DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Archive for the 'You can’t make this stuff up.' Category

Dozens of Chickens Were Injured or Dilled in an SC Srash. PETA Wants to Pay Tribute to Them

21st September 2017

Read it.

These people are truly deranged.

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Bullfighter Gored to Death by Bull in Portugal

18th September 2017

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Fernando Quintela, 26, suffered internal haemorrhaging after he was charged by the bull, which trapped him between its horns and tossed him onto the floor of the bullring in Lisbon, Portugal.

Mr Quintela was acting as a “forcado,” one of eight men who challenge the bull with their bare hands.

Let that be a lesson to us all.

Think of it as evolution in action.

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Chelsea Handler Calls Ben Carson a ‘Black White Supremacist’

16th September 2017

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This is the most deranged thing I’ve seen this week, which was just chock full of them.

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Brickbat: Make School Great Again

14th September 2017

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Officials with Georgia’s Cherokee County school system have apologized after a teacher ordered two students out of her classroom because they were wearing “Make America Great Again” shirts. The teacher said they couldn’t wear the shirts “just like you cannot wear a swastika to school.”

I suppose that this really qualifies under Trump Derangement Syndrome but the headline wasn’t as self-explanatory as such incidents’ headlines usually are.

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With 220 Languages Spoken in California, Courts Face an Interpreter Shortage

12th September 2017

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I wonder whether that inclues idiolects like SJW (‘You’re all racist!’), proglodyte (‘You’re all bigots!’), and Antifa (‘You’re all Nazis!’) — granted, the latter are somewhat limited in their vocabulary, but make up for it in volume.

Courts in other states also were examined and faulted. Along with California, they began working to comply with U.S civil rights law, which bars discrimination based on national origin. Failure to act meant the possible loss of federal money.

That’s why Calexit will never happen — it would cut off the flow of ‘federal money’, which (unlike your money) is free for the taking and inexhaustible.

At least 220 languages are spoken in California, and 44% of residents speak a language other than English at home. Seven million Californians say they cannot speak English well.

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Brikk Launches Pre-Orders for Gold-Plated iPhone X Models Costing Up to $70K

11th September 2017

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Perfect response to the Kardashian in you.

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A 3,100 Square Foot, $135K Container House Lets Its Owners Live Mortgage Free

11th September 2017

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Of course, this is in St. Charles, Missouri. ‘Where?’, I hear you ask — essentially a suburb of St. Louis.

Looking at the two upside-down cathedral windows, I’m not surprised. And these people supposedly remodel houses — how clever to make the garage down a sloped driveway from the street.

Personally, I’d rather have a mortgage than be brain-dead stupid.

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Millennial Chick Can’t Stop Having Sex With Trump Supporters

9th September 2017

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Female hypergamy breaks out even among the proglodyte delusional.

(I could make a catty comment here about dickless Democrat, but I’m too high-class to do so.)

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Virtue Signaling Alert: Harvard Professors Arrested After Blocking Traffic to Protest Trump

7th September 2017

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Multiple Harvard University professors have been arrested after blocking traffic to protest President Trump’s gradual rollback of the Obama-era Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) amnesty program, which legal experts said was on constitutionally shaky ground.

Really? Really? Is anybody’s mind going to be changed by this stunt? Is there anybody in the country who is unaware of what the typical Harvard Professor’s position is on this subject? Does it accomplish anything other than irritating people inconvenienced by this crap?

Somebody needs to remind these aging hippies that the Sixties were over a while ago.

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Trump Derangement Syndrome Comes to Seed Art

3rd September 2017

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When Summer draws to an end, it is time for the Minnesota State Fair, one of the world’s great spectacles. You might expect a state fair to be a refuge from the daily onslaught of politics, but that is not the case. The parties have booths, and even in an odd-numbered year, politicians have booths. Still, this year’s event was low-key, politically, until you entered the seed section of the agriculture building.

