DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Archive for the 'You can’t make this stuff up.' Category

Hong Kong Tourist Plunges 1,000 Feet to His Death at Grand Canyon

29th March 2019

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The man in his 50s was taking photos when he stumbled and fell, Leibowitz said. Signs at Eagle Point warn tourists not to get too close to the edge.

Think of it as evolution in action.

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Stacey Abrams Says She’s ‘Just as Capable of Becoming the President’ as Any Other Candidate

27th March 2019

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Actually, being a fat ugly black woman, she’s overqualified in terms of Victim Points to be the Democrat nominee.

President, not so much….

UPDATE: Eager CBS Hosts: Run Stacey Abrams, Run!

I second that emotion.

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Hipster Whines at Tech Mag for Using His Pic to Imply Hipsters Look the Same, Discovers Pic Was of an Entirely Different Hipster

6th March 2019

The Register doesn’t have a lot of time for fools.

For those who don’t know what hipsters look like, the hair is short-back-and-sides with the hair on top piled high and combed straight back,  beard like George V. Look at any British football player (Beckhan will do) for an illustration. Or just Google ‘hipster’ and look at Images.

Joe Scarborough is transitioning into the look as he segues into the fashionable Left.

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‘Birthstrikers’ Fear Global Warming So Much They Are Refusing to Have Kids

4th March 2019

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And that’s a good thing — we don’t want these people reproducing.

Think of it as evolution in action.

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Five-Year-Old Girl Mauled in Face by Emotional Support Pitbull at Airport, Mother Says

2nd March 2019

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‘Emotional support pitbull’?

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‘Bridezilla’ Demands All Wedding Guests Commit to Permanent Vegan Lifestyle

27th February 2019

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Wish I’d thought of that — it would have kept the crowd at my wedding down quite a bit.

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Chinese Airline to Sue Passenger Who Threw Coins Into Plane Engine for Good Luck, Grounding Flight

25th February 2019

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Chinese do many strange things for ‘good luck’. This is just one of them.

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Kim, Khloe and Kylie Trademark Kids’ Names

18th February 2019

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This, this is the world that we live in.

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CNN: Clothes Shoppers For the Rich and Famous

16th February 2019

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In 2016, a popular meme featured a photo of admiring reporters on an airplane and the text, something like “Find someone who looks at you the way reporters look at Hillary Clinton.”

In 2016, Hillary was the candidate of the liberal press. Who will be the anointed candidate next year? Kamala Harris is a good bet. She features Hillary’s leftist politics along with a “minority” look, probably a requirement in the next Democratic nominee. She is also considerably better looking than Hillary.

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Bill Gates Warns of the Dangers of Cow Farts — and the World Should Take His Words Seriously

13th February 2019

Business Insider, despite its name, is a Voice of the Crust about two notches above the Estrogen Post and a bit below CNN in credibility.

Agriculture is another gas-producing culprit. Despite the pastoral image of cows grazing on rolling green hills, Gates noted that cattle “give off methane when they belch and pass gas.”

“A personal surprise for me: I never thought I’d be writing seriously about bovine flatulence,” he added.

Writing? Maybe. Seriously? Doubt it.

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Book Your Flight: Canada’s International Hair Freezing Competition Is Here

10th February 2019

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I think this is why Canada has strict gun control laws.

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Man Plans to Sue Parents for Giving Birth to Him Without His Consent

7th February 2019

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I  am not making this up.

They ought to hire a hit man to whack him. Obviously he was defective.

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‘Green New Deal’ Looks to Tackle the Scourge of ‘Farting Cows’

7th February 2019

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Hey — this is a serious issue….

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Mary Poppins Is Branded Racist by US Academic Over Famous Rooftop Scene Because When She Gets Covered in Soot She ‘Gamely Powders Her Nose and Cheeks and Gets Even Blacker’

3rd February 2019

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But writing in the New York Times under the headline ‘Mary Poppins, and a Nanny’s Shameful Flirting With Blackface,’ Professor Daniel Pollack-Pelzner attacks the scene. Not surprisingly, the film’s legions of devoted fans have reacted with disbelief.

Insane. Just … insane. Insane that he would write it, and insane that the Times would publish it.

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Google Employees Call Term ‘Family’ ‘Deeply Homophobic’

30th January 2019

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I would encourage all Google employees not to engage in family formation. And for God’s sake avoid having children.

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The World’s First Smart Toilet for Dogs Has Arrived

29th January 2019

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I know how eagerly we all were waiting.

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Slack’s New Logo Is a Penis Swastika

18th January 2019

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To a proglodyte, everything looks like a Nazi.

