DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Archive for the 'You can’t make this stuff up.' Category

Study Finds: Corn Better Used as Food Than Biofuel

21st June 2017

Read it.

Duh.

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Man Dies After Going Over Niagara Falls in an Inflatable Ball

16th June 2017

Read it.

Think of it as evolution in action.

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VA Gov. McAuliffe: ‘We Lose 93 Million Americans a Day to Gun Violence’

14th June 2017

Read it.

Guess he forgot to take his shoes off.

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Russian Malware Communicates by Leaving Comments in Britney Spears’s Instagram account

9th June 2017

Read it.

Well, that’s the way I’d do it.

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CNN Hypes Pregnant ‘Man’

9th June 2017

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CNN reported today that trans man Trystan Reese “is not just a guy with a beer belly.” He’s a man who is in his third trimester of pregnancy.

The trans man, who, according to CNN reporters Carma Hassan and Dakin Andone, “was assigned the female gender at birth,” apparently never wanted to change his body parts.

Our ruling class is literally insane.

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Clay Travis Offers $50,000 to Charity If Shaun King Takes DNA Test

7th June 2017

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Travis tweeted, “Hey @shaunking, I’ll give $50k to Colin Kaepernick’s charity if you take a DNA test and are more than 25% black.”

Now that’s comedy.

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Thought for the Day

5th June 2017

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Alt-Left Insanity: Don’t Blame Muslims for Terror Done By … Muslims

2nd June 2017

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By all rights, this should be the climate change/Kathy Griffin/Scott Pelley/covfefe edition. Those are just the big stories that broke in the last 48 hours. The news cycle is just as insane as the news media covering it.

Trump has ditched the Paris climate non-treaty (never approved by the Senate). Nearly talentless comedian Kathy Griffin has dropped from the D List so far that she’s nearly caught me in F+ celebrity land and even lefty CNN dropped her. (After Squatty Potty!) CBS cut anti-Trump anchor Scott Pelley from its evening news and sent him into 60 Minutes exile. And the media went nuts over another Trump tweet — obsessing over a typo.

And on a day of a huge victory for Trump by exiting the Paris Climate Accords, thrilling conservatives (even ones who opposed him), Alternet pretends Trump support is weakening. “Could Donald Trump’s Base Finally Be Turning on the President?” it asked.

Nope. But it shows how out of touch the alt-lefty media has become.

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Tell Helicopter Mama

28th May 2017

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Last Thursday night police were called to a noisy party in Cambridgeshire. When they arrived and heard the audio of a YouTube video on the karaoke machine mocking Osama Bin Laden, it triggered a policechick, who then pressed her panic button and called in reinforcements from headquarters. Ten more police officers and a helicopter were sent to quell the dangerous extremists who threw the party.

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Many Democrats Agree That Losing In Montana Is Actually A Win

26th May 2017

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I suspect that’s why they keep losing.

As Democrat delusions go, though, it’s pretty minor.

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Thought of the Day

22nd May 2017

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“Cowshed” and Cow Sheds

20th May 2017

Peter Robinson shows his age.

No one who had ever encountered a real cow shed, or who had ever even heard a just description of a cow shed, would ever, ever have given the name of “Cowshed” to a line of toiletries.

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Man Dies After Setting Himself on Fire During Facebook Live Stream

15th May 2017

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Let that be a lesson to us all.

Think of it as evolution in action.

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Joss Whedon’s Message for Mother’s Day: I’m Glad My Mom Is Dead, Because Trump

15th May 2017

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Out of all the celebrities who’ve had nervous breakdowns since Nov. 8, 2016, nobody’s breakdown has been more nervous than Joss Whedon’s.

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Monday Mirthiness: #Dilbert Gets Mann-handled

15th May 2017

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Scott Adams has increasingly demonstrated that he won’t put up with alt-Left nuttiness, with the predictable response from the radical fringe.

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People Are Marrying Themselves, It’s Called ‘Sologamy’

15th May 2017

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A new synomym for ‘idiocy’.

I predict that these morons are not Republicans.

