DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Archive for the 'You can’t make this stuff up.' Category

Nato Is Considering Joining Fight Against Isis, Says US Defence Secretary

11th February 2016

Read it.

Because ISIS totally operates in the North Atlantic. Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Isn’t it time we got rid of NATO, and let the Europeans pay for their own defense?

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

The Constitution Rewritten by Sensitive College Students

10th February 2016

Read it.

We the People [not ALL the people] of the United States [U.S.-centric!] in Order to form a more perfect Union [singles’ therapy and anatomy-neutral gingerbread persons available to uncoupled undergrads] establish Justice [students unfairly punished for “wrong” answers on organic-chemistry exam should join the Tweet for A’s study group], insure domestic Tranquility [teaching assistants who are married but still exploring their socio-sexual identities advised to stop reading now], provide for the common defence [those who have ever felt intimidated by campus security, please gather in the cafeteria, Thursday at 2 P.M., for Stoning ‘n Donuts] promote the general Welfare [warning: could cause distress to anyone not happy all the time], and secure the Blessings [anti-atheistic] of Liberty [full disclosure: I’m going outside now to dumpster-dive for lunch and do community service—it’s a beautiful day, though I mustn’t forget that the fine weather is a serious indicator of global warming] to ourselves [the Committee of Apologies feels shame that the Founding Parents used such a possessive, exclusive, and egomaniacal pronoun] and . . . [The length of this Preamble, which consists entirely of one complex sentence, is discriminatory to those suffering from A.D.D., as well as other learning issues, so we are skipping ahead to Article I, Section 1; not that we’re implying that there’s anything wrong with a disorder, or even learning, as long as it is consensual.]

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Anti-Israel Students Want to Ban Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, a Tool of Their Oppression

3rd February 2016

Read it.

Students at Vassar College have struck a critical blow against the Israeli occupation of Palestinian: they signed a resolution calling on the college to divest from Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Without a doubt, the hour of Palestinian liberation has finally arrived.

Forward, the Revolution, for all freedom-loving peoples!

The resolution calls on Vassar to disallow students from consuming Ben & Jerry’s during official functions. I scream, you scream, we all scream because it never stops.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Black NBA Star Denounces Chinese “Year of the Monkey” Promotion as Racist

3rd February 2016

Steve Sailer finds such things so you don’t have to.

Bucks TV analyst Marques Johnson says he was called into a conversation player DeMarcus Cousins was having with the Kings operations team over the controversial shirt.

‘I walk into the building and DeMarcus Cousins calls me over to an animated discussion he’s having with Kings operations people. He [asks] me, “Olskool, what you think about this T-shirt? Told him a little insensitive on first day of Black History Month.” They pulled the shirts,’ said Johnson on his Facebook page.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

UConn Building ‘Black Only’ Segregated Dorm

2nd February 2016

Read it.

From segregation to segregation in only 50 years. That’s progress.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Italian Reporter Attacks Rowdy Football Fan With Inflatable Banana on Transfer Deadline Day

2nd February 2016

Watch it.

Not something you see every day.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Leonardo Dicaprio Being Offered Lenin Role Has Angered Russian Communists

1st February 2016

Read it.

Can’t say that I blame them. We wouldn’t want him to give Lenin a bad name.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Tools to Solve Those First World Problems

1st February 2016

HidrateSpark Smart Water Bottle.

Make sure you’re drinking enough water with HidrateSpark, the smart water bottle. Connecting to the Hidrate app on your phone via Bluetooth, this bottle is outfitted with advanced technology and a precise sensor to keep track of how much water you consume. The app sets goals for what you should drink each day and it will send you helpful, friendly reminders to keep you sipping. If you do forget to drink your water, HidrateSpark will glow to alert you instantly.

George Carlin once said: ‘If you nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, some schmuck will buy it.’

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

New Wedding Trend: Sologamy (Marrying Yourself)

31st January 2016

Read it.

When the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, some who objected to the ruling opined that this will lead to legalizing polygamy or even group marriages (where two or more couples marry each other). What they didn’t mention was a new kind of marriage trend which also goes against the biblical definition of marriage being between one man and one woman. The new trend is called Sologamy, which defines marriage between one man or one woman – otherwise known as marrying one’s self.

