Archive for the 'You can’t make this stuff up.' Category
30th October 2017
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Ruth Graham, a contributor for the “What Women Really Think” column at Slate, thinks it’s time to ban men from the workplace.
In a recent article, Graham argues that “the experiment of having men in the workplace has failed.”
People actually get paid to write this drivel.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Writer Calls for Every Man on Earth to Lose His Job
26th October 2017
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Two journalists used an Ouija board to try summoning the spirit of Karl Marx Thursday, seeking solace from the alleged horror of capitalism.
The two women, identified as Callie and Sarah, used the Ouija board as part of a Halloween themed Facebook Live video for Broadly, a women’s news publication of Vice that reports “Sex, politics, culture, witchcraft. Women’s news you thought would exist by now.” Sarah and Callie, who have both dabbled in occult practices, used the segment to explore witchcraft and bemoan capitalism, admonishing their viewers that there was still time to “seize the means” and that the spirit of Marx was needed.
I guess Hitler was busy that night.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Hippies Hold Seance to Summon Communist Founder
26th October 2017
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If you meet someone claiming to be a witch, the chances of that person voting Democrat are 100%.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Alt-Left Insanity: Sciency Liberals Actually Believe In Witchcraft, Occult
25th October 2017
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Your tax dollars at work.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Professor: Replace ‘Traditional Science’ With ‘Anti-Science, Antiracist, Feminist Approach’
25th October 2017
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‘On many levels, mathematics itself operates as Whiteness. Who gets credit for doing and developing mathematics, who is capable in mathematics, and who is seen as part of the mathematical community is generally viewed as White’
Yeah, whenever I see a partial derivative or an exponent, I say to myself, ‘That looks pretty white (excuse me, White).’
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Teaching Maths Perpetuates White Privilege, Says University Professor
21st October 2017
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Part of what is going on here is that coastal liberals think that people in places like South Dakota are both dumber than they are, and more prone to violence. Actually, that is the opposite of the truth, in both respects. In South Dakota, where I grew up, most people are familiar with shotguns and rifles, know how to use them, and don’t irrationally freak out if they encounter a few, even at an airport. And the violent crime rate is vanishingly low.
At some point during the day, a reporter from the Sioux Falls Argus Leader, South Dakota’s dominant and liberal newspaper, asked Rich Larson whether he knew that his modest auction booth was all over Twitter. The Argus Leader ran a story headlined: No, firearms weren’t for sale at Sioux Falls Regional Airport on Friday.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on A Liberal Visits South Dakota and Freaks Out at the Sight of Guns
15th October 2017
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Apparently Homecoming is oppressive or something. Who knew?
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Dartmouth College Student Leader Calls For An End To Homecoming Celebrations
10th October 2017
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Life is just one big petting zoo to certain classes of people.
Think of it as evolution in action.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Dumb People In St. Louis Keep Getting Gored Because They Take SELFIES WITH ELK
7th October 2017
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The madness continues.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Gender Neutral Version of French Sparks Backlash
7th October 2017
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Last Saturday the device was an obscure novelty, dismissively regarded in gun circles. The next day it was a prime suspect in the killing of 59 people, and injuring of over 500 more in Las Vegas, Nevada. By midweek, bump stocks were the bullseye of our repetitive shooting match over gun control.
This is like attempting to prevent prostitution by banning high heels.
Predictably, talk of a ban has made bump stocks one of America’s fastest selling gun accessories. “Oh, God, yes, it’s been insane,” one Texas gun store owner told CNN Money. “Since this story has broke, we’ve been getting about 50 people a day asking for them.” Another from Maine said that he had five bump stocks gathering dust for months, before a post-Vegas buying spree saw them all snatched them up.
I hereby christen this the ‘Obama Effect’. Obama’s constant jawing about gun control made his eight years a great time for firearms manufacturers. When people think you’re going to ban something they want, they stock up.
Even with the sudden sales surge, the rarity of the devices raises the question of the real impact of a ban, other than to allow for some bipartisan political posturing. Banning bump stocks is something that can be done without pissing too many people off, placating the crowd that after every shooting in America screams for somebody to do something.