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Exclusive: How the Word ‘Family’ Triggered a Meltdown at Google

17th January 2019

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A Google executive sparked a fierce backlash from employees by using the word “family” in a weekly, company-wide presentation, according to internal documents obtained by The Daily Caller News Foundation.

Many Google employees became angry that the term was used while discussing a product aimed at children, because it implied that families have children, the documents show. The backlash grew large enough that a Google vice president addressed the controversy and solicited feedback on how the company could become more inclusive.

Sometimes I wonder how anybody at Google ever gets any work done.

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A World Without Norms: The Influence of Judith Butler’s ‘Gender Trouble’

17th January 2019

The Other McCain follows this stuff so you don’t have to.

Much of the current conflict within feminism over the issue of transgenderism can be traced directly to Professor Butler’s book and its pervasive influence in the so-called Third Wave of feminism. Feminist critics of transgender ideology generally align themselves with the “Second Wave” (i.e., the radical Women’s Liberation Movement of the late 1960s and ’70s), rejecting the claims of those who, following Professor Butler’s argument, assert that the category of “women” does not provide a definite subject for feminist theory because the meaning of “woman” is socially constructed. Professor Butler’s theory reflects the influence of French postmodernist philosophy, particularly Michel Foucault. Critics of Professor Butler are expected not to call attention to the fact that Foucault was a gay pedophile (or, at least, a defender of pedophilia) who died of AIDS in 1984, in the same way that we are expected to ignore that Gayle Rubin, another of Professor Butler’s key sources, praised NAMBLA and is an advocate of homosexual BDSM.

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UK: Driver Caught Speeding Blames Theresa May’s Crushing Brexit Defeat

16th January 2019

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See? Britain has morons, too.

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Burberry’s Christopher Bailey to Receive CBE for Services to Fashion

31st December 2018

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‘Services to fashion’? This rates an official government honor?

No wonder Britain is having problems.

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Transgender Woman Threatens to ‘Take It Outside’ When GameStop Employee Uses the Word ‘Sir’

29th December 2018

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It will scratch your eyes out.

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Men Who Identify as Women Will Be Able to Attend This All-Female College, But It Doesn’t Go the Other Way Around

28th December 2018

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Stephens College in Columbia, Missouri, updated its admissions policy to open it to students not born as girls, “but identify or live as women” as long as there is legal proof that the man is transitioning over to become a woman or is legally a woman. Those identifying as neither male nor female, known as binary students, will also be eligible to apply, according to the college’s revised admissions policy.

They probably have all the lesbians they need.

 

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Student Forced to Remove ‘F*** Nazis’ Sign Because College Claims It Was ‘Not Inclusive’

24th December 2018

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Are they serious? I doubt it. But it makes a great excuse and an excellent ‘teachable moment’.

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Gun Controllers Indoctrinate Kids With Toy Gun Turn-In

24th December 2018

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On December 13, the Village of Hempstead, N.Y. hosted the Long Island Toy Gun Exchange Program, modelled after so-called gun “buybacks” that target real firearms. According to a report from local newspaper Newsday, each child received one politically correct toy in exchange “for whatever water pistols, Nerf guns and other toy guns they turn[ed] in.”

The toys for the turn-in were supplied by local businessman Sean Acosta, who made clear that the program is intended to influence impressionable children against firearm ownership at a young age, with the goal of shifting American public opinion against guns. As reported in the Newsday article,

“It has to start at a young age,” Acosta says of changing gun culture. “If we can get them to say, ‘It’s not cool to carry these toy guns,’ then maybe when they get older, they won’t ever carry a real gun.”

It would be amusing if someone were to shoot him. With a toy gun, of course.

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The Wizard of Oz Is a Grotesque Predictor of Trump’s America

15th December 2018

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The Guardian, Britains Voice of the LeftCrust, is a publication that appears specifically devoted to providing an outlet for people who in a rightly-ordered society would be subject to compulsory psychiatric treatment.

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Protesters Dance From WH to Stephen Miller’s House to Show Solidarity With Migrants

15th December 2018

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The obvious question is: Exactly how does this help migrants? How does it advance whatever agenda these people are pushing? What is it about dance, specifically, that relates to immigration?

The obvious answer is that it’s totally irrelevant — but that’s not the point. The point is that these people have very little scope for virtue-signaling, but their need for virtue-signaling is so compulsive that whatever they actually can do (in this case dance) they do in the hope that it will be credited to them for righteousness. It’s not about helping migrants, it’s about doing something that will allow them to feel good about themselves.