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Police Investigate a Cult Killing; It Turns Out to Be a Rock Video

12th May 2017

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Tell the truth: These days, who could tell the difference? I certainly couldn’t.

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Just When You Thought That Democrats Had Reached the Edge: Vermont Sen. Angus King Wants to Hire Former FBI Director Jim Comey to Lead an Independent Investigation Into Any Ties Between Trump Advisers and the Russian Government.

10th May 2017

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Well, he’s not doing anything right now and would probably appreciate a job offer.

Maybe we could hire Mike Flynn to investigate his ties to the Russians. Yeah, that’s the ticket….

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Bernie Sanders Is Touring the UK

10th May 2017

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Guess they don’t have enough angry old white male socialists in Britain; they have to import them.

Well, if he can run for the Democrat Presidential nomination while an independent, maybe he can run for a Labour seat in Parliament as an American. After all, Britain has been Feeling the Bern since 1945.

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‘Democrat’ Is a Mental Disorder

8th May 2017

This Website Will Mail Your Ashes To The GOP If Trumpcare Kills You. Really.

Makes you wonder how all these people avoided dying before Obamacare. I never noticed that all these Victim Groups were dying like flies before Obama took office. I guess I must have missed all the bodies piling up in the streets.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Democrats: Bringing the H8

8th May 2017

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An Art Institute of Washington professor recently declared that House Republicans “should be lined up and shot” for their passage of an Obamacare-replacement bill.

“They should be lined up and shot,” Professor John Griffin posted to his Facebook, according to a screenshot of the post obtained by Campus Reform, even clarifying that he wasn’t being hyperbolic, saying “that’s not hyperbole; blood is on their hands.”

Funny how you never hear anybody say that Democrats ought to be lined up and shot.

And yet Trump is supposedly the New Hitler.

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Students Left a Pineapple in the Middle of an Exhibition and People Mistook It for Art

8th May 2017

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Ruairi Gray, a business information technology student at Robert Gordon University in Scotland, and his friend Lloyd Jack, reportedly left the fruit at the Look Again exhibition at RGU’s Sir Ian Wood building, hoping that it might be mistaken for art.

When they returned four days later he found that the pineapple had been put inside its own glass display case at the event.

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Trayvon Martin to Be Awarded Posthumous Degree by Florida University

6th May 2017

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Just another instance of White Privilege, I guess.

Being a black druggie thug appears to be the way to fame and fortune in modern America. That would certainly explain a lot about Barack Obama, though.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

International Respect for Chickens Day

4th May 2017

Read it. And watch the videos.

With thanks to Debby Witt, a kindred soul.

(Whenever I hear Foghorn Leghorn, I always think of Tommy Lee Jones.)

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Huge Spring Snowstorm Dampens March for Climate Events In Colorado

29th April 2017

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Was AlGore on hand? He’s usually the guy that triggers these events.

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Bear in West Bank Zoo Bites Off Palestinian Boy’s Arm and Eats It

26th April 2017

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Will the Islamophobia never cease?

Funny, the bear didn’t look Jewish….

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Witches in San Diego Curse Trump

25th April 2017

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And here I thought it was more pictures of the ‘Science March’. Hard to tell without a scorecard sometimes.

I suppose it’s about all they’ve got left (no pun intended).

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

The “March for Science”–No Laughing Matter? Says Who?

20th April 2017

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Back in February, Yale Computer Science Professor David Gelernter, who may become the next White House science advisor, had this to say about the upcoming March for Science and its organizers: “It’s like this is some sort of Looney Tunes thing. I must be trapped in an alternate reality. They couldn’t possibly be serious.”

But with science marches now scheduled in many cities for this Saturday, timed to coincide with Earth Day, the organizers obviously are serious. Too serious, in our view. Using street protests to handle scientific controversies like climate change is only a few steps above using animal sacrifice.

I suppose that’s next on the agenda — ‘Wiccans for Climate Science’.

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America’s Most Political Food

19th April 2017

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Southern food as seen from the Upper West Side.

