Archive for the 'You can’t make this stuff up.' Category
5th October 2008
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Women are actually an alien species. I’ve always said so.
Well, at least it wasn’t $12 million to a dog. That’s a hostile alien species.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Woman spends £10,000 on cat so it can miaow again
26th September 2008
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I would have thought that Ken would have a beard. And we can see entirely too much of Barbie. And wouldn’t they be called Fatima and Mohammed?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Muslim ‘Barbie and Ken’ dolls created by Iranian government
26th September 2008
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Boy, those Zimbabweans are sure lucky they’re no longer under the boot of that oppressive white regime.
Thank God for the U.N. and the international community, or who knows what sort of hell they’d be living in now.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Zimbabwe president Robert Mugabe accuses Britain of genocide in UN
21st September 2008
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I refuse to accept any alien species in a science fiction story unless their culture is stranger than that of the Japanese. This rule of thumb has stood me in good stead for over 40 years, and it’s still going strong.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »
17th September 2008
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We have the technology.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Swiss restaurant to serve meals cooked with human breast milk
17th September 2008
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We have the technology.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Smugglers built vodka pipeline
4th September 2008
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No, this is not an extract from the Stuff White People Like book. Although it would certainly fit in.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Have Fewer Kids, Save the Planet?
30th August 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on San Marino appoints a diplomat to Wales
6th August 2008
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I think God is telling you to move somewhere else. Take the hint. Or put up concrete posts.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Couple have 50 cars in 15 years crash into front garden
6th August 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Italian nuns set up inflatable church to save the souls of beach bums
29th July 2008
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Unfortunately, it would seem that they neglected the “and prayer” part.
It had never been designed to “take the place” of law enforcement but had served to “bring people together and raise consciousness,” he added.
Will all of the attempts to “raise consciousness” since that vile phrase was originated in the 60s, you’d think that there wasn’t any higher it could go.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Salinas the Californian town fighting gangs by fasting
25th July 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on War veterans banned from flying flag over fears they may hurt themselves
25th July 2008
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Be the first on your block to play one on the Internet.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Medical ‘Wikipedia’ Is Looking For a Few Good Doctors
17th July 2008
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Well, there you have it.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Shouting vase muffles outbursts, doubles as flower holder
16th July 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on iShoe promises to detect balance problems before it’s too late
11th July 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Satanist father and Christian mother fight for Sunday morning custody rights
10th July 2008
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Well. There it is.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on A cyclist has died after hitting a Go Slow road sign.
9th July 2008
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Update: A more comprehensive explanation of the issues is here.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Bible publisher faces $60M federal lawsuit over homosexuality
2nd July 2008
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Gotta love Australians.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Rock anthems replacing hymns at Australian funerals
26th June 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Prince Sues Musicians For Making A Tribute Album For His Birthday
25th June 2008
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Good luck to ’em, I say.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Dutch prepare for Maya apocalypse
23rd June 2008
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As George Carlin used to say, if you nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, some schmuck will buy it.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Pigbuds: ’cause your ears are purty too
22nd June 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Flight cancelled after pilot too upset to fly
20th June 2008
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Usually you have to be elected before you get this pretentious.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on The Great Seal of Obamaland?
15th June 2008
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Well, that’s New York for you.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on New York dog sucked into street cleaner
7th June 2008
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California. ‘Nuff said.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Four better or four worse for marriage of four
3rd June 2008
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Art Made of Fat
3rd June 2008
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The site is Vegans of Color.
So the semester ended for me here at Vassar, and as all the seniors moved out of their on-campus apartments they threw out a lot food. So my friends and I did the reasonable thing for a bunch of broke students who are working on campus during the summer– we grabbed our backpacks and hit the dumpsters.
I am not making this up.
I don’t think it’s a parody site, but….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Race & Class in Ethical Consumption & Sustainability Movements
2nd June 2008
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Wonder whether they ground him up and molded him into a body shape first.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Designer of Pringles carton buried in crisp tube
31st May 2008
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They actually pay people to come up with this stuff.
(Well, I don’t really know that — it’s entirely possible to have it done by a computer program.)
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Web 2.0 Buzzword Bingo
28th May 2008
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Now, this sounds like a fantastic idea; put one of the most virulent hate groups operating openly in the US in charge of fighting crime in Miami….
The fact that they aren’t real Muslims isn’t that much of a comfort.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Nation of Islam to Police Miami
27th May 2008
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Rainbow Warrior, here we come….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Environmentally Friendly Bombs Planned
21st May 2008
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I would have no problem with that if, in turn, we could declare certain activists to be chimpanzees.
I mean, fair is fair.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Activists want chimpanzee declared a person
20th May 2008
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- Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
- Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in California.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Two mother IVF families enshrined in law
17th May 2008
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Sometimes, no amount of snark can top the real world.
I have to agree.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Sen. Arlen Specter Demands Investigation of Spying… In The NFL
10th May 2008
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And reality, apparently.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Holistic moms shun commercialism
9th May 2008
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“You can make a mainframe / from the things you have at home.” Jeez, I haven’t thought about that song in years.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on E-Fuel’s Micro Fueler creates Ethanol from sugar in your backyard
2nd May 2008
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- Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
- Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in Massachusetts or California. Avoid those states.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Former man and wife remarry as two women
27th April 2008
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Eat your heart out, Lee Ermey.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Russian Airborne Troops Music Video
10th April 2008
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Perhaps they could adopt the old system of having a guy ride ahead on a horse waving a red flag.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Proposed bill aims to set minimum auto sound levels
2nd April 2008
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I have no evidence that this is an April Fool joke. It’s just the sort of crap such people believe.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on A Rapist’s View of the World: Joss Whedon and Firefly
1st April 2008
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Some people just have entirely too much time on their hands.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Art Lebedev’s Defendius. Because unlocking doors is just a little too easy
1st April 2008
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Wow, that’s really cosmic, man.
You can almos hear the hippies chanting ‘OM’ in the background….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on The Seven Aphorisms of Summum
1st April 2008
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Some people don’t deserve to live in a technological society.
The girl’s lawyers claim that MySpace still had a responsibility to protect the girl, even though he doesn’t explain how it can protect a girl who lied about her age and then went off to meet with a much older guy in real life.
I’m sure Shari’a has some appropriate punishment for lawyers like this — cutting their tongue out, say.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Mother And Daughter Still Blame MySpace For Not Protecting Her From Sexual Assault
1st April 2008
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Imagine you were a state legislator and some folks asked you to pass a law making it a crime to give advice about paint colors and throw pillows without a license. And imagine they told you that the only people qualified to place large pieces of furniture in a room are those who have gotten a college degree in interior design, completed a two-year apprenticeship, and passed a national licensing exam. And by the way, it is criminally misleading for people who practice interior design to use that term without government permission.
You might stare at them incredulously for a moment, then look down at your calendar and say, “Oh, I get it — April Fool!” Right? Wrong.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Watch Out for That Pillow
24th March 2008
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Hey, we’re Americans. That’s what we do.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on F-15 Pilot Sues Boeing for Damages
21st March 2008
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This has texture, and scope.
The New York Times is, of course, the Official House Organ of White People.
I’m somewhat disappointed that, among the Things Mentioned, they didn’t include “Looking Down Your Trendier-Than-Thou Yuppie Nose At FlyOver Country”. That really ought to be in there.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on White People in the News – March 20th, 2008
15th March 2008
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You’ve got to wonder at a government that includes violation fines in its budgeting process. You would think this were the Middle Ages.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Dallas is considers shutting off red light cams, since they’re working too well and harming revenue