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Jenny McCarthy Says Barbara Walters Asked Her to ‘Act Republican’ on ‘The View’

13th December 2018

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“When I was on there it was hilarious because they initially had me come on because they wanted me to be the pop culture girl,” the 46-year-old actress explained during her recent appearance on “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen” aftershow.

Her boobs are very Republican — they are self-supporting.

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UK: Is Veganism a Religion? An Employment Tribunal Is Having to Decide

3rd December 2018

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A man taking the League Against Cruel Sports to an employment tribunal claiming ethical veganism is akin to a religion? It probably had Britain’s sizeable corps of Mr Angrys spluttering into their cornflakes.

Jordi Casamitjana, the vegan in question, says he was dismissed after disclosing the League invested its pension funds in firms involved in animal testing. He claims his treatment amounts to discrimination because of his passionate vegan beliefs.

Vegans certainly act as if it were a religion.

UPDATE: The fired League Against Cruel Sports employee is right – veganism should be protected in the same way as religion

UPDATE: UK Man Claims Veganism Is A Religion, Sues Former Employer

A U.K. man claimed that “ethical veganism” is a religion in a lawsuit against his former employer over his termination for objecting to animal testing.

It may be a philosophy but it isn’t a religion, although they surely act as if it were.

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Companionable Capybaras

30th November 2018

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Be the first on your block to own one of this year’s fashionable rodent.

I am not making this up.

The Atlantic is not what it was.

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Laura Loomer Chains Herself to Twitter’s NYC Offices in Protest of ‘Egregious Double Standard’

29th November 2018

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Conservative journalist Laura Loomer chained herself to the front door of Twitter’s New York City offices Thursday morning.

It’s getting crazy out there.

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Field of Dreams: Heartbreak and Heroics at the World Ploughing Championships

25th November 2018

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I’ll bet you didn’t know there was such a thing as Competitive Ploughing, did you?

The top flight of international ploughing is a limited pool….

I’ll bet it is.

Of course, they use machines — I’d like to give them two oxen and a moldboard and see what they can do.

I wonder if there’s such a thing as Competitive Floor Waxing….

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Michigan College Cancels ‘The Vagina Monologues’ Because ‘Not All Women Have Vaginas’

20th November 2018

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Blue states like Michigan are more and more a reality-free environment.

My Brother The Socialist lives in Ypsilanti. I can see why.

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The Revolution Devours Its Own: Ocasio-Cortez Joins Protest at Nancy Pelosi’s Office to Demand a ‘Green New Deal’

13th November 2018

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I find that highly entertaining.

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Former Navy SEAL Offers Parenting Tips, New Book to Help Kids Overcome Fear

13th November 2018

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How desperate must you be to look for parenting advice from a Navy SEAL?

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Avenatti May Sue Tucker Carlson for Defending His Own Daughter

12th November 2018

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Creepy Porn Lawyer Michael Avenatti is representing a person trying to sue Fox News Anchor Tucker Carlson over a restaurant incident a month ago when Carlson’s daughter was allegedly harassed by Aventatti’s client Juan Granados.

Carlson claims his daughter was called a “whore” and a “cunt” by Avenatti’s client, who is a gay Latino and a LGBTQ activist. Avenatti is claiming Carlson attacked the man and told him to “go back where he came from.” The country club has revoked Granados’s membership.

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Trump Baby Balloon Flies in Paris for US President’s Remembrance Day Visit

11th November 2018

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Arrested adolescence is international.

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Why Hipsters Could Be Seen as Modern-Day Colonisers

10th November 2018

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Hipsters exhibit a nostalgia for the past that echoes right-leaning political movements around the world.

Apparently, to a properly ‘woke’ person, hipsterism is a right-wing phenomenon.

Who knew?

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Meet Mimycri: the Berlin Project Where Migrants Make Refugee Boats Into Bags

7th November 2018

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Just when you think you’ve seen the most ridiculous thing ever, they surprise you.

Just as the people who got richest from a gold rush were those who supplied the poor schmucks panning for gold, in the modern world those who make the most money are those who create the tools for virtue-signaling.

Barnum was right, there’s one born every minute.

