Read it.

I am not making this up.

If you want to boycott rich liberals, however, that’s not an option — they own the government, and you can’t boycott the government.

Read it.

Remind me why we have United Nations….

Watch it.

The parking brake has its limits.

Read it.

As a way to improve the gene pool, I suspect that this scheme can’t be beat. I’ll be happy to chip in.

Read it.

Tony Bandermann was at work when he got the call. His son, Braden, was on a camping trip sponsored by California’s Garden Gate Elementary School when teachers discovered he had brought a small Swiss Army knife. Officials had suspended the boy for a day, and they wanted Bandermann to drive 100 miles, pick him up and then bring him back when the suspension was over. Bandermann refused, telling them they were overreacting. So teachers made the boy serve the suspension at the camp, isolating him from the other students, making him eat his meals by himself and not allowing him to take part in any activities for one day.

Read it.

A North Carolina Eagle Scout who was expelled and arrested for accidentally leaving a shotgun in his pickup truck in the school parking lot has been offered a scholarship to attend Liberty University.

Cole Withrow was just a few weeks from graduating with honors from Princeton High School when he was arrested on Monday and slapped with a felony weapons charge. Withrow had been skeet shooting with friends a day before and had only noticed he had left his shotgun in his truck as he reached to grab his book bag.

When he realized his mistake, he went to the front office and called his mother. An administrator overheard the conversation and called police.

That administrator needs to be taken out back and have the snot beaten out of him.

Meet the Greenest Home in America

In the surrounding hills of Silicon Valley stands the impressive Tah.Mah.Lah, the “Greenest house in America.” The home is also the brainchild and abode of Foundation Capital partner and longtime VC Paul Holland and his wife, Linda Yates. We were lucky enough to be invited into their home to hear about why and how they built the most sustainable home in the country.

There’s that work ‘sustainable’ again.

Read it.

As I’m sure we all have.

Some people just have too much time on their hands.

Watch it.

Read it.

Distant family members of King Richard III, whose body was unearthed in a council car park, are set to challenge plans to bury the monarch – claiming they are a breach of human rights.

This is how far our culture has degenerated. Feel free to weep.

Read it.

It’s not just for bridges any more.

Read it.

Grand Valley State University, a large public school in western Michigan, has been justly renowned as an NCAA Division II football powerhouse. Now, though, Grand Valley State will also be known as the school that settled for $40,000 after a student sued because she was banned from carrying around a pet guinea pig.

The student, 28-year-old Kendra Velzen, suffers from chronic depression and has a pacemaker, as MLive.com reports. According to her lawyer, the guinea pig supplies “emotional support and attachment (reducing symptoms of depression), and physiological and psychological benefits.”

If teachers and administrators at public schools seem to have their heads up their asses these days, dealing with crap like this might just be one of the reasons.

Read it.

Just in case you were wondering. I know I was.

Read it.

Hundreds of pom-poms and knitted items have been strung from trees and lampposts to help reduce the fear of crime in an area of Leicester.

Why, of course! Why didn’t we think of that?

Ms Bilby, a senior lecturer in criminology at Northumbria University, said: “I think that making an area look cosier certainly makes an area feel safer.

Not be safer, you understand, but feel safer. Feeling is far more important than being in this degenerate modern age.

They were made by schools and community groups including the Knitting Guerillas of Birstall.

Truly, you cannot make this shit up.

Read it.

And then there are the stories you read that go beyond our usual category of mere ineptitude.  Such as the Tabernacle Baptist Church in St. Louis that wants to fight gun violence by holding . . . a toy gun buyback.  Just a hunch here: I’ll bet they don’t sing “Onward Christian Soldiers” in that congregation.

Read it.

Gay students claimed that they even felt threatened by the mere sight of students and faculty carrying bags with the Chick-fil-A logo on them.

Poor babies.

Read it.

Next step: Mayor Bloomberg does the same for New York City.

Read it.

Some people just have entirely too much time on their hands.

Read it.

