for English tattoos
6th April 2009
You never know what can happen when you fly the friendly skies….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Air rage incident sparked by model ‘catching boyfriend in compromising position’
4th April 2009
And there you have the modern world in a nutshell.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Lawyer who wrongly accused chef of rape says she forgives him
22nd March 2009
With online social networks becoming ever more important in our lives, they’re also becoming an important element in our deaths. Mr. Spangenberg, who died suddenly from an abdominal aneurysm at age 57, was unprepared, but others are leaving detailed instructions. There’s even a tiny industry that has sprung up to help people wrap up their online contacts after their deaths.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Internet gamers leave death notices to pals
16th March 2009
Read it.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on North Korea launches perfect Italian pizza
13th March 2009
You can find anything on the Internet. Wait until the end to see who it’s sponsored by.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on One way to sell missiles
9th March 2009
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Wheelchair-bound man sues MI5 after application for spy job rejected
7th March 2009
What a metaphor for the entire history of U.S. policy toward third-world countries.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Morgan Tsvangirai’s wife ‘killed by US aid truck’
6th March 2009
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on ‘Cocaine cast’ man arrested at Spanish airport
6th March 2009
Hey, this is important stuff.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on If You Duplicate That Virtual Sword In The Real World… Is It Copyright Infringement?
20th February 2009
We have the technology.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
17th February 2009
Apparently she has decided to sue search engines because searches on her name lead to malware and porn. (Her husband is a lawyer, which may explain the lawsuit but probably hasn’t got anything to do with the results of the searches. Probably.)
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Yahoo/Overture Sued for Search Results Snippets Containing Plaintiff’s Name–Stayart v. Yahoo
18th January 2009
Darwin Award: We have a winner.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Cigar smoker dies when oxygen tank catches fire
15th January 2009
Will Charlie Brown try to kick Lucy’s football once again?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Chavez looks to West for help with oil production
8th January 2009
Heh.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Art gallery fooled into showing work of a two-year-old
6th January 2009
I thought that these wierdos only lived in America.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Old gods on rise in Greece?
29th December 2008
Can you say “Darwin Award”? I knew you could.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Video: Great white shark circles kayakers and fishermen in Sydney
28th December 2008
I say we go them one better, and feed the entire family to the shark. I’m sure they would want it that way.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Victim’s family call for shark to be spared
22nd December 2008
Just in case you were wondering. I know I was.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Scorpion Queen holds scorpion in mouth for two minutes
21st December 2008
Guess Joe Stockbroker is just as quick as Joe Sixpack to resort to violence to preseve his way of life.
Reminds me of Ted Kennedy and his liberal friends turning into NIMBYs when it was proposed to put a wind turbine farm (“Alternative energy good! Oil and coal and nukes bad!”) where it would spoil their view.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Villagers shoot down advertising balloon over country park
21st December 2008
Good luck with that.
“Well, we don’t believe in legs, but we want to walk anyway, so we’re searching for alternatives.”
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Humanist Parents Seek Communion Outside Church
19th December 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Straight man wins claim over gay taunts
16th December 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Weather rocket kills man and blows up his body at cremation
15th December 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on US anti-kidnapping expert kidnapped in Mexico
15th December 2008
California — the gift that keeps on giving.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on California city council sets curfew for night owl mayor
11th December 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on School choir forced to pull out of winter festival because carols were ‘too religious’
10th December 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Coach driver given a parking ticket as he helped a disabled passenger
8th December 2008
Imagine the insurance claim form.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Pilot lands on iceberg and jumps to safety before plane sinks
8th December 2008
We have the technology.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Gurkhas win award making sculpture from lard
5th December 2008
Raw talent will out.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Pensioner flipped car in garage
4th December 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Where Witches Shop
4th December 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on A grieving daughter was told by hospital chiefs they could not investigate her complaints about the treatment of her dead father unless he signed a consent form.