I am not making this up. On the other hand, I have no confidence that the writers aren’t. But it’s fun to read.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Witches Will Cast a ‘Protective Spell’ on a Chicago Neighborhood to Stop Gentrification

29th January 2016

Read it.

Yeah, let me know how that works out for you.

‘I can call spirits from the vasty deep!’
‘Well, so can I, or so can any man;
But do they come when you do call for them?’

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Top US Naval Intelligence Officer Barred From Access to Classified Naval Intelligence

29th January 2016

Read it.

So … what has transpired over the last 800 days or so in the national-security arena? ISIS went from being the “jayvee team” to a terrorist quasi-state launching deadly attacks from the Sinai to the streets of Paris. Iran’s navy fired missiles at US Navy ships and captured ten American sailors. China built an island in the middle of the ocean and claimed the area as territorial waters. North Korea has … continued being North Korea.

What did two top officials of naval intelligence know about any of these crises, and others? Probably nothing at all other than what appeared in the papers, because the admiral in charge of naval intelligence has had all of his clearances suspended since November 2013. The Washington Post reported last night that one of Vice Admiral Ted Branch’s key aides had his clearance suspended at the same time.

Unbelievable.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

The Next Cuban Gristle Crisis: US Navy Warship Powered by Beef Fat

24th January 2016

Read it.

The USS Stockdale, a guided-missile-launching destroyer, has set sail powered by an unusual fuel – waste beef fat.

The ship, deployed this week in the USS John C. Stennis Carrier Strike Group, is part of the Navy’s Great Green Fleet initiative, which is trying to make swabbies more environmentally friendly by using alternative fuels for power.

“The Navy’s use of renewable energy in the Great Green Fleet represents its ability to diversify its energy sources, and also our nation’s ability to take what would be a waste product and create homegrown, clean, advanced biofuels to support a variety of transportation needs,” said US Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack.

“Today’s deployment proves that America is on its way to a secure, clean energy future, where both defense and commercial transportation can be fueled by our own hardworking farmers and ranchers, reduce landfill waste and bring manufacturing jobs back to rural America.”

This might sound like environmentalism gone mad but don’t have a cow, man, because there’s method to the Navy’s madness. The beef fat was purchased from ranchers in the Midwest at competitive rates, Vilsack said, and rendered into fuel by a California company at a cost of $2.05 per gallon.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Artist Turns Classic Video Games Into Subway Maps

21st January 2016

Read it.

Sure, why not? Some people just have too much time on their hands.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

SC College Student Falls 6 Floors After Trying to Spit on Party in Apartments Below, Police Say

21st January 2016

Read it.

Let that be a lesson to us all.

(Time to review the admissions process to see how this moron got in….)

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Bernie Sanders’ Radical Past: How the Vermont Firebrand Started Wearing a Suit and Gave Up on Taking Over Big Companies

19th January 2016

Read it.

Sanders believed his work in Burlington could spread socialism throughout America. In April 1985, the Los Angeles Times published a lengthy interview with Sanders in which he outlined his plan to spark “radical change.”

“I think from one end of this country to the other, people are ripe for political revolution. Fifty percent of the people do not bother voting in the presidential and statewide elections,” Sanders said. “The vast majority of those not voting are low-income people who have given up on America. The whole quality of life in America is based on greed. I believe in the redistribution of wealth in this nation.”

It would appear that Democrat primary voters will be faced with a choice between a fool and a crook; neither is really an outlier within the Democrat tradition, so it will be interesting to see where they come down.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Mohammed’s Millinery

18th January 2016

Mark Steyn ponders the irony.

Canadians are dead, and so is satire. Six Quebeckers get slaughtered by Islamic terrorists in Burkina Faso, and to honor their memory Prime Minister Justin Trudeau leads a moment of silence …at a mosque.

And probably didn’t think twice about it. It would have been hilarious if a jihadist had cut his head off, but you can’t have everything.