We have written several times before about seed art, also known as crop art. Basically, the artist glues seeds of different types or colors to a board or other substrate to make a picture. One might expect this sort of folk art to be dominated by conservative ideas and values, but in fact it slants heavily to the left. This year, Trump Derangement Syndrome took over–with the judges as well as seed artists, apparently, as some of the anti-Trump designs won prizes.

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No Joke: Robbers Walk Into Bar Full of Off-Duty Cops

31st August 2017

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Let that be a lesson to us all.

Think of it as evolution in action.

Here’s the Ermey version.

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Anti-Bull Fighting Activist Gets Mauled By the Bull He’s Trying to Help

28th August 2017

Read it. And by all means watch the video.

Let that be a lesson to us all.

Think of it as evolution in action.

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Why Are So Many BASE Jumpers Dying?

27th August 2017

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‘Stupid’ comes immediately to mind, but that’s just a guess.

Death is God’s way of saying ‘Don’t do that’.

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Today in Trump Deragement Syndrome

27th August 2017

Donald Trump ‘might refuse to leave the White House when his term ends’, historian warns

ABC Panel: Trump’s Pardon ‘Decimating’ U.S. Institutions, ‘Law and Order’  Horseshit. Clinton did worse.

Biden: Trump’s Contempt For The US Constitution Won’t Stop  Not a word about Obama’s unconstitutional actions, of course.

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Safe Spaces and ‘Ze’ Badges: My Bewildering Year at a US University

24th August 2017

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Foreigners have no idea what to make of our crazy academia.

I feel their pain.

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Today in Trump Derangement Syndrome

24th August 2017

Donald Trump displays ‘so many of the traits of a sociopath,’ says MSNBC commentator  Which is nothing compared to the traits of a sociopath displayed by MSNBC commentators.

Donald Trump’s Phoenix rally speech revealed a man deteriorating before our very eyes  And yet he never seems to change. An odd definition of ‘deteriorate’. (Unexplained: How ‘the New Hitler’ could get any worse. Stay tuned.)

Donald Trump must be impeached ‘as soon as possible’, says former US Labour Secretary  Robert Reich emerges from a well-deserved obscurity whenever some media hack needs an anti-Republican quote. But nobody else ever seems to listen.

‘Blacks for Trump’: The strange story of the US President’s least likely fan who considers Oprah Winfrey the devil  All Trumps supporters must, of course, be portrayed by the Lamestream Media as oddities. After all, nobody they knew voted for Trump.

Ex-CIA agent seeking to crowdfund Twitter acquisition so that she can shut down Donald Trump’s account  Of course, if any Republican had announced that about Obama, the nuclear firestorm in the press would have blown the ozone layer away.

Companies Aren’t Talking About Trump Anymore on Earnings  Guess they found out that Trump isn’t a good excuse for their poor performance.

Donny Deutsch Takes to MSNBC to Diagnose Trump as a ‘Sociopath’  And of course an ad executive is qualified to diagnose somebody.

To the great disappointment of many, Trump remains President. Ah, well.

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“This is the future that ACLU members want.”

23rd August 2017

Steve Sailer understands the dialectic.

… and then the world came crashing down on their heads.

The ACLU has been fading relative to the SPLC for a long time. That’s because the SPLC is an overt hate group that sees virtually everything through the Who? Whom? lens. In contrast, the old-fashioned ACLU actually sometimes supports objective principles such as free speech.

Blink and you’ll miss it.

UPDATE: ACLU Apologizes For Tweeting Photo Of White Baby With U.S. Flag

Obviously a congenital Nazi.

‘When your Twitter followers keep you in check and remind you that white supremacy is everywhere’

Underneath your bed! In your sock drawer! In the toilet! OMYGAWD THEY’RE IN THE TRASH CAN!

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The Eclipse Is Racist Because It Fails to Affect Enough Black People, the Atlantic Suggests

20th August 2017

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The Atlantic, a once-great magazine, has determined that the total eclipse of the sun due to occur on Monday will fail to affect enough black people.

The Atlantic’s very lengthy essay on the failure of the eclipse to occur where a sufficient number of black people reside is entitled “American Blackout.” It clocks in at a remarkable 4,544 words and does not appear to be satire.

