Apple Cores Are a Myth
19th November 2013
Earlier this year, in “How to Eat Apples Like a Boss,” a video by Foodbeast, the Internet was promised the gift of confidence in apple-eating. Elie Ayrouth ate an apple starting at the bottom, proceeding to up to the top, and finishing with a wink to the camera, as bosses do. Eating as such, Foodbeast said, the core “disappears.”
I do them one better and say that it never existed. The core is a product of society, man. There is a thin fibrous band, smaller in diameter than a pencil and not bad to the taste. If you eat your apple vertically, it is not noticeable.
Ponder a publication that pays somebody to write about how to eat apples. (You know he didn’t write that for free.)
Ponder a society in which how much of an apple to eat is a controversy worthy of discussion in a national publication. (Message from the Third World: ‘Give me the fucking apple and I’ll make it disappear. No more problem.’)