Speaking of prime ministers, having spent his entire premiership assuring us that whatever happens in the news headlines is nothing to do with Islam, David Cameron has suddenly discovered a few things that are to do with Islam. The opening paragraph from Mr Cameron’s column in the London Times:

Where in the world do you think the following things are happening? School governors’ meetings where male governors sit in the meeting room and the women have to sit out of sight in the corridor. Young women only allowed to leave their house in the company of a male relative. Religious councils that openly discriminate against women and prevent them from leaving abusive marriages.

The answer, I’m sorry to say, is Britain.

Ah, right. And who in Britain bears responsibility for letting a parallel self-segregating society incubate and grow these last 20 years?

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

10% of College Graduates Think Judge Judy Is on the Supreme Court

17th January 2016

Read it.

The people have spoken. Barry, here’s your next SC nominee.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Honest Posters for This Year’s Oscar Nominees

15th January 2016

Check it out.

I’d like to see these on the street.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Flying Turkey Ruffles Feathers About ‘Emotional Support’ Animals on Planes

15th January 2016

Read it.

If you think that air travel has gone to the birds, it has -literally.

We’re talkin’ turkey, as in that big Thanksgiving bird, one of which recently was spotted aboard a Delta flight acting as a “support animal,” and that’s causing a flap over how passengers are using, and abusing, comfort animal rules.

So how can a turkey get on a plane?  Simple.  The passenger provided proper documentation proving the fowl was indeed their emotional support animal, so Delta let the bird on board, and even gave it its own seat.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

A Fight to Decriminalize Cookies (No, Really) Plays Out in Wisconsin

14th January 2016

Read it.

It is against the law to sell homemade baked goods in Wisconsin. Cookies, brownies, muffins, whatever. Those who violate the law potentially face up to $1,000 in fines and up to six months in jail.

Wisconsin’s GazetteXtra notes that the Wisconsin Bakery Association also lobbied against the bill, saying that commercial operators “don’t need more competition; we need cooperation from our government!” Well, there wasn’t even a mask to slip off, was there? They are simply saying that the government should protect them from the marketplace, and it doesn’t even occur to them that this is wrong and unconstitutional, or they just don’t care.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Swedish Police Banned From Describing Criminals Anymore in Case They Sound Racist

14th January 2016

Read it.

Swedish police will no longer be able to give descriptions of alleged criminals for fear of being seen as racist.

According to an internal letter, police in capital city Stockholm are instructed to refrain from describing suspects’ race and nationality, according to news website Speisa.

The crimes “involve everything from lighter traffic accidents to serious crimes like muggings, beatings and murder,” the paper reported.

The letter specifies that, for everyday crimes such as burglary, basic information such as ethnicity, nationality, skin colour and height should not be given.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

American Folk Singer Hopes Peace Concert for ISIS Will Win Over Terror Group

13th January 2016

Read it.

I suspect that this us just a publicity stunt – nobody can possibly be this deluded.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | No Comments »

Gunman Tries to Kill Cop in West Philly ‘in the Name of Islam,’ Mayor Calls for More Federal Gun Control

8th January 2016

Read it.

I wonder whether he used the classic line ‘Round up the usual suspects.’

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Gunman Tries to Kill Cop in West Philly ‘in the Name of Islam,’ Mayor Calls for More Federal Gun Control

Anti-Violence Demonstration Ends After Physical Fight Breaks Out Amongst Peace Activists

1st January 2016

Reed it.

I am not making this up. (Well, it is Newark.)

Black Live Matter … unless it’s black folks doin’ the hittin’.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Anti-Violence Demonstration Ends After Physical Fight Breaks Out Amongst Peace Activists

Video Shows Woman Wakeboarding During Floods in Ireland

30th December 2015

Watch it.

The Irish are unique.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Video Shows Woman Wakeboarding During Floods in Ireland

The World of LA Parenting: How Did California Child-Rearing Become So Ideologically Charged?

29th December 2015

Read it.

Let us descend into the depths of SWPL-dom on the Left Coast….

