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And why not?

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Coming soon: Breaking Bad, Salon Edition.

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You might look at my Caucasian features and wonder why I am claiming to be an African American.  I may not be a natural descendent of African American lineage, but I feel black and have thus decided to identify as African American. Since I identify as African American, I am African American, and you must accept me as such. Because I claim my identity as an African American, I demand that the law recognize me as such and afford me all the rights and obligations of that ethnicity.

You may think that my decision to claim an African American identity is ridiculous. You would be right. Ethnicity is determined by ancestry and genetic lineage, not by someone’s identified perceptions and “feelings.” But it’s no more ridiculous than the latest craze from the left concerning something they call “gender identity.”

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 Practitioners of parkour, a daring pastime born in the streets, have long seen public spaces as their playground, and parkour as the ultimate rebel’s game, one with no rules, league, equipment or winners. It started in France (the name is derived from the French word for “course”) and has spread around the world: Gaza, Tokyo, Rome and Miami are parkour towns.

One thread binds them all: parkour takes place outdoors. Bringing it inside, purists argue, would be like asking swimmers to perfect the breaststroke on grass.

But now, parkour has grown up, traded the pavement for padding and turned into a big business.

Parkour gyms have opened across the country, from Los Angeles to Rochester, featuring juice bars, private classes and children’s birthday parties that cost $450 (cake not included). Specialized apparel companies sell tailored gloves for $34.50 and shoes for $60. An international organization offers special parkour insurance policies and charges $295 for teacher certification courses.

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A student at Logan College of Chiropractic/University Programs recently learned that her emergency Cesarean section didn’t qualify as a valid excuse for missing class.

But I’ll bet that pain in her lower back is much better.

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GSU is 38 percent white, 35 percent black, 12 percent Asian and 7 percent Latino.

Sharp hails from Birmingham, Alabama, and says that the White Student Union is happy to work with the Black Student Alliance on issues of common importance. “If we are already minorities on campus and are soon to be minorities in this country why wouldn’t we have the right to advocate for ourselves and have a club just like every other minority?” asked Sharp. “Why is it when a white person says he is proud to be white he’s shunned as a racist?

Because that’s the Narrative. Go against the Narrative and they’ll crush you like a bug.

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The obvious answer to that question is no.

The issue: Student loan debt.

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Although America’s arguably most liberal Protestant denomination and consequently likely fastest declining, the United Church of Christ is not very concerned about evangelism. Instead, the UCC, or at least its elites, is always searching for a new leftist cause to animate the true believers in progressive religion. At their recent General Synod, the distant descendants of the Pilgrim Fathers targeted the Devil’s great tool for subverting the planet: fossil fuels.

Oh, no! Fossil fuels!

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Some brief background is probably in order. See, apparently there’s something of a trend in Thailand for taking well-known cultural icons and changing their images just enough to represent history’s most dasterdly megalomaniac. As a result, you’ll get teletubbies with Hitler’s face on them, or a cute little panda with a toothbrush mustache and a glare that says, “Those bamboo stalks better not be Jewish.” And the latest victim of this Hitler-ization is of the KFC spokesman.

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With Hollywood involved, how could it be otherwise?

Matt Yglesias wonders why Superman is wasting his time by saving peoples lives instead of submitting to being used as a giant solar power cell, or something….

Yeah, I wonder that, too.

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Bill Ayers, the former University of Illinois professor and former member of the Weather Underground, has said that Obama should be put on trial for war crimes. However, Ayers insists that he still likes Obama on a personal level.

‘Ze Fuehrer was a better dancer than Churchill, he told funnier jokes….’

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What a great idea!

Hey, I ‘identify’ as a Congressman! Does that mean I can use their gym and barber shop?

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A new blog analyzing the first Star Wars movie (Episode IV) minute by agonizing minute.

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Chunks of prawn cracker are flying through the air, next comes an ominous crash. It’s not the best start, but this, I am told, is the latest innovation in food delivery – service by drone.

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Soon to be a for-credit college course.

A year ago, Duke Cheston of the Pope Center criticized a class in political science at North Carolina State University. Because its presentation of the American political system was clearly biased, his story was titled “Evil Republicans 101.” Now we have come across another section of the same course taught by a different instructor. It, too, is riddled with one-sided education about the American government. Because of its focus on class divisions, it might be called “What Can We Do to Level Incomes and Restore the Progressive Agenda?”

My, what a surprise! Aren’t you surprised? I’m sure surprised.

The class was an online section of Political Science 201, American Politics and Government, one of nine sections taught this spring. The course is the basic introductory class for potential political science majors, although it also serves as a general education course.

Professor David Garson, the instructor, is not actually in the political science department. He is a full professor of public administration who has received a number of distinguished awards from his peers. The student who brought this online class to our attention praised him for answering questions promptly, although the student also noted that otherwise the professor did not take an active role. There were no lectures, and he rarely intervened in the online discussions.

Of course, the major way in which modern academia is ‘fighting the rich’ is by loading their students with so much debt that they’ll never have that burden.

