The Week That Perished
12th August 2013
TakiMag has some fun with some very fun people.
As the story goes, Oprah was ogling a $38,000 handbag at a Zurich boutique a month or so ago when a Swiss clerk allegedly told her it would be “too expensive” for her to purchase. The former queen of daytime talk shows, who’s now doing publicity for her film The Butler and apparently can use some press hype, threw an old-school Congo conniption and blamed the incident on—what else?—racism. Although the store clerk disputes crucial details, the Associated Press deemed the event a “racist encounter” and Switzerland’s national tourism office proffered a slobbering apology.
Looking at her skin color, weight, and gender, it’s obvious that Oprah belongs in Congress.
In what is perhaps the most disjointed and nonsensical essay ever to appear on the Internet, a female Yahoo! scrivener took talk-show host Chelsea Handler to task for not, er, um, properly handling the fact that her grandfather owned a book with a swastika on it, even though he “probably wasn’t a full-blown Nazi.” Handler is commended for being Jewish and scolded for failing to realize that “this is, you know, HITLER. Slow. It. Down.” Is. It. Wrong. To. Think. That. People. Who. Put. Periods. After. Every. Word. Like. That. Should. Be. Exterminated?
I’m in.