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The Reddit Forum That Guesses Who You Are Based on What’s in Your Fridge

6th November 2018

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There are more than a million discussion forums on Reddit, and if you can’t find what you’re looking for in any of those—well, there’s a forum for that, too. Two weeks ago, a user named WeHaveAllBeenThere went to the “Find a Reddit” group in search of a place “where you post a picture of the inside of your refrigerator and people guess how old you are or what your job is.” Within an hour, someone had created a subreddit called Fridge Detective, and in the thirteen days since twelve thousand more sleuths have signed on to examine, in minute detail, the interiors of one another’s refrigerators. Like a party guest poking around in the host’s medicine cabinet, or a magazine throwing back the doors on a celebrity shoe closet, the icebox snoops hunt for clues in patterns of consumption. Crisper drawers bursting with a rainbow of produce? Neatly marshalled rows of bottled water? A half-eaten yogurt, a packet of cheese, fifteen types of mustard, and a single bottle of beer? In these oddly intimate snapshots of place, class, and culture, everything—even nothing—says something.

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The Witch Continues to Enchant as a Feminist Symbol

1st November 2018

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Well, I’m glad we’ve got that settled.

Witches: How will they vote? Democrat or Republican?

Satanists: How will they vote? Democrat or Republican?

People who believe in astrology: How will they vote? Democrat or Republican?

Ponder whether the Democrats are really ‘the party of science’ as they claim.

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Compare and Contrast

21st October 2018

If you’re planning to dress up as a witch this Halloween, think first about the misogynistic history of these characters

Brett Kavanaugh: Witches placed mass hex on Supreme Court Justice during New York protest ritual

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You Can Literally Count On One Hand The Amount Individual Contributors Donated To Tom Steyer’s Green Energy Campaign

17th October 2018

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Individual contributions to Tom Steyer’s renewable energy campaign raised less than five dollars in the last reporting period.

Clean Energy for a Healthy Arizona — a pro-renewable energy organization backed by billionaire activist Tom Steyer — raised a grand total of $4.88 from individual contributions from mid August to the end of September, according to the latest campaign finance report. The lone donor, a resident out of Phoenix, gave nowhere near the amount of Steyer’s environmental group during the same time period.

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Witches Plan to Gather in Brooklyn to Curse Kavanaugh and the Patriarchy

12th October 2018

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So much for the Party of Science.

UPDATE: Party of Science™ Update: Democrats Now Actively Consorting With Satan

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We “refuse to be silent any longer”: Magic as Self-Care After Kavanaugh

10th October 2018

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I venture to say that there are no Republican witches.

Modern Wicca and other New Age traditions in the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s were tied to second-wave feminism. Witchcraft and ritual have become more prominently associated with progressive political causes in recent years with the rise of the contemporary #magicresistance. Last year, for example, a 13,000-strong Facebook group formed to cast regular binding spells on Donald Trump.

But in the aftermath of the bitter fight over Kavanaugh’s confirmation, during which the judge firmly denied sexual misconduct against Ford or other women who came forward with similar allegations, rituals have become more than just an emotionally rewarding part of political energy-raising. They’ve also become a form of self-care.

People who believe that socialism works will believe almost anything.

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Joe Biden Leaves Door Open for Presidential Run in 2020

10th October 2018

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That would be amusing.

Watching Biden, Hillary, Bloomberg, and Bernie fight it out for the nomination would be comedy gold.

 

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Jodie Whittaker Inspires First-Ever Doctor Who Barbie Doll

8th October 2018

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Tardis Barbie?

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Rich White Man Tom Steyer Complains About Rich White Men

8th October 2018

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Well, he ought to know.

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Today in Trump Derangement Syndrome

6th October 2018

Hollywood Melts Down After Sen. Collins Announces She Will Vote For Judge Brett Kavanaugh  I have rarely seen a larger group of women who are in absolutely no danger of being sexually assaulted….

Nine Times The Media Pushed Misinformation About Kavanaugh

2018 Jonathan Chait Prize goes to … Jonathan Chait for “Julie Swetnick’s Allegations Likely to Finish Off Brett Kavanaugh”

The Week in Pictures: Presidential Alert Edition

Ocasio-Cortez Describes Herself As ‘Therapist’ For Her District Because Of ‘Re-Traumatizing’ Trump Policies

Ford’s Attorney Says Her Client Found Trump Mocking Her Testimony ‘Very Hurtful’   I suspect she would find having to choose between Coke and Pepsi very hurtful.

Bill Maher Laments Role Of ‘Crazy’ Social Justice Warriors In Kavanaugh’s Likely Confirmation  As if he weren’t just as crazy.

Sen Markey On Kavanaugh Confirmation: A ‘Constitutional Crisis In The Making’  Uh, sure.

I call Dibs: Russia had something to to with Kavanaugh

 

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Science Study From Hooters: ‘An Ethnography of Breastaurant Masculinity’

6th October 2018

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Hey, tenure doesn’t grow on trees.

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