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… a Florida man named Scott Simon just happened to butt dial 911 at the very moment he was discussing plans to kill someone — plans he followed through on moments later. It did not take long for the police to put two and two together and arrest Simon — though, they’re still looking for others who were with him.

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Brussels-funded boffins say they have hit upon a brilliant method of creating “enriched” ice-cream, fortified with “disused” animal products which are normally thrown away by the meat industry as being unfit for human consumption.

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I am not making this up.

If you want to boycott rich liberals, however, that’s not an option — they own the government, and you can’t boycott the government.

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Remind me why we have United Nations….

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The parking brake has its limits.

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As a way to improve the gene pool, I suspect that this scheme can’t be beat. I’ll be happy to chip in.

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As the Pixar-centric site Pixartimes.com reports, the studio behind such beloved movies as Toy Story 3 have long made it known that they’re working on a film related to the Latin American holiday Día de Los Muertos—or, Day of the Dead. On May 6, Stitch Kingdom reported that Disney had filed applications to trademark the phrase “Día de Los Muertos,” which some speculated would be movie’s title. The trademark would have covered snacks, audio recordings, jewelry, cosmetics, key chains and lots of other potential merchandise related to the film. It was a move that raised the ire of many who found distasteful the idea of a major media company trying to establish “ownership” of an important cultural event.

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Tony Bandermann was at work when he got the call. His son, Braden, was on a camping trip sponsored by California’s Garden Gate Elementary School when teachers discovered he had brought a small Swiss Army knife. Officials had suspended the boy for a day, and they wanted Bandermann to drive 100 miles, pick him up and then bring him back when the suspension was over. Bandermann refused, telling them they were overreacting. So teachers made the boy serve the suspension at the camp, isolating him from the other students, making him eat his meals by himself and not allowing him to take part in any activities for one day.

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A North Carolina Eagle Scout who was expelled and arrested for accidentally leaving a shotgun in his pickup truck in the school parking lot has been offered a scholarship to attend Liberty University.

Cole Withrow was just a few weeks from graduating with honors from Princeton High School when he was arrested on Monday and slapped with a felony weapons charge. Withrow had been skeet shooting with friends a day before and had only noticed he had left his shotgun in his truck as he reached to grab his book bag.

When he realized his mistake, he went to the front office and called his mother. An administrator overheard the conversation and called police.

That administrator needs to be taken out back and have the snot beaten out of him.

Meet the Greenest Home in America

In the surrounding hills of Silicon Valley stands the impressive Tah.Mah.Lah, the “Greenest house in America.” The home is also the brainchild and abode of Foundation Capital partner and longtime VC Paul Holland and his wife, Linda Yates. We were lucky enough to be invited into their home to hear about why and how they built the most sustainable home in the country.

There’s that work ‘sustainable’ again.

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As I’m sure we all have.

Some people just have too much time on their hands.

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Distant family members of King Richard III, whose body was unearthed in a council car park, are set to challenge plans to bury the monarch – claiming they are a breach of human rights.

This is how far our culture has degenerated. Feel free to weep.

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It’s not just for bridges any more.

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Grand Valley State University, a large public school in western Michigan, has been justly renowned as an NCAA Division II football powerhouse. Now, though, Grand Valley State will also be known as the school that settled for $40,000 after a student sued because she was banned from carrying around a pet guinea pig.

The student, 28-year-old Kendra Velzen, suffers from chronic depression and has a pacemaker, as MLive.com reports. According to her lawyer, the guinea pig supplies “emotional support and attachment (reducing symptoms of depression), and physiological and psychological benefits.”

If teachers and administrators at public schools seem to have their heads up their asses these days, dealing with crap like this might just be one of the reasons.

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Just in case you were wondering. I know I was.

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Prince Alwaleed bin Talal of Saudi Arabia has publicly severed ties with Forbes magazine and its annual billionaires’ list after the magazine estimated his worth at $20 billion. The prince insists he’s worth a lot more, according to the Independent.

The nephew of the current Saudi monarch, King Abdullah, is currently ranked No. 26 on Forbes’ 27th annual billionaires’ list.  But the Prince, whose Kingdom Holding Co. has investments in everything from Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. to Citigroup, put his own wealth at $29.6 billion – nearly $10 billion higher than Forbes’ estimate, the Independent reported.

Guess he hasn’t heard about how income inequality is such a problem. Or maybe he realizes that worrying about it is a First World fetish that he need not respect.

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Hundreds of pom-poms and knitted items have been strung from trees and lampposts to help reduce the fear of crime in an area of Leicester.

Why, of course! Why didn’t we think of that?

Ms Bilby, a senior lecturer in criminology at Northumbria University, said: “I think that making an area look cosier certainly makes an area feel safer.

Not be safer, you understand, but feel safer. Feeling is far more important than being in this degenerate modern age.

They were made by schools and community groups including the Knitting Guerillas of Birstall.

Truly, you cannot make this shit up.