This sort of logic is only questionable outside of politics.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »
6th October 2017
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Hey, it’s still a Hate Crime — after all, facts don’t matter in comparison to Offended Feelings.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on ‘Hate Crime’ at Michigan State University Was Actually Just a Missing Shoelace
6th October 2017
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The Nobel Peace prize has gone from being a prize for achieving peace to being a prize for working toward peace to being a virtue-signaling prize for doing nothing about peace but nevertheless expressing the Crust’s wish that peace would somehow magically arrive without any effort on the part of people in power.
This is how Barack Obama could get it before he had had a chance to do anything other than make Magic Negro speeches, because that’s all that was necessary for virtue-signaling. He so perfectly encapsulated the Crust’s preferred methodology of doing nothing while talking a good fight that it was impossible not to give him the prize, even though it astonished the Dirt People.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Anti-Nuclear Weapons Group Wins Nobel Prize
4th October 2017
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This is from today’s New York Post: “President Obama blasted Republicans as the party of ‘billionaires’ on Tuesday while mingling with high-rollers at the $26 million estate of Rich Richman — yes, that’s his real name — in Greenwich, Connecticut.”
Democrats are used to believing six impossible things before breakfast, so it’s no surprise that they are quite comfortable screaming against the rich while relaxing in their multi-million dollar mansions with their kids attending schools that charge more in a year than most Americans earn in a year.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »
2nd October 2017
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Everything something bad happens, some fringe authoritarians call for the government to ‘do something’, despite the unambiguous historical record that in most cases when the government decides to ‘do something’ it’s the wrong thing and done badly.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on In the Aftermath of the Vegas Shooting, Time to Nationalize Facebook, Twitter, and Google
28th September 2017
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Yeah, we all know what a misogynist Jackie Chan is. And don’t get me started on Bruce Lee.
Soon the dictionary will have the entry ‘Feminist: See Deranged‘.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Feminist Author Says Teaching Women Self-Defense Has Racist Roots
28th September 2017
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It’s not enough to be black, you have to be the right kind of black.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Black Student Group Complains Ivy League School Is Letting In Too Many African Students
28th September 2017
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Conservative students at Southern Illinois University were informed by police that their “free speech ball” was “freaking out” leftist students on campus, who complained about its presence on campus.
In a video obtained by Campus Reform, conservative student activists from Turning Point USA, the Leadership Institute and Young Americans for Liberty can be seen speaking to police officers. The students were welcoming other students to write messages on the beach ball to exercise their First Amendment rights.
Campus police stopped the students from doing so, informing them that the school received numerous reports from students who were “scared” by the ball. The police told them that they were not operating in a public space. “This is not considered like a public place. Right now, we’re going to have to put the ball away,” said an officer, adding that the ball was “freaking a lot of people out.”
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Progressive Students ‘Freaked Out’ by Beach Ball at Southern Illinois University
21st September 2017
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These people are truly deranged.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Dozens of Chickens Were Injured or Dilled in an SC Srash. PETA Wants to Pay Tribute to Them
18th September 2017
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Fernando Quintela, 26, suffered internal haemorrhaging after he was charged by the bull, which trapped him between its horns and tossed him onto the floor of the bullring in Lisbon, Portugal.
Mr Quintela was acting as a “forcado,” one of eight men who challenge the bull with their bare hands.
Let that be a lesson to us all.
Think of it as evolution in action.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Bullfighter Gored to Death by Bull in Portugal
16th September 2017
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This is the most deranged thing I’ve seen this week, which was just chock full of them.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Chelsea Handler Calls Ben Carson a ‘Black White Supremacist’
14th September 2017
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Officials with Georgia’s Cherokee County school system have apologized after a teacher ordered two students out of her classroom because they were wearing “Make America Great Again” shirts. The teacher said they couldn’t wear the shirts “just like you cannot wear a swastika to school.”
I suppose that this really qualifies under Trump Derangement Syndrome but the headline wasn’t as self-explanatory as such incidents’ headlines usually are.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Brickbat: Make School Great Again
12th September 2017
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I wonder whether that inclues idiolects like SJW (‘You’re all racist!’), proglodyte (‘You’re all bigots!’), and Antifa (‘You’re all Nazis!’) — granted, the latter are somewhat limited in their vocabulary, but make up for it in volume.