The people in Bea’s baby yoga class are split down a social fault-line between vaxxers and anti-vaxxers. In a sensible society, parents would heed their doctor’s advice. Here, the hierarchy of perceived wisdom tends to be reversed: the one who knows best how a baby ought to be reared is the baby itself, followed by his or her parents, who’ve read at least three baby books and a bunch of persuasive unsourced articles that they found on the internet.

The paediatrician, meanwhile, is considered a corporate shill who just wants to poke needles in your child and pump it full of toxins, diphtheria and non-organic baby formula. A doctor’s recommendations must always be filtered through a Facebook forum for concerned local moms. And what do doctors know, anyway? Only what they’ve gleaned from a decade of medical training and their years of subsequent experience, backed up by the full weight of modern science.

If I were to ask my parents whether they raised me according to Attachment, Tiger or Parisian principles, they’d wonder what on earth I was on about. Middle-class child-rearing across most of the developed world has become increasingly demented: consumerist, competitive, ideologically charged. And LA’s “crunchy” moms and dads are pioneers, way out west at the crossroads of celebrity and new-age culture.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on The World of LA Parenting: How Did California Child-Rearing Become So Ideologically Charged?

Bernie Sanders Says He’ll Try to Woo Donald Trump Supporters

28th December 2015

Read it.

Well, he’s a socialist, so he’s accustomed to thinking that wishes will come true.

Every time I see a picture of Bernie Sanders, I keep hearing ‘You kids get off my lawn!’

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Bernie Sanders Says He’ll Try to Woo Donald Trump Supporters

Women Rob NY Knicks Player of $750G in Jewelry After Night of Partying

21st December 2015

Read it.

New York Knicks forward Derrick Williams was robbed of $750,000 in jewelry at his Tribeca apartment early Saturday — and he’s blaming two women he took home from a Meatpacking District club earlier in the evening.

The women pillaged a Louis Vuitton jewelry case holding a small fortune in basketballer bling, law-enforcement sources said.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Williams said after the Knicks’ game at Madison Square Garden Saturday night. “It’s still up in the air.”

Let that be a lesson to us all.

My mama done tol’ me, when I was in knee-pants
My mama done tol’ me, ” Son a woman’ll sweet talk”
And give ya the big eye, but when the sweet talkin’s done
A woman’s a two-face, A worrisome thing who’ll leave ya to sing the blues in the night

 

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Women Rob NY Knicks Player of $750G in Jewelry After Night of Partying

At Oberlin, Foodies Seek a ‘Safe Space’

21st December 2015

Read it.

Students at Oberlin College have a new injustice to fight: steamed chicken.

Some undergrads at the left-leaning Ohio college are upset at the ingredients and quality of several Asian dishes being served in the cafeteria, The Oberlin Review reported. The frustrations first arose in November, but have continued into late December.

One of the chief complaints? Steamed chicken instead of fried chicken as the main component of General Tso’s chicken.

Another supposed food infraction involved the Vietnamese Banh Mi sandwich. Instead of a baguette, grilled pork, pate, pickled vegetable and herbs, Oberlin diners received pulled pork and coleslaw on ciabatta bread.

No, this is not from the Onion.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on At Oberlin, Foodies Seek a ‘Safe Space’

A Christmas Carol

17th December 2015

Read it.

The results of a competition in a newspaper, obviously.

It is the very model of a modern-day Nativity,
a time for festive joy beside commercial productivity
to mark a maid who’s given birth but hung on to virginity
in spite of intervention by a member of the Trinity.

Since throes of procreation might have left her rather quivery
the retail angel, Amazon, ensured a fast delivery;
now visitors are welcomed in, for no one ever underrates
the simple joy of bringing gifts, and shepherds bearing ungulates.

Who needs satnav? The kings have found, to help them in their reckoning,
a new celestial navigator — stellar sales are beckoning;
the goodwill season isn’t done, we’re glad to find Epiphany’s
a time to offer frankincense and myrrh, with gold from Tiffany’s.

And now the January sales will find the buyers bordering
on mass hysteria, or worse — just stuck at home mail-ordering.
And as the herald angels sing, the people won’t be tarrying,
they’ll greet the day with Christmas cheer and zealous cash-and-carrying.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on A Christmas Carol

Harvard University Creates Holiday Placemats For Social Justice

17th December 2015

Read it.

