DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

UK: The Man Who Fell to Earth

14th April 2013

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The man who spread himself across a street in Mortlake, London, after falling from an aircraft undercarriage has been identified. Police finally managed to crack open the SIM in his pocket and study it to discover who he was.

Jose Matada was the chap’s name and he was 30 years old, the BBC tells us. He landed on Portman Avenue with a “massive bang” at 7.42am on 8 September last year, but the impact of the fall made identifying him a huge challenge.

An aeroplane from Angola was coming into Heathrow at the time, and would have dropped its landing gear at roughly the right moment to place the bloke on that street. But despite creating a photofit of his face and circulating copies of his tattoos, it was the SIM that finally gave investigating officers a name.

You don’t want to be the guy who they identify by his tattoos. Trust me on this.

One Response to “UK: The Man Who Fell to Earth”

  1. lowly Says:

    Eager immigrant, great loss to England.