Among Derocher’s scenarios is using helicopters to airdrop food on polar bears as their icy habitat continues to melt — at a cost of $32,000 per day for the “most accessible” bears. (The hope is that such interventions would last days per year, not months).

“It’s a lot better to have some animals in the wild even if they are being supplemented in their food. If we were basically the sole food source for these animals, then we’re going to have some very serious issues. Then it won’t really be a polar bear anymore,” Derocher said on the phone. “It will be a semi-wild, semi-captive, free-ranging carnivore. And it probably wouldn’t do that well even if the ice started to come back” since the bear would become so dependent on the airlifted food that he may forget how to hunt.

(Sigh). It’s really come to this.

Read it.

Although parents worked with the Fairfax County Public Schools facilities department, purchased the equipment, hired a contractor and had the playground ready for recess, the school system suddenly deemed the play equipment too dangerous. Since Nov. 30 it has been off-limits, parents say.

Never mind that the same equipment is installed at more than 1,200 parks and schools across the country, including a public park in the county.

Your tax dollars at work. Hey, let’s put people like this in charge of our health care.

Read it.

I got yer culture, right here.

Read it.

Former president Nicolas Sarkozy could become the next wealthy Frenchman to flee to Britain over his country’s looming tax hikes on the rich.

Mr Sarkozy – who famously snubbed the Prime Minister’s attempt to shake his hand after Mr Cameron vetoed changes to the EU treaty in 2011 – is reportedly planning to move to London to set up a £800million investment fund.

The 57-year-old, who was ousted from office last June, has amassed a fortune from £150,000-an-hour public speaking engagements and is now said to be trying to raise capital from investors.

Joe Biden.

“We know that there is no silver bullet,” to stop gun violence, Biden said, ahead of a Friday meeting with video game manufacturers and retailers. He did not elaborate further.

The gift that keeps on giving. If any of the primetime TV shows were as entertaining as Joe Biden, their ratings wouldn’t be in the toilet.

Check it out.

Democrats talk a good fight about ‘diversity’, but don’t practice it much.

Read it.

In November, Chicago voters re-elected a legally insane judge charged with a crime of violence. “The Cook County Democratic Party supported her” in her re-election bid. The day after Judge Cynthia Brim “won re-election to the Cook County Circuit Court” with 63.5 percent of the vote, she “showed up in court — not as a judge, but as a defendant in a battery case.”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that….

Steve Sailer looks at the daily lives of female Crustians who, against their innate inclinations, decide to reproduce.

A reader commends to me the discussion site UrbanBaby.com for the displaying the id of upper crust white new mothers and mothers-to-be as they confront realities associated with reproduction, causing them to think inappropriate thoughts.

Which devolves into

 Anyway, I’ve always wanted to turn this discussion around and discuss how non-criminal black males signal to white people on the street that they aren’t violent. A lot of white people would probably like to stereotype more accurately, but our society makes almost zero effort to educate well-intentioned whites in how to do it.

A useful skill. And the bottom line is

 On the whole, it’s good for Mexicans that white people don’t find them cool.

And you can’t say any fairer than that.

Read it.

Because God forbid that kids who have seen their classmates and teachers gunned down by an armed psychopath should be allowed the opportunity to practice dealing with armed psychopaths and maybe learn something that will keep them alive the next time.

Read it.

A convicted killer who got caught because he’d tattooed a graphic mural of the murder scene on his chest raked in more than $30,000 in unemployment benefits while he sat in the Los Angeles County jail system, a sheriff’s spokesman said.

Anthony Garcia, 26, had family and friends cashing his $1,600-per-month checks while he served time, said Capt. Mike Parker, spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. His accomplices would then deposit a portion of the money into Garcia’s jail account. They also shared the cash with Garcia’s fellow incarcerated gang members.

No wonder people are moving to Texas.

Read it.

The amendment — intended satirically, one should hasten to add –”passed with a unanimous Senate vote” but was removed from its bill before consideration by the state house and never became law.

Shucks.

Read it.