If it were National Review, or some other right-wing publication, it would almost certainly be satire.

But The Atlantic is far from being a right-wing publication, and is not known for satirizing SJW twitches.

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Prestigious Polling Firm: Let’s Call ‘Liberal Arts’ Something Else to Totally Fool Everybody

19th August 2017

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How about ‘Proglodyte Studies’? That would describe it better than Liberal Arts.

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Lincoln Statue Burned in 98% Black Neighborhood in Chicago, Trump Blamed

17th August 2017

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Of course. If somebody stubs a toe, it’s Trumps fault.

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A Lot of People Are Getting Injured While Shaving Their Pubic Hair

17th August 2017

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Perhaps they ought to consider, you know, not doing that.

Like tattoos and piercings, this strikes me as a sure-fire indicator of dorkitude.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 6 Comments »

Google Cancels Meeting on Diversity, Citing Safety Concerns

10th August 2017

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I guess they don’t want any more female employees having a meltdown.

UPDATE: Google cancels all-hands meeting due to employee worries of online harassment

Google CEO Sundar Pichai has canceled the company’s much anticipated meeting to talk about gender issues today. The move came after some of its employees expressed concern over online harassment they had begun to receive after their questions and names have been published outside the company on a variety of largely alt-right sites.

“We had hoped to have a frank, open discussion today as we always do to bring us together and move forward. But our Dory questions appeared externally this afternoon, and on some websites Googlers are now being named personally,” wrote Pichai to employees. “Googlers are writing in, concerned about their safety and worried they may be ‘outed’ publicly for asking a question in the Town Hall.”

Welcome to our world, Sundar. You can dish it out, but you can’t take it.

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Jon Ossoff To Join Panel On How Dems Can Win 2018

10th August 2017

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That’s the Democrat way to victory: Take advice from losers.

Put Hillary in charge, she’s the biggest loser of them all.

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‘Racist’ FaceApp Photo Filters Encouraged Users to Black Up

10th August 2017

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If you ‘identify’ as black even though all of your ancestors are white, hey, there’s an app for that.

Not Invented Here: An app to turn black people white. (After all, why give up that treasured victim status? Status that can be traded for valuable prizes, after all.)

‘Black up’ is, of course, a military term that I’m sure not one in a thousand of the people reading the article will recognize.

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The Hidden (and Not-So-Hidden) Racism In Kids’ Lit

6th August 2017

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In his new book, Was the Cat in the Hat Black? The Hidden Racism of Children’s Literature, and the Need for Diverse Books, Philip Nel studies the paradox of stories that are meant to nurture but can also do harm. An English professor at Kansas State University, Nel has probed racism in kids’ books in his classes and in previous books, and he uses this volume to highlight how dozens of beloved picture and chapter books leave negative messages in children’s minds. “No one wants to admit to enjoying something or liking something that perpetuates racial stereotypes. But we do, because a book can be beautiful and racist, a book can be a classic and racist, a book can be really pleasurable and also really racist.” For instance, one of Nel’s personal favorites, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, has a big problem in the Oompa Loompas. The characters, which were depicted in early editions as African pygmies, are portrayed as happy slaves, content to leave their native land behind and toil in a factory. Especially for children who are descendants of slaves, such messages can have a pernicious effect on how they interpret their value in the world.

I’m a racist, you’re a racist, he’s a racist, she’s a racist, wouldn’t you like to be a racist too?

Women and minorities hardest hit etc. etc.

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Vanderbilt Professor Says Math Education Is Sexist

4th August 2017

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Women and minorities hardest hit etc. etc.

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UPDATE: Not Being Stupid Is ‘Cognitive Privilege’ Now, Which Is Just Like White Privilege

29th July 2017

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If not worse.

The University of Iowa’s student newspaper has announced the discovery of a special privilege which intelligent people acquire as an accident of birth. This new privilege — called “cognitive privilege” — functions in essentially the same way as white privilege.