Courts in other states also were examined and faulted. Along with California, they began working to comply with U.S civil rights law, which bars discrimination based on national origin. Failure to act meant the possible loss of federal money.
That’s why Calexit will never happen — it would cut off the flow of ‘federal money’, which (unlike your money) is free for the taking and inexhaustible.
At least 220 languages are spoken in California, and 44% of residents speak a language other than English at home. Seven million Californians say they cannot speak English well.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on With 220 Languages Spoken in California, Courts Face an Interpreter Shortage
11th September 2017
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Perfect response to the Kardashian in you.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Brikk Launches Pre-Orders for Gold-Plated iPhone X Models Costing Up to $70K
11th September 2017
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Of course, this is in St. Charles, Missouri. ‘Where?’, I hear you ask — essentially a suburb of St. Louis.
Looking at the two upside-down cathedral windows, I’m not surprised. And these people supposedly remodel houses — how clever to make the garage down a sloped driveway from the street.
Personally, I’d rather have a mortgage than be brain-dead stupid.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on A 3,100 Square Foot, $135K Container House Lets Its Owners Live Mortgage Free
9th September 2017
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Female hypergamy breaks out even among the proglodyte delusional.
(I could make a catty comment here about dickless Democrat, but I’m too high-class to do so.)
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Millennial Chick Can’t Stop Having Sex With Trump Supporters
7th September 2017
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Multiple Harvard University professors have been arrested after blocking traffic to protest President Trump’s gradual rollback of the Obama-era Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) amnesty program, which legal experts said was on constitutionally shaky ground.
Really? Really? Is anybody’s mind going to be changed by this stunt? Is there anybody in the country who is unaware of what the typical Harvard Professor’s position is on this subject? Does it accomplish anything other than irritating people inconvenienced by this crap?
Somebody needs to remind these aging hippies that the Sixties were over a while ago.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »
3rd September 2017
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When Summer draws to an end, it is time for the Minnesota State Fair, one of the world’s great spectacles. You might expect a state fair to be a refuge from the daily onslaught of politics, but that is not the case. The parties have booths, and even in an odd-numbered year, politicians have booths. Still, this year’s event was low-key, politically, until you entered the seed section of the agriculture building.
We have written several times before about seed art, also known as crop art. Basically, the artist glues seeds of different types or colors to a board or other substrate to make a picture. One might expect this sort of folk art to be dominated by conservative ideas and values, but in fact it slants heavily to the left. This year, Trump Derangement Syndrome took over–with the judges as well as seed artists, apparently, as some of the anti-Trump designs won prizes.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Trump Derangement Syndrome Comes to Seed Art
28th August 2017
Read it. And by all means watch the video.
Let that be a lesson to us all.
Think of it as evolution in action.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Anti-Bull Fighting Activist Gets Mauled By the Bull He’s Trying to Help
27th August 2017
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Today in Trump Deragement Syndrome
24th August 2017
Donald Trump displays ‘so many of the traits of a sociopath,’ says MSNBC commentator Which is nothing compared to the traits of a sociopath displayed by MSNBC commentators.
Donald Trump’s Phoenix rally speech revealed a man deteriorating before our very eyes And yet he never seems to change. An odd definition of ‘deteriorate’. (Unexplained: How ‘the New Hitler’ could get any worse. Stay tuned.)
Donald Trump must be impeached ‘as soon as possible’, says former US Labour Secretary Robert Reich emerges from a well-deserved obscurity whenever some media hack needs an anti-Republican quote. But nobody else ever seems to listen.
‘Blacks for Trump’: The strange story of the US President’s least likely fan who considers Oprah Winfrey the devil All Trumps supporters must, of course, be portrayed by the Lamestream Media as oddities. After all, nobody they knew voted for Trump.
Ex-CIA agent seeking to crowdfund Twitter acquisition so that she can shut down Donald Trump’s account Of course, if any Republican had announced that about Obama, the nuclear firestorm in the press would have blown the ozone layer away.