The Office for Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion at Harvard University distributed what it is calling “Holiday Placemats for Social Justice” on campus to help freshmen students navigate difficult conversations when they return home for Christmas break.

An alternative title might be ‘DoubleThink for Dummies’.

Some prankster ought to paint ‘SWPL’ on all the roofs of Harvard buildings, just to keep things clear.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Harvard University Creates Holiday Placemats For Social Justice

Suspected Bank Robber Runs Past TV Reporter Live On-Air

17th December 2015

Read it. And watch the video.

Adam Sallet, from Minnesota’s KIMT3 News, was reporting from outside the Sterling State Bank in Rochester when a bank employee sprinted towards him while pointing behind the camera.

Apparently reacting to what the bank worker informs him, Mr Sallet tells viewers: “Oh, that’s the robber.

 Amazing. Even more amazing is that it appeared on a British newspaper web site.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Suspected Bank Robber Runs Past TV Reporter Live On-Air

Rachel Dolezal ‘Doesn’t Believe in Race’ Despite Furore Over Rer Identifying as Black

14th December 2015

Read it.

Which is like saying that you don’t believe in biology — Politically Correct but essentially stupid.

‘Nothing about whiteness describes who I am’

Except the fact that she’s, like, white.

Now after losing her job and reportedly having to live on food stamps, she told the Guardian she will not apologise for how she identifies.

Of course not. Delusional people are delusional for a reason.

“If somebody asked me how I identify, I identify as black. Nothing about whiteness describes who I am… For as long as I can remember, I saw myself as black.”

I always saw myself as Green Lantern — didn’t mean I could fly.

She disputes those who tried to defend her actions by calling her ‘transracial’ – a term which implies similarity to transgenderism, in that you were born one race but identify as another.

In other words, her fantasy ought to trump your reality. In the Good Old Days they locked people up for that sort of thing.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Rachel Dolezal ‘Doesn’t Believe in Race’ Despite Furore Over Rer Identifying as Black

Univ. of Arizona protesters demonstrate at restaurant called ‘Illegal Pete’s’

14th December 2015

Read it.

Approximately 50 student protesters from the University of Arizona and local high schools showed up Thursday evening to voice their displeasure at the opening of the Illegal Pete’s restaurant in Tucson, Arizona.

Really, you can’t make this stuff up.

The U. of Arizona Chicano-rights group M.E.Ch.A. says the term “illegal” is a racial slur.

Uh, what race is ‘illegal’? Or ‘Pete’? Perhaps they could change the name to ‘The Hypersensitive Hispanic’.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Univ. of Arizona protesters demonstrate at restaurant called ‘Illegal Pete’s’

University Offers Counseling, Support Meeting to Students Distressed by ‘White Student Union’

7th December 2015

Read it.

Poor babies.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on University Offers Counseling, Support Meeting to Students Distressed by ‘White Student Union’

Man Named Bud Weisser Arrested at Budweiser brewery

5th December 2015

Read it.

Nineteen-year-old Bud Weisser was cited for trespassing and resisting arrest. Police say he was found in a secured area of the brewery Thursday evening.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Man Named Bud Weisser Arrested at Budweiser brewery

You Can Now Have Pet Jellyfish at Home

3rd December 2015

Read it.

If, of course, that’s what you want to do.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on You Can Now Have Pet Jellyfish at Home

Harvard to Discontinue Use of ‘House Master’ Title

3rd December 2015

Read it.

Harvard College plans to change the title of its heads of residential housing from “house master,” the traditional term, to a new term that will better reflect “the 21st-century needs of residential student life,” according to a letter to students from the college dean, Rakesh Khurana.

The change, announced in an email sent out Tuesday, comes after long discussion over whether the term “master” has connotations of slavery, and in the wake of recent protests at Harvard and other colleges over racial bias, from the real to the symbolic

I suggest ‘Head Coddler’ as being an accurate reflection of the position’d duties.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Video: Skateboarder Falls 450 feet Off Bridge in Stunt Fail

30th November 2015

Read it. (Well, watch the video.)