A new report in China shows that 150,000 Chinese – most of them wealthy – emigrated to other countries in 2011. While that number may not seem high for a country of more than a billion people, the flight of China’s richest – and the offshoring of their fortunes – could cost the country jobs and economic growth, according to the study from the Center for China and Globalization and the Beijing Institute of Technology.

Duh. ‘Let’s see – I’ve got pots of money. Should I stay in a Communist country? Or go to a free country?’

Read it.

Some things never change.

After one of the imagined helicopter landings, when a clumsy recruit dropped his rifle, the sergeant walked up to him and simply held out his fist, against which the recruit proceeded to bang his head.

Read it.

Well, actually, they are. Like similar posturing on the left, with the Occupy Whatever crowd, this is receiving a lot more attention than it deserves. There is a greater chance of the Mayan end-of-the-world scenario actually happening than this one.

The White House has received petitions from all 50 states – signed by nearly 750,000 citizens asking permission to secede from the United States. A White House spokesman did not return calls seeking comment.

Going to show that there are silly people everywhere. But we knew that.

UPDATE: More silliness from Slate.

My home state is an odds-on favorite to stick it to the federal man in a secession battle in part because it’s been spoiling for such a fight since Reconstruction. But it’s not just the state’s vaunted independent streak that gives it a leg up: Thanks to a strange quirk of its original annexation agreement, Texas may actually be in a slightly better position than any of the other 49 states to back up its tough-guy talk.

This myth pops up every time ‘native Texans’ get together. The status of Texas within the United States is not governed by the original annexation agreements but by the Act that readmitted Texas to the Union in 1870, which puts it on the same footing as every other state. I suppose that it should surprise anyone that a ‘journalist’ would get this wrong; pretty much everyone else does.

Read it.

Last week, we warned of the impending “Million Puppet March,” a pro-public-broadcasting and anti-Mitt Romney demonstration whose goal “is to preserve the inalienable right of Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Ira Glass, and other folks to receive federal subsidies that are simultaneously so small as to be meaningless and so vast as to be irreplaceable.”

The protest happened yesterday and drew “hundred” of folks, many clad in Sesame Street-themed garb. The semi-inspired chant, “El-Mo, We Won’t Go!” rang through the air. “We’re just making it clear that public media matters and it’s something that we want to see supported and we still want to see federal funding of,” said one of the organizers.

Read it.

You can find anything on the Internet. Sometimes that’s a good thing, sometimes not so much.

Read it.

My, what a surprise! Aren’t you surprised? I’m sure surprised.

I prefer the traditional term FNG.

Undoubtedly, the school will now call for the city name to be changed, since Chapel Hill sounds too Christian.

No doubt that’s the next step.

Read it.

 Maneesh Sethi placed an advert on the classified website Craigslist to recruit someone willing to monitor what he was looking at on his laptop.

The computer expert and writer, from San Francisco, now pays a female employee $8 (£5) an hour to strike him in the face if she spots him wasting time on social media.

Mr Seethi claims the unusual motivational system has helped him boost his productivity from just 35 per cent to around 98 per cent during the working day.

I suspect that he has larger issues than ‘productivity’.

Read it. And watch the video … if you dare.

Hey, tenure doesn’t grow on trees.

But ya gotta love Australians.

Read it.

Under pressure from the Education Department, which investigated it over “racial disparities” and “disparate impact,” the Oakland, California, school system has agreed to impose “targeted reductions in the overall use of student suspensions; suspensions for African American students, Latino students, and students receiving special education services; and African American students suspended for defiance.” See Agreement to Resolve Oakland Unified School District, OCR Case No. 09125001, page 14, Section VIII(c)(iii). These “targeted reductions” are racial quotas in all but name. (“Disparate impact” is when a process affects one racial group more than another, despite having no racist motive, such as when whites have higher average scores than minorities on a standardized test.)

Welcome to our modern, race-blind society, where the content of your character is directly correlated to the color of your skin, by government decree. Be careful not to step in the diversity.

Read it.

 A set of “master keys” to the infrastructure of New York City popped up on eBay last month, leaving many public commentators and city officials alike concerned for the safety of the metropolis.