Companies Aren’t Talking About Trump Anymore on Earnings Guess they found out that Trump isn’t a good excuse for their poor performance.
Donny Deutsch Takes to MSNBC to Diagnose Trump as a ‘Sociopath’ And of course an ad executive is qualified to diagnose somebody.
To the great disappointment of many, Trump remains President. Ah, well.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Today in Trump Derangement Syndrome
23rd August 2017
Steve Sailer understands the dialectic.
… and then the world came crashing down on their heads.
The ACLU has been fading relative to the SPLC for a long time. That’s because the SPLC is an overt hate group that sees virtually everything through the Who? Whom? lens. In contrast, the old-fashioned ACLU actually sometimes supports objective principles such as free speech.
Blink and you’ll miss it.
UPDATE: ACLU Apologizes For Tweeting Photo Of White Baby With U.S. Flag
Obviously a congenital Nazi.
‘When your Twitter followers keep you in check and remind you that white supremacy is everywhere’
Underneath your bed! In your sock drawer! In the toilet! OMYGAWD THEY’RE IN THE TRASH CAN!
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on “This is the future that ACLU members want.”
20th August 2017
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The Atlantic, a once-great magazine, has determined that the total eclipse of the sun due to occur on Monday will fail to affect enough black people.
The Atlantic’s very lengthy essay on the failure of the eclipse to occur where a sufficient number of black people reside is entitled “American Blackout.” It clocks in at a remarkable 4,544 words and does not appear to be satire.
If it were National Review, or some other right-wing publication, it would almost certainly be satire.
But The Atlantic is far from being a right-wing publication, and is not known for satirizing SJW twitches.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »
19th August 2017
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How about ‘Proglodyte Studies’? That would describe it better than Liberal Arts.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »
17th August 2017
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Of course. If somebody stubs a toe, it’s Trumps fault.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Lincoln Statue Burned in 98% Black Neighborhood in Chicago, Trump Blamed
17th August 2017
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Perhaps they ought to consider, you know, not doing that.
Like tattoos and piercings, this strikes me as a sure-fire indicator of dorkitude.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 5 Comments »
10th August 2017
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That’s the Democrat way to victory: Take advice from losers.
Put Hillary in charge, she’s the biggest loser of them all.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Jon Ossoff To Join Panel On How Dems Can Win 2018
10th August 2017
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If you ‘identify’ as black even though all of your ancestors are white, hey, there’s an app for that.
Not Invented Here: An app to turn black people white. (After all, why give up that treasured victim status? Status that can be traded for valuable prizes, after all.)
‘Black up’ is, of course, a military term that I’m sure not one in a thousand of the people reading the article will recognize.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on ‘Racist’ FaceApp Photo Filters Encouraged Users to Black Up
6th August 2017
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In his new book, Was the Cat in the Hat Black? The Hidden Racism of Children’s Literature, and the Need for Diverse Books, Philip Nel studies the paradox of stories that are meant to nurture but can also do harm. An English professor at Kansas State University, Nel has probed racism in kids’ books in his classes and in previous books, and he uses this volume to highlight how dozens of beloved picture and chapter books leave negative messages in children’s minds. “No one wants to admit to enjoying something or liking something that perpetuates racial stereotypes. But we do, because a book can be beautiful and racist, a book can be a classic and racist, a book can be really pleasurable and also really racist.” For instance, one of Nel’s personal favorites, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, has a big problem in the Oompa Loompas. The characters, which were depicted in early editions as African pygmies, are portrayed as happy slaves, content to leave their native land behind and toil in a factory. Especially for children who are descendants of slaves, such messages can have a pernicious effect on how they interpret their value in the world.
I’m a racist, you’re a racist, he’s a racist, she’s a racist, wouldn’t you like to be a racist too?
Women and minorities hardest hit etc. etc.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on The Hidden (and Not-So-Hidden) Racism In Kids’ Lit
4th August 2017
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Women and minorities hardest hit etc. etc.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Vanderbilt Professor Says Math Education Is Sexist
29th July 2017
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If not worse.