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And then there are the stories you read that go beyond our usual category of mere ineptitude.  Such as the Tabernacle Baptist Church in St. Louis that wants to fight gun violence by holding . . . a toy gun buyback.  Just a hunch here: I’ll bet they don’t sing “Onward Christian Soldiers” in that congregation.

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Gay students claimed that they even felt threatened by the mere sight of students and faculty carrying bags with the Chick-fil-A logo on them.

Poor babies.

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Next step: Mayor Bloomberg does the same for New York City.

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Some people just have entirely too much time on their hands.

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Among Derocher’s scenarios is using helicopters to airdrop food on polar bears as their icy habitat continues to melt — at a cost of $32,000 per day for the “most accessible” bears. (The hope is that such interventions would last days per year, not months).

“It’s a lot better to have some animals in the wild even if they are being supplemented in their food. If we were basically the sole food source for these animals, then we’re going to have some very serious issues. Then it won’t really be a polar bear anymore,” Derocher said on the phone. “It will be a semi-wild, semi-captive, free-ranging carnivore. And it probably wouldn’t do that well even if the ice started to come back” since the bear would become so dependent on the airlifted food that he may forget how to hunt.

(Sigh). It’s really come to this.

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Although parents worked with the Fairfax County Public Schools facilities department, purchased the equipment, hired a contractor and had the playground ready for recess, the school system suddenly deemed the play equipment too dangerous. Since Nov. 30 it has been off-limits, parents say.

Never mind that the same equipment is installed at more than 1,200 parks and schools across the country, including a public park in the county.

Your tax dollars at work. Hey, let’s put people like this in charge of our health care.

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I got yer culture, right here.

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Former president Nicolas Sarkozy could become the next wealthy Frenchman to flee to Britain over his country’s looming tax hikes on the rich.

Mr Sarkozy – who famously snubbed the Prime Minister’s attempt to shake his hand after Mr Cameron vetoed changes to the EU treaty in 2011 – is reportedly planning to move to London to set up a £800million investment fund.

The 57-year-old, who was ousted from office last June, has amassed a fortune from £150,000-an-hour public speaking engagements and is now said to be trying to raise capital from investors.

Joe Biden.

“We know that there is no silver bullet,” to stop gun violence, Biden said, ahead of a Friday meeting with video game manufacturers and retailers. He did not elaborate further.

The gift that keeps on giving. If any of the primetime TV shows were as entertaining as Joe Biden, their ratings wouldn’t be in the toilet.

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Democrats talk a good fight about ‘diversity’, but don’t practice it much.

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In November, Chicago voters re-elected a legally insane judge charged with a crime of violence. “The Cook County Democratic Party supported her” in her re-election bid. The day after Judge Cynthia Brim “won re-election to the Cook County Circuit Court” with 63.5 percent of the vote, she “showed up in court — not as a judge, but as a defendant in a battery case.”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that….

Steve Sailer looks at the daily lives of female Crustians who, against their innate inclinations, decide to reproduce.

A reader commends to me the discussion site UrbanBaby.com for the displaying the id of upper crust white new mothers and mothers-to-be as they confront realities associated with reproduction, causing them to think inappropriate thoughts.

Which devolves into

 Anyway, I’ve always wanted to turn this discussion around and discuss how non-criminal black males signal to white people on the street that they aren’t violent. A lot of white people would probably like to stereotype more accurately, but our society makes almost zero effort to educate well-intentioned whites in how to do it.

A useful skill. And the bottom line is

 On the whole, it’s good for Mexicans that white people don’t find them cool.

And you can’t say any fairer than that.

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Because God forbid that kids who have seen their classmates and teachers gunned down by an armed psychopath should be allowed the opportunity to practice dealing with armed psychopaths and maybe learn something that will keep them alive the next time.

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A convicted killer who got caught because he’d tattooed a graphic mural of the murder scene on his chest raked in more than $30,000 in unemployment benefits while he sat in the Los Angeles County jail system, a sheriff’s spokesman said.

Anthony Garcia, 26, had family and friends cashing his $1,600-per-month checks while he served time, said Capt. Mike Parker, spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department. His accomplices would then deposit a portion of the money into Garcia’s jail account. They also shared the cash with Garcia’s fellow incarcerated gang members.

No wonder people are moving to Texas.

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The amendment — intended satirically, one should hasten to add –”passed with a unanimous Senate vote” but was removed from its bill before consideration by the state house and never became law.

Shucks.

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A new report in China shows that 150,000 Chinese – most of them wealthy – emigrated to other countries in 2011. While that number may not seem high for a country of more than a billion people, the flight of China’s richest – and the offshoring of their fortunes – could cost the country jobs and economic growth, according to the study from the Center for China and Globalization and the Beijing Institute of Technology.

Duh. ‘Let’s see – I’ve got pots of money. Should I stay in a Communist country? Or go to a free country?’

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Some things never change.

After one of the imagined helicopter landings, when a clumsy recruit dropped his rifle, the sergeant walked up to him and simply held out his fist, against which the recruit proceeded to bang his head.