Darwin Award nominee.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Video: Skateboarder Falls 450 feet Off Bridge in Stunt Fail

Suspected Burglar Dies in Chimney After Homeowner Unknowingly Lights Fire

30th November 2015

Read it.

A suspected burglar who became stuck in the chimney of a house in California has died after the homeowner lit a fire without realising anyone was inside.

Think of it as evolution in action.

(Ponder the fact that British newspapers often have better coverage of interesting American news than the Drive-By Media.)

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Suspected Burglar Dies in Chimney After Homeowner Unknowingly Lights Fire

Was Titanic Inquiry Scuppered by the Freemasons?

23rd November 2015

Read it.

A secret archive containing the names of two million Freemasons has been made public for the first time on the genealogy site Ancestry which reveals extensive Masonic involvement in the controversial British investigation into the catastrophe.

It confirms that not only the judge who oversaw the British Wreck Commissioner’s inquiry into the disaster and leading investigators, but also even some of those who escaped censure were all Freemasons.

Which is, of course, like saying that they were all Scoutmasters. In other words, who cares?

While a US Senate inquiry into the sinking savaged the White Star Line and singled out the British Board of Trade for blame for lax regulations which allowed the scandalously small number of lifeboats fitted on the ship, the UK investigation overseen by Lord Mersey avoided blaming the Board of Trade.

 

A government commission avoiding blaming a government department. That’s news.

I like a conspiracy theory better than most, but this is a stretch — and not the sort of tabloid-fodder you expect to find in the Telegraph.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Why Everything We Thought We Knew About ‘Healthy’ Food Could Be Wrong

22nd November 2015

Read it.

Israeli researchers, writing in the journal Cell this week, have found that different people’s bodies respond to eating the same meal very differently — which means that a diet that may work wonders for your best friend may not have the same impact on you.

Lead authors Eran Segal and Eran Elinav of the Weizmann Institute of Science focused on one key component used in creating balanced diet plans like Atkins, Zone or South Beach. Known as the glycemic index or GI for short, it was developed decades ago as a measure of how certain foods impact blood sugar level and has been assumed to be a fixed number.

But it’s not. It turns out that it varies widely depending on the individual.

But that doesn’t men that Global Warming isn’t a thing! Not at all!

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Why Everything We Thought We Knew About ‘Healthy’ Food Could Be Wrong

UK: Classic Paintings and Film Stills Given Wheat-Free Makeovers in ‘Gluten Free Museum’ Project

18th November 2015

Read it.

It is well known that a lot of very strange stuff lurks on the internet, but one French blogger’s ‘Gluten Free Museum’ is one of the stranger artistic discoveries.

Got that in one.

Graphic artist Arthur Coulet decided to airbrush all wheat-containing products out of classic paintings and film stills, not to make fun of the gluten-free movement, but as “a joke”. The idea first came to him when he noticed gluten-free ads, but he does not follow a gluten-free diet himself.

It would be even ‘funnier’ if he included the starved corpses of the people who depended on wheat for their daily bread. ‘ROFL’ as I believe the ‘kids’ say today.

Coulet’s Gluten Free Museum started drawing attention in April and soon, news sites began interpreting his project as a mockery of the suddenly popular gluten-free diet. “It’s art, minus the gluten. Finally,” The Huffington Post wrote, but Coulet insists there is no message behind his blog.

Yeah, having a point is just so fifteen minutes ago.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on UK: Classic Paintings and Film Stills Given Wheat-Free Makeovers in ‘Gluten Free Museum’ Project

Vegan Handbags

18th November 2015

Read it.

The last few years have seen a rise in the number of specialist, trend-led accessory brands creating luxe-looking pieces from ethically sourced materials. All these bags listed here are part of the PETA-Approved Vegan scheme so contain no leather or other animal-derived fabrics. There are range of styles, from clutches and bucket bags to roomy shoppers and structured shoulder bags.

You too can be Politically Correct and fashionable at the same time.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

This Hooded Scarf Makes You Look Like an Ewok

17th November 2015

Read it.