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The Ossoff Variations

19th April 2017

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America Rising has posted a clip of Ossoff fielding questions from CNN’s Alisyn Camerota (video below). Following up on reports that Ossoff doesn’t even live in the district, Camerota asks him: “Is it true you can’t vote for yourself?” After a painful silence, Ossoff talks around the question. He has been living with his girlfriend of 12 years, he explains, and he is supporting her as she completes her education.

Camerota asks: “So when are you going to marry her?” He’ll get back to her on that one.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Proposed Chick-fil-A Has Students at Duquesne Aflutter About Microaggressions

14th April 2017

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A gay student group at Duquesne University fears that a proposed Chick-fil-A outpost could jeopardize the school’s safe spaces.

I can see how waffle fries could be a threat.

“Chick-fil-A has a questionable history on civil rights and human rights,” Lambda executive board members Niko Martini told The Duke (the university’s student newspaper).

No, it doesn’t. You just think it does because you believe all the lies in the DemLegHump Media. ‘Oh, somebody told me once that they’re racist/sexist/bigoted/Islamophobic/transophobic/xenophobic/this-ophobic/that-ophobic/anythingyouwant-ophobic/YourNameHere-ophobic, and that’s good enough for me.’

Being a Lefty college student these days means spending all your time looking for ‘phobes’ rather than studying, apparently.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

Rube Goldberg’s Passover Seder

9th April 2017

Read it. And don’t fail to watch the video.

 

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3 Companies That Give Staff Paid Time Off When They Get a Puppy

2nd April 2017

Read it.

Learn their names, and avoid their products, which are undoubtedly hipster crap.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »

Transgender People Are Now Oppressed Because ‘Pussy Hats’ ‘Equate Womanhood With Having a Vagina’

29th March 2017

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There’s no pleasing some people.,

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Naked Group Slaughters Sheep at Auschwitz Death Camp

25th March 2017

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Perhaps they’re witches trying to curse Trump. I’ve heard that happens.

Or it could be part of the Democrat filibuster of Goresuch. You never really know.

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Professor Calls Curing Deafness In Children ‘CULTURAL GENOCIDE’

14th March 2017

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A professor at America’s premier college for deaf students has now proposed that curing deafness is a form of “cultural genocide” because deaf people who can hear would stop using sign language.

Well, yeah, that’s the idea. (More to the point, it would break the rice bowl of professors at colleges for deaf students.)

“This bias of Hearing culture can be seen in the normative claim that it is better to be a member of the dominant, mainstream Hearing cultural community than to be a member of the non-dominant Deaf cultural community,” Burke writes.

Ableism is CrimeThink!

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New York to Scrap Literacy Test for Teachers in the Name of Diversity

12th March 2017

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After all, if it takes a village to raise a child, most villages in the world are illiterate anyway.

Prospective teachers in New York will likely no longer have to pass a basic reading and writing literacy exam, the Associated Press is reporting.

The state’s Board of Regents is expected to ditch the Academic Literacy Skills Test in part because black and Hispanic teaching candidates struggled to pass the exam, according to the AP.

The rights of Official Victims to a job surely outweighs the rights of some random kids to get taught.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 2 Comments »

Who Wears the Pussy Hat in the Family?

9th March 2017

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Donald Trump doesn’t have to make Sweden into a laughingstock; the Swedes are quite capable of doing it themselves.

The brief article below concerns the board of the Construction Workers’ Union and the wearing of pussy hats, the latest mandatory item of apparel for all self-respecting Progressives.

Don’t let the color fool you, it’s actually the pointed-haired-boss hat.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 1 Comment »

ALRIGHTY THEN: Coddled Ladies at $65,992-Per-Year College Vow Not to Build Trump’s Border Wall

8th March 2017

Read it.

That’s fair.

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Authentic Black Woman Rachel Dolezal Just Changed Her Name, And It’s Beautiful

2nd March 2017

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Rachel Dolezal, the former head of Spokane, Washington’s NAACP chapter who claimed to be black before her parents ‘outed’ her as white, officially changed her name to Nkechi Amare Diallo in a Washington court in October, legal documents obtained by DailyMail.com show.

I guess ‘Elvira, Queen of the Night’ was already taken.

