Marriage-lite
16th February 2009
The problem is, there’s one group that did not assume the risks of the individual autonomy boom. Children are not benefited by the unstable new co-habiting options that adults are devising for themselves. Adults are merely rationalizing their own preferences when they intone that children are better off raised by separated parents than in an unhappy marriage. Hogwash. Most children would far prefer two unhappy married parents to two happier divorced or never-married parents enjoying their new freedom or new spouses. Perhaps eventually, if any expectation that a procreative union is permanent is abolished, children will adjust, but I doubt it. The preview afforded by the black community is not reassuring (though I admit that inner-city Milwaukee is not readily comparable to Lyons or Stockholm).
February 16th, 2009 at 07:50
Most children would far prefer two unhappy married parents to two happier divorced or never-married parents enjoying their new freedom or new spouses.
Are you sure?? I find that extremely dubious, based on my own first-hand experience as well as that of others. It is absolutely impossible for a child in a family to be happy while his parents are at each others throats. Single motherhood is far from ideal but I would say it is better than being in a family that wants to divorce but can’t.
February 16th, 2009 at 08:54
Clock, I have the exact same objection and also speak from personal experience.
This meme seems to be spread around without any research and is just being accepted, I’d like to actually see some research on this, do single parent children or children from divorced/remarried parents fare better or worse than children in households where the partners are not “in love” (might be difficult to research but I’m sure someone can come up with a set of questions that could differentiate a “loving” family from a separate but together family)