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Oh My: Kid Rock 30, Debbie Stabenow 26 6

23rd July 2017

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To gauge Ritchie’s chances in a hypothetical general election matchup, Delta Analytica conducted a poll from July 14-18 of 668 Michigan residents. Of respondents who stated a preference between Debbie Stabenow and Robert Ritchie, 54% stated they would vote for Ritchie while 46% said they would vote for Debbie Stabenow. These results could indicate that Ritchie is a popular figure in Michigan, Debbie Stabenow is unpopular, or some combination of concurrent trends. The relatively large, 44%, number of undecided respondents may be due to the early stages of the campaign.

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Gay Leather Bar Owner Runs for Governor in Texas

20th July 2017

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After Abortion Barbie, there was nowhere else to go….

Jeffrey Payne, who won the title of International Mr Leather in 2009, hopes to challenge the state’s current Republican governor, Greg Abbott, who announced his bid for reelection last week.

Sounds like the perfect Democrat candidate.

“Texas needs a Governor who believes in Real Texas Values, like integrity, honesty, freedom and independence,” Mr Payne said.

In other words, not a Democrat.

“We need to stop wasting our time and money on trivial legislation and start investing in finding ways to help Texans, their families, and their businesses prosper.”

At taxpayer expense, no doubt.

In an interview with CBS Dallas, Mr Payne said he does not think Texas voters will focus on his same-sex marriage – or, presumably, on his connections to the BDSM-tinged gay leather community.

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Irish Farmers to Create Seaweed Eating ‘Supercows’ in Bid to Fight Climate Change

19th July 2017

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The Irish: Saving civilization one cow at a time.

Now if we can only get them to stop farting….

 

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Tesla Solar Roof

16th July 2017

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They have a cost estimator. The cost of the roof for my house would exceed the price of the house, and the savings would not pay for it over the estimated life of the roof. Plus firefighters refuse to go onto roofs with solar panels because they’re unsafe.

Elon: Try again.

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MEDIA NATION: CNN Anchor Doesn’t Recognize US National Anthem

13th July 2017

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Harlow was covering President Trump’s arrival in Paris, France to meet with French president Emmanuel Macron. After the two world leaders shook hands, they stood together as a band played the United States national anthem.

However, Harlow cut to the scene by saying, “Let’s just listen in to the French national anthem for just a moment.”

Why should she? It’s Not Her Country.

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Woman Whose Husband Died on Sofa After Argument Finds Love With His Brother

12th July 2017

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No, that doesn’t sound suspicious at all.

 

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Enviros Think Solar Panels Along Keystone Pipeline Route Will Shame Developers Into Giving Up

12th July 2017

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I’m waiting for them to kill a chicken and sprinkle it’s blood on the pipeline path. That will stop them for sure.

Surely somewhere some time a Skraeling tribe did that sort of thing. it sounds like the sort of thing that they would do. Or maybe some Antifa protesters; I always get them mixed up.

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Greeks Are Suddenly Worshiping Ancient Greek Gods All Over Again

12th July 2017

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Yeah, that sure worked the first time.

Maybe Zeus will bail out their economy. Hey, it could happen.

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Seattle Councilman: Cleaning Poop Off Sidewalks Is Racist

12th July 2017

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A Seattle, Wash., councilman implied that a new effort to clean excrement off the side walk outside the local courthouse could be racist Tuesday.

The crime and smell of urine and excrement have gotten so bad outside a King County courthouse that two judges are scrambling to find ways to fix the situation, reports the Seattle Times.

Seattle councilmember Larry Gossett isn’t a fan of one solution to power wash the feces sidewalks to tamp down on the smell. Power washing the sidewalks is too reminiscent of civil rights activists being hosed down, he said.

Something in the water of the Pacific that washes the Left Coast works to lower IQ.

The government ought to do something.

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This Protester Used Virtue Signaling At Its Finest

29th June 2017

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A woman attending a Planned Parenthood protest Wednesday afternoon on Capitol Hill held a sign signaling to the world how much greater her virtues were than any Republican, or American, supporting the Obamacare repeal effort.