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U CAN’T TOUCH THIS: Taxpayer-Funded Clemson University Mulls Rap Album Ph.D. Dissertation

27th February 2017

Read it. And by all means watch the video.

The budding, would-be Ph.D. rapper, A.D. Carson, defended his urban street poetry dissertation in Clemson’s rhetorics, communication and information design program last week, according to Inside Higher Education.

“The dissertation is really just a — man, that’s like, in a real, practical way just it’s, uh, it’s a rap album,” Carson says in a YouTube video about busting rhymes to acquire a Ph.D. “Rather than it being, like, about rap or it being about, like, spoken word, it’s actually done through those particular modes of presentation.”

Sounds like a modern PhD to me.

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US Art Museum Removes All Works by Immigrants to Protest Donald Trump’s Travel Ban

17th February 2017

Read it.

Now this is just getting silly.

Notice that they took no action about Obama’s similar travel ban — which shows that this is just political posturing.

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Now You Can Wear a Puzzle-Piece Pin to Show How Bad You Feel About Being White

15th February 2017

Read it.

If, of course, that’s what you want to do.

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DeVos Opponents Think About Homeschooling Instead.

10th February 2017

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There’s going to be a temptation to want to publicly mock those on the left who have responded to the confirmation of Betsy DeVos as secretary of education by suggesting they could pull their kids out of the public school system as a form of boycott.

This is like the Russians pulling out of Ukraine because Trump. That’ll teach ’em! Oh, wait….

Rabbit, meet briar patch.

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Man’s Has 63kg Tumour Removed by Doctors Who Say It Likely Began as Ingrown Hair

7th February 2017

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Let that be a lesson to us all.

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Wife Leaves Husband Because He Voted For Trump

7th February 2017

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Gayle McCormick, a retired California prison guard, left her husband of 22 years, reports the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

McCormick claimed that her husband announced over lunch one day last year that he planned to support Trump. McCormick, who calls herself a “Democrat leaning toward socialist,” said the announcement was a “deal-breaker.”

I suspect that he will probably be better off.

 

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Thought for the Day

6th February 2017

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Hundreds Plan to Moon Trump Tower to Get Trump to Release His Tax Returns

3rd February 2017

Read it.

Yeah, that’ll work.

Why is everyone on the Left so deranged? Is it some genetic defect?

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Famous Berkeley Prof Suggests That Violent Protesters at Milo Event Were Right-Wing Plants

3rd February 2017

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Robert Reich, the Labor Secretary under Bill Clinton and a Berkeley professor, suggested on Thursday, contrary to all evidence, that right-wing groups staged the violence that shut down a Milo Yiannopoulos event that was to be hosted on the liberal university campus on Wednesday.

I finally figured out how he got so short — somebody cut his brain off.

Posted in You can't make this stuff up. | 4 Comments »

Prof Screams at the NYPD Because They Didn’t Beat Up ‘Nazi’ Gavin McInnes

3rd February 2017

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Well, you know, professors are pretty highly strung.

McInnes was there to give a talk to students, but was incessantly interrupted by hecklers. Afterward, masked black bloc protesters assaulted the controversial former Fox News personality and sprayed him with mace. Eleven people were eventually arrested.

“I saw Gavin McInnes and I wanted to punch him in the fucking face, but he got away,” said one protester.

And yet Trump is the New Hitler. Go figure.

“You are fucking assholes!” the professor shouted at the New York Police Department (NYPD). “You’re protecting the Nazis!”

Oddly enough, it wasn’t McInnes who was beating people up, but the professor’s friends. I think that word doesn’t mean what you think it means.

“These are kids who are trying to learn about humanity!” she said. “They’re trying to learn about human rights and against racism and xenophobia, and LGBTQ rights, and you’re letting these fucking neo-nazis near here! It’s not up to these students to kick the ass of a neo-nazi! They don’t have to raise their fist! They were taught to be peaceful! Fuck you!”

I think she may not have a very good grasp on the meaning of ‘peaceful’, either.

I guess it doesn’t take much to be a professor nowadays.

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