Wheelchair-bound man sues MI5 after application for spy job rejected
9th March 2009
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Archive for the 'You can’t make this stuff up.' Category
Morgan Tsvangirai’s wife ‘killed by US aid truck’
7th March 2009
What a metaphor for the entire history of U.S. policy toward third-world countries.
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‘Cocaine cast’ man arrested at Spanish airport
6th March 2009
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If You Duplicate That Virtual Sword In The Real World… Is It Copyright Infringement?
6th March 2009
Hey, this is important stuff.
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Cannabis grower caught by police after posting video of crop on YouTube
20th February 2009
We have the technology.
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Yahoo/Overture Sued for Search Results Snippets Containing Plaintiff’s Name–Stayart v. Yahoo
17th February 2009
Apparently she has decided to sue search engines because searches on her name lead to malware and porn. (Her husband is a lawyer, which may explain the lawsuit but probably hasn’t got anything to do with the results of the searches. Probably.)
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Cigar smoker dies when oxygen tank catches fire
18th January 2009
Darwin Award: We have a winner.
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Chavez looks to West for help with oil production
15th January 2009
Will Charlie Brown try to kick Lucy’s football once again?
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Art gallery fooled into showing work of a two-year-old
8th January 2009
Heh.
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Old gods on rise in Greece?
6th January 2009
I thought that these wierdos only lived in America.
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Video: Great white shark circles kayakers and fishermen in Sydney
29th December 2008
Can you say “Darwin Award”? I knew you could.
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Victim’s family call for shark to be spared
28th December 2008
I say we go them one better, and feed the entire family to the shark. I’m sure they would want it that way.
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Scorpion Queen holds scorpion in mouth for two minutes
22nd December 2008
Just in case you were wondering. I know I was.
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Villagers shoot down advertising balloon over country park
21st December 2008
Guess Joe Stockbroker is just as quick as Joe Sixpack to resort to violence to preseve his way of life.
Reminds me of Ted Kennedy and his liberal friends turning into NIMBYs when it was proposed to put a wind turbine farm (“Alternative energy good! Oil and coal and nukes bad!”) where it would spoil their view.
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Humanist Parents Seek Communion Outside Church
21st December 2008
Good luck with that.
“Well, we don’t believe in legs, but we want to walk anyway, so we’re searching for alternatives.”
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Straight man wins claim over gay taunts
19th December 2008
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Weather rocket kills man and blows up his body at cremation
16th December 2008
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US anti-kidnapping expert kidnapped in Mexico
15th December 2008
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California city council sets curfew for night owl mayor
15th December 2008
California — the gift that keeps on giving.
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School choir forced to pull out of winter festival because carols were ‘too religious’
11th December 2008
- Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
- Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in California.
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Coach driver given a parking ticket as he helped a disabled passenger
10th December 2008
- Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
- Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in New York.
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Pilot lands on iceberg and jumps to safety before plane sinks
8th December 2008
Imagine the insurance claim form.
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Gurkhas win award making sculpture from lard
8th December 2008
We have the technology.
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Pensioner flipped car in garage
5th December 2008
Raw talent will out.
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Where Witches Shop
4th December 2008
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A grieving daughter was told by hospital chiefs they could not investigate her complaints about the treatment of her dead father unless he signed a consent form.
4th December 2008
- Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
- Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in D.C.
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British crew jump overboard as pirates hijack another tanker off Somalia
2nd December 2008
As soon as the pirates showed up, the “security staff” jumped ship. You can’t make this stuff up.
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The bacon iPhone sleeve: for discerning eyes only
17th November 2008
Well, if you’re serious about bacon….
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Batman, The City, Sues Over Batman, The Movie
11th November 2008
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Unruly children to be punished with ‘innovative’ foot massages
3rd November 2008
No doubt the hard-core cases will get the Comfy Chair.
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Dilemma of man ‘asked by social workers to donate organ to son he is not allowed to see’
2nd November 2008
Bureaucracy — straining at gnats and swallowing camels since before recorded time.
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Muslim police chef claims religious discrimination over sausage and bacon breakfasts
1st November 2008
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Kazakhstan, homeland of Borat, issues diamond-inlaid credit card
1st November 2008
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National Peasant Games open in China
30th October 2008
Words fail me.
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Cocaine use doubles after Labour launches anti-drug strategy
30th October 2008
Now how many governments can cause that kind of change so quickly?
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Fish should be renamed “sea kittens” to boost public concern for their welfare, according to animal rights campaigners.
25th October 2008
Read it, if you dare.
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Lookalike friends discover they are sisters
16th October 2008
Sounds like a great plot for a movie.
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Man with seven wives is to become a father twice in three months
7th October 2008
Good thing he’s not a Mormon or he’d be in real trouble.
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Woman spends £10,000 on cat so it can miaow again
5th October 2008
Women are actually an alien species. I’ve always said so.
Well, at least it wasn’t $12 million to a dog. That’s a hostile alien species.
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Muslim ‘Barbie and Ken’ dolls created by Iranian government
26th September 2008
I would have thought that Ken would have a beard. And we can see entirely too much of Barbie. And wouldn’t they be called Fatima and Mohammed?
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Zimbabwe president Robert Mugabe accuses Britain of genocide in UN
26th September 2008
Boy, those Zimbabweans are sure lucky they’re no longer under the boot of that oppressive white regime.
Thank God for the U.N. and the international community, or who knows what sort of hell they’d be living in now.
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Japanese Girl Sensation: Virtual Boyfriends (Webkare)
21st September 2008
I refuse to accept any alien species in a science fiction story unless their culture is stranger than that of the Japanese. This rule of thumb has stood me in good stead for over 40 years, and it’s still going strong.
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Swiss restaurant to serve meals cooked with human breast milk
17th September 2008
We have the technology.
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Smugglers built vodka pipeline
17th September 2008
We have the technology.
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Have Fewer Kids, Save the Planet?
4th September 2008
No, this is not an extract from the Stuff White People Like book. Although it would certainly fit in.
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San Marino appoints a diplomat to Wales
30th August 2008
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Couple have 50 cars in 15 years crash into front garden
6th August 2008
I think God is telling you to move somewhere else. Take the hint. Or put up concrete posts.
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Italian nuns set up inflatable church to save the souls of beach bums
6th August 2008
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Salinas the Californian town fighting gangs by fasting
29th July 2008
Unfortunately, it would seem that they neglected the “and prayer” part.
It had never been designed to “take the place” of law enforcement but had served to “bring people together and raise consciousness,” he added.
Will all of the attempts to “raise consciousness” since that vile phrase was originated in the 60s, you’d think that there wasn’t any higher it could go.
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War veterans banned from flying flag over fears they may hurt themselves
25th July 2008
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