“I don’t know how to convince you to care about others,” the sign read.

Hundreds of protestors marched to express their disdain for Senate Republicans’ bill to repeal major portions of Obamacare. The most consistent complaints of the Senate bill among those in attendance were the 1-year cut to Planned Parenthood funding and the steep cuts to Medicaid.

The obvious response is ‘I don’t know how to convince you to mind your own fucking business and keep your nose out of mine (and your hand out of my pocket).’ But that doesn’t fit conveniently on a sign.

And of course anyone who supports abortion-mill Planned Parenthood has no standing from which to criticize other people about ‘not caring about others’.

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Study Finds: Corn Better Used as Food Than Biofuel

21st June 2017

Read it.

Duh.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Man Dies After Going Over Niagara Falls in an Inflatable Ball

16th June 2017

Read it.

Think of it as evolution in action.

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VA Gov. McAuliffe: ‘We Lose 93 Million Americans a Day to Gun Violence’

14th June 2017

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Guess he forgot to take his shoes off.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Russian Malware Communicates by Leaving Comments in Britney Spears’s Instagram account

9th June 2017

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Well, that’s the way I’d do it.

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CNN Hypes Pregnant ‘Man’

9th June 2017

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CNN reported today that trans man Trystan Reese “is not just a guy with a beer belly.” He’s a man who is in his third trimester of pregnancy.

The trans man, who, according to CNN reporters Carma Hassan and Dakin Andone, “was assigned the female gender at birth,” apparently never wanted to change his body parts.

Our ruling class is literally insane.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »

Clay Travis Offers $50,000 to Charity If Shaun King Takes DNA Test

7th June 2017

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Travis tweeted, “Hey @shaunking, I’ll give $50k to Colin Kaepernick’s charity if you take a DNA test and are more than 25% black.”

Now that’s comedy.

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Thought for the Day

5th June 2017

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 5 Comments »

Alt-Left Insanity: Don’t Blame Muslims for Terror Done By … Muslims

2nd June 2017

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By all rights, this should be the climate change/Kathy Griffin/Scott Pelley/covfefe edition. Those are just the big stories that broke in the last 48 hours. The news cycle is just as insane as the news media covering it.

Trump has ditched the Paris climate non-treaty (never approved by the Senate). Nearly talentless comedian Kathy Griffin has dropped from the D List so far that she’s nearly caught me in F+ celebrity land and even lefty CNN dropped her. (After Squatty Potty!) CBS cut anti-Trump anchor Scott Pelley from its evening news and sent him into 60 Minutes exile. And the media went nuts over another Trump tweet — obsessing over a typo.

And on a day of a huge victory for Trump by exiting the Paris Climate Accords, thrilling conservatives (even ones who opposed him), Alternet pretends Trump support is weakening. “Could Donald Trump’s Base Finally Be Turning on the President?” it asked.

Nope. But it shows how out of touch the alt-lefty media has become.

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Tell Helicopter Mama

28th May 2017

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Last Thursday night police were called to a noisy party in Cambridgeshire. When they arrived and heard the audio of a YouTube video on the karaoke machine mocking Osama Bin Laden, it triggered a policechick, who then pressed her panic button and called in reinforcements from headquarters. Ten more police officers and a helicopter were sent to quell the dangerous extremists who threw the party.

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Many Democrats Agree That Losing In Montana Is Actually A Win

26th May 2017

Read it.

I suspect that’s why they keep losing.

As Democrat delusions go, though, it’s pretty minor.

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Thought of the Day

22nd May 2017

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“Cowshed” and Cow Sheds

20th May 2017

Peter Robinson shows his age.

No one who had ever encountered a real cow shed, or who had ever even heard a just description of a cow shed, would ever, ever have given the name of “Cowshed” to a line of toiletries.

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Man Dies After Setting Himself on Fire During Facebook Live Stream

15th May 2017

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Let that be a lesson to us all.

Think of it as evolution in action.

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