If, of course, that’s what you want to do.

I’d like to see one on Hillary Clinton. Just sayin’.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on This Hooded Scarf Makes You Look Like an Ewok

Cut a Record From a Tortilla

17th November 2015

Read it.

If, of course, that’s what you want to do.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Cut a Record From a Tortilla

WORLD TOILET DAY: ADDRESSING THE CRISIS ONE CLEAN TOILET AT A TIME

16th November 2015

Read it.

Forget all that stuff about Muslims killing people; this is important.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on WORLD TOILET DAY: ADDRESSING THE CRISIS ONE CLEAN TOILET AT A TIME

Clarion University Forced to Cancel Play Over Actors’ Race

14th November 2015

Read it.

Student actors and the stage crew at Clarion University arrived Tuesday evening for one of the final rehearsals before next week’s campus opening of “Jesus in India” only to learn the off-Broadway production they had spent months on had been canceled.

The reason they were given was race: theirs.

Three of the five characters in the production are Indian, but on the mostly white state university campus, two of those characters were to be played by white student actors and a third was being portrayed by a mixed-race student.

Lloyd Suh, the playwright, told the university through his literary agent Monday that he was uncomfortable with any notion that he supported Caucasians portraying Indian characters in his play, said Bob Levy, chairman of the visual and performing arts department at Clarion.

I was under the impression that an actor’s job was to pretend convincingly to be someone he is not. Apparently I was misinformed.

The Korean-American playwright wanted the parts recast, Mr. Levy said, and ultimately pulled the university’s right to stage the production after being told that finding Asian replacements was not practical given the play was to open next Wednesday on a campus in rural northwestern Pennsylvania where Asian or Pacific Islander students account for 0.7 of 1 percent of the university’s 5,368 students.

Sorry, reality, you’ll have to take a back seat to the political agenda.

I think the playwright needs to be pressured to change his name from ‘Lloyd’ to something more ethnic. Suk Deep, perhaps.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Clarion University Forced to Cancel Play Over Actors’ Race

Journalists Banned From Event on Whether Feminism Suppresses Free Speech … for Offending Feminists

14th November 2015

Read it.

A pair of journalists critical of modern feminism have been banned from a university event that, ironically, focuses on whether feminism is stifling modern free speech.

The University of Manchester Free Speech & Secular Society is scheduled to hold a public debate Oct. 15 titled “From Liberation to Censorship: Does Modern Feminism Have a Problem with Free Speech?” Initially, two journalists, Milo Yiannopoulos of Breitbart and Julie Bindel of the Guardian, were invited to speak at the debate. Both have since been barred from attending because their opinions are considered too offensive.

The people at The Onion must be tearing out their hair. How do you parody something that looks like a parody?

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Journalists Banned From Event on Whether Feminism Suppresses Free Speech … for Offending Feminists

Mass. Woman Wins Fight to Wear Colander in Driver’s License by Citing ‘Pastafarian’ Religion

13th November 2015

Read it.

A Massachusetts woman this week won the right to wear a colander on her head in her driver’s license photo after citing religious reasons. Lindsay Miller identifies as a “Pastafarian” and member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which some critics call a parody religion.

Imagine that.

She tried to wear the kitchen utensil in her driver’s license photo this year but the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles denied her request. However, after intervention by the American Humanist Association’s Appignani Humanist Legal Center the RMV recently reversed its stance.

This is why it’s not a good idea to put government employees in charge of anything important, such as your health insurance or your tax money.

Ms. Miller said she was delighted that the agency allowed her to don a colander for her driver’s license, which was issued Thursday.

I have absolutely no doubt that she is. The rest of us, on the other hand, not so much.

“While I don’t think the government can involve itself in matters of religion, I do hope this decision encourages my fellow Pastafarian Atheists to come out and express themselves as I have,” Ms. Miller said.

Of course, if she had just called it an especially sturdy niqab, nobody would have dared to say boo about it.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | Comments Off on Mass. Woman Wins Fight to Wear Colander in Driver’s License by Citing ‘Pastafarian’ Religion