The thing I find amusing is that the blog post (echoing the newspaper article) published a convenient photograph showing the keys and a legend describing what they do.

Wouldn’t it be fun to make a set for yourself? The two Yale keys appear to be standard models. From the published specs and the photograph it wouldn’t be at all difficult to create a set with the proper measurements from metal stock using appropriate tools (utter the magic work ‘Dremel’….).

I wonder whether any of this occurred to the person who wrote the blog post? Or the newspaper article?

Read it.

Let that be a lesson to us all.

Read it.

1. The economy is in the toilet, and the Democrats are repeatedly pulling the flush lever.

2. Our civilization faces an existential threat (as it has for the last 1400 years) from an aggressively expansionist oppressive totalitarian ideology masquerading as a religion, and our government is treating it as if it were a skin rash.

3. Our political system is so arranged that the surest way to get elected is to be more narcissistic and corrupt than your opponent.

What is the chief focus of the Libertarian Presidential candidate? The ‘war on weed’ — as if there were people out there who will certainly die unless they are allowed to smoke cannabis.

Tom Clancy once said that the reason truth is stranger than fiction is because fiction has to be believable.

Read it.

 Parents have been banned from watching their children compete at sports unless they have been vetted by police.

1. Thank God you don’t live in Britain.
2. Without eternal vigilance, it could happen here. Probably in California.

Read it.

I am not making this up.

I have this image of a stuffed penguin with an eye-patch and a parrot perched on his head….

Read it.

Silver Lake takes the top spot on Forbes’ inaugural list of America’s Best Hipster Neighborhoods. Nestled between Echo Park and Los Feliz, the trendy community boasts some of the nation’s most lauded food trucks and farmers markets, a multicultural blend of residents with eclectic professions, and a booming arts scene. Even the buildings exude an avant garde aesthetic a hipster could love: Silver Lake is home to some of the most celebrated modernist architecture in the country, including Richard Neutra’s VDL Research House and John Lautner’s Silvertop.

Now go wash your hands.

Check it out.

Granted, not as cool as a billion dollars, but still pretty cool.

Read it.

There was an unusual event in Haifa the other day. Muhammad Sharif Odeh, the leader of the Israeli community of the Ahmadiyya sect of Islam, announced the 25th anniversary of an Ahmadiyya-sponsored translation into Yiddish of selections from the Quran. Called by Haifa’s Jewish mayor, Yona Yahav, the “Reform Jews of Islam,” the Ahmadiyyas, who claim tens of millions of followers around the world, are among the most moderate of Muslims. Their Yiddish Quran project, the only one of its kind, represents a reaching out to Jews — a touchingly naive one, it must be said, since just about the only native Yiddish speakers left are Haredim, who are about as likely to read the Quran as they are to replace their black hats with Arab keffiyehs. (And who could, in any case, read the Quran in the full Hebrew translations that already exist.)

Read it.

 Paul and Rachel Chandler have set sail to restart their interrupted tour around the world aboard the same boat on which they were kidnapped by Somali pirates.

Some people just can’t take a hint.

Steve Sailer sometimes likes to point and laugh.

 Matthew Yglesias points out that the top 12 executives are all white men at Apple (which, in less than a decade and a half, has gone from down-and-out to the world’s highest stock market valuation). He goes on to suggest how to begin fixing Apple’s problem.

Thank God I sold all my Apple stock in 1999 and used the money to buy Hewlett-Packard stock because HP had appointed Carly Fiorina CEO. As we all know, white men cannot begin to grasp the diverse needs of women and people of color, so how can they sell them computers?

And he’s not very shy about it, either.

Read it.

The only open question is whether they will be forced to join the SEIU first — one must, after all, follow tradition.

Read it.

Hunter Spanjer uses the standard S.E.E., Signing Exact English. He crosses his index and middle fingers and waves them slightly to signify his name. And, Grand Island Public Schools’ policy forbids any “instrument” that “looks like a weapon,” reported NCN (see video above).

Stupid rules enforced by stupid people = extremely stupid results.

Mommas, don’t send your babies to government schools.