The University of Iowa’s student newspaper has announced the discovery of a special privilege which intelligent people acquire as an accident of birth. This new privilege — called “cognitive privilege” — functions in essentially the same way as white privilege.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on UPDATE: Not Being Stupid Is ‘Cognitive Privilege’ Now, Which Is Just Like White Privilege
20th July 2017
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After Abortion Barbie, there was nowhere else to go….
Jeffrey Payne, who won the title of International Mr Leather in 2009, hopes to challenge the state’s current Republican governor, Greg Abbott, who announced his bid for reelection last week.
Sounds like the perfect Democrat candidate.
“Texas needs a Governor who believes in Real Texas Values, like integrity, honesty, freedom and independence,” Mr Payne said.
In other words, not a Democrat.
“We need to stop wasting our time and money on trivial legislation and start investing in finding ways to help Texans, their families, and their businesses prosper.”
At taxpayer expense, no doubt.
In an interview with CBS Dallas, Mr Payne said he does not think Texas voters will focus on his same-sex marriage – or, presumably, on his connections to the BDSM-tinged gay leather community.
Democrats are so out of touch with reality.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Gay Leather Bar Owner Runs for Governor in Texas
19th July 2017
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The Irish: Saving civilization one cow at a time.
Now if we can only get them to stop farting….
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Irish Farmers to Create Seaweed Eating ‘Supercows’ in Bid to Fight Climate Change
16th July 2017
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They have a cost estimator. The cost of the roof for my house would exceed the price of the house, and the savings would not pay for it over the estimated life of the roof. Plus firefighters refuse to go onto roofs with solar panels because they’re unsafe.
Elon: Try again.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Tesla Solar Roof
13th July 2017
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Harlow was covering President Trump’s arrival in Paris, France to meet with French president Emmanuel Macron. After the two world leaders shook hands, they stood together as a band played the United States national anthem.
However, Harlow cut to the scene by saying, “Let’s just listen in to the French national anthem for just a moment.”
Why should she? It’s Not Her Country.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on MEDIA NATION: CNN Anchor Doesn’t Recognize US National Anthem
12th July 2017
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I’m waiting for them to kill a chicken and sprinkle it’s blood on the pipeline path. That will stop them for sure.
Surely somewhere some time a Skraeling tribe did that sort of thing. it sounds like the sort of thing that they would do. Or maybe some Antifa protesters; I always get them mixed up.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Enviros Think Solar Panels Along Keystone Pipeline Route Will Shame Developers Into Giving Up
12th July 2017
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Yeah, that sure worked the first time.
Maybe Zeus will bail out their economy. Hey, it could happen.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Greeks Are Suddenly Worshiping Ancient Greek Gods All Over Again
12th July 2017
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A Seattle, Wash., councilman implied that a new effort to clean excrement off the side walk outside the local courthouse could be racist Tuesday.
The crime and smell of urine and excrement have gotten so bad outside a King County courthouse that two judges are scrambling to find ways to fix the situation, reports the Seattle Times.
Seattle councilmember Larry Gossett isn’t a fan of one solution to power wash the feces sidewalks to tamp down on the smell. Power washing the sidewalks is too reminiscent of civil rights activists being hosed down, he said.
Something in the water of the Pacific that washes the Left Coast works to lower IQ.
The government ought to do something.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Seattle Councilman: Cleaning Poop Off Sidewalks Is Racist
29th June 2017
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A woman attending a Planned Parenthood protest Wednesday afternoon on Capitol Hill held a sign signaling to the world how much greater her virtues were than any Republican, or American, supporting the Obamacare repeal effort.
“I don’t know how to convince you to care about others,” the sign read.
Hundreds of protestors marched to express their disdain for Senate Republicans’ bill to repeal major portions of Obamacare. The most consistent complaints of the Senate bill among those in attendance were the 1-year cut to Planned Parenthood funding and the steep cuts to Medicaid.
The obvious response is ‘I don’t know how to convince you to mind your own fucking business and keep your nose out of mine (and your hand out of my pocket).’ But that doesn’t fit conveniently on a sign.
And of course anyone who supports abortion-mill Planned Parenthood has no standing from which to criticize other people about ‘not caring about others’.
Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 4 Comments »
16th June 2017
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Think of it as evolution in action.
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