DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Archive for the 'You can’t make this stuff up.' Category

Eco-warrior evicted from cave dwelling without fire exit

17th June 2009

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Hilaire Purbrick, 45, has inhabited the seven-foot cave he dug on his plot and dined off the land for the past 16 years.

But after having the dwelling checked by the fire brigade, Brighton and Hove City Council decided it did not have enough exits and sought an injunction banning him from entering it.

I swear, it must be something in the water.

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Spock Days: a Star Trek convention in Vulcan, Alberta

15th June 2009

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We could defend ourselves with a military budget half the current size.

1st June 2009

George McGovern give the Obamassiah some advice.

Of course, this is like getting advice from Jimmy Carter on how to handle the economy and relations with Muslim states.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Insane Russian casemod shamelessly puts good taste to bed once and for all

18th May 2009

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This must be seen to be believed. If Tsar Nicholas had a computer, this is the sort of computer he would have.

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Bionic penguins take to the water – and the skies

21st April 2009

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Maybe we can hook them up with the tribes united against climate change. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

What we really need is a bionic walrus….

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Chinese craze for English tattoos

20th April 2009

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Now that’s comedy.

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Air rage incident sparked by model ‘catching boyfriend in compromising position’

6th April 2009

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You never know what can happen when you fly the friendly skies….

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Lawyer who wrongly accused chef of rape says she forgives him

4th April 2009

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And there you have the modern world in a nutshell.

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Internet gamers leave death notices to pals

22nd March 2009

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With online social networks becoming ever more important in our lives, they’re also becoming an important element in our deaths. Mr. Spangenberg, who died suddenly from an abdominal aneurysm at age 57, was unprepared, but others are leaving detailed instructions. There’s even a tiny industry that has sprung up to help people wrap up their online contacts after their deaths.

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Civet Coffee

16th March 2009

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North Korea launches perfect Italian pizza

16th March 2009

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One way to sell missiles

13th March 2009

Watch it.

You can find anything on the Internet. Wait until the end to see who it’s sponsored by.

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Wheelchair-bound man sues MI5 after application for spy job rejected

9th March 2009

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Morgan Tsvangirai’s wife ‘killed by US aid truck’

7th March 2009

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What a metaphor for the entire history of U.S. policy toward third-world countries.

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‘Cocaine cast’ man arrested at Spanish airport

6th March 2009

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If You Duplicate That Virtual Sword In The Real World… Is It Copyright Infringement?

6th March 2009

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Hey, this is important stuff.

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Cannabis grower caught by police after posting video of crop on YouTube

20th February 2009

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We have the technology.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Yahoo/Overture Sued for Search Results Snippets Containing Plaintiff’s Name–Stayart v. Yahoo

17th February 2009

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Apparently she has decided to sue search engines because searches on her name lead to malware and porn. (Her husband is a lawyer, which may explain the lawsuit but probably hasn’t got anything to do with the results of the searches. Probably.)

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Cigar smoker dies when oxygen tank catches fire

18th January 2009

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Darwin Award: We have a winner.

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Chavez looks to West for help with oil production

15th January 2009

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Will Charlie Brown try to kick Lucy’s football once again?

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Art gallery fooled into showing work of a two-year-old

8th January 2009

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Heh.

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Old gods on rise in Greece?

6th January 2009

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I thought that these wierdos only lived in America.

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Video: Great white shark circles kayakers and fishermen in Sydney

29th December 2008

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Can you say “Darwin Award”? I knew you could.

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Victim’s family call for shark to be spared

28th December 2008

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I say we go them one better, and feed the entire family to the shark. I’m sure they would want it that way.

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Scorpion Queen holds scorpion in mouth for two minutes

22nd December 2008

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Just in case you were wondering. I know I was.

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Villagers shoot down advertising balloon over country park

21st December 2008

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Guess Joe Stockbroker is just as quick as Joe Sixpack to resort to violence to preseve his way of life.

Reminds me of Ted Kennedy and his liberal friends turning into NIMBYs when it was proposed to put a wind turbine farm (“Alternative energy good! Oil and coal and nukes bad!”) where it would spoil their view.

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Humanist Parents Seek Communion Outside Church

21st December 2008

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Good luck with that.

“Well, we don’t believe in legs, but we want to walk anyway, so we’re searching for alternatives.”

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Straight man wins claim over gay taunts

19th December 2008

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Weather rocket kills man and blows up his body at cremation

16th December 2008

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US anti-kidnapping expert kidnapped in Mexico

15th December 2008

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California city council sets curfew for night owl mayor

15th December 2008

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California — the gift that keeps on giving.

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School choir forced to pull out of winter festival because carols were ‘too religious’

11th December 2008

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  1. Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
  2. Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in California.

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Coach driver given a parking ticket as he helped a disabled passenger

10th December 2008

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  1. Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
  2. Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in New York.

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Pilot lands on iceberg and jumps to safety before plane sinks

8th December 2008

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Imagine the insurance claim form.

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Gurkhas win award making sculpture from lard

8th December 2008

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We have the technology.

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Pensioner flipped car in garage

5th December 2008

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Raw talent will out.

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Where Witches Shop

4th December 2008

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A grieving daughter was told by hospital chiefs they could not investigate her complaints about the treatment of her dead father unless he signed a consent form.

4th December 2008

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  1. Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
  2. Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in D.C.

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British crew jump overboard as pirates hijack another tanker off Somalia

2nd December 2008

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As soon as the pirates showed up, the “security staff” jumped ship. You can’t make this stuff up.

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The bacon iPhone sleeve: for discerning eyes only

17th November 2008

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Well, if you’re serious about bacon….

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Batman, The City, Sues Over Batman, The Movie

11th November 2008

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Unruly children to be punished with ‘innovative’ foot massages

3rd November 2008

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No doubt the hard-core cases will get the Comfy Chair.

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Dilemma of man ‘asked by social workers to donate organ to son he is not allowed to see’

2nd November 2008

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Bureaucracy — straining at gnats and swallowing camels since before recorded time.

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Muslim police chef claims religious discrimination over sausage and bacon breakfasts

1st November 2008

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Kazakhstan, homeland of Borat, issues diamond-inlaid credit card

1st November 2008

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National Peasant Games open in China

30th October 2008

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Words fail me.

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Cocaine use doubles after Labour launches anti-drug strategy

30th October 2008

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Now how many governments can cause that kind of change so quickly?

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Fish should be renamed “sea kittens” to boost public concern for their welfare, according to animal rights campaigners.

25th October 2008

Read it, if you dare.

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Lookalike friends discover they are sisters

16th October 2008

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Sounds like a great plot for a movie.

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Man with seven wives is to become a father twice in three months

7th October 2008

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Good thing he’s not a Mormon or he’d be in real trouble.

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