DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

How to Avoid Going to Jail under 18 U.S.C. Section 1001 for Lying to Government Agents

19th September 2011

Read it.

Did you know that it is a crime to tell a lie to the federal government? Even if your lie is oral and not under oath? Even if you have received no warnings of any kind? Even if you are not trying to cheat the government out of money? Even if the government is not actually misled by your falsehood? Well it is.

Even if it’s not a lie because you thought you were telling the truth, but they can make it look like a lie to a judge or jury? Yup. (Sure, the statute says ‘knowingly and willfully’, but that refers to what they can make it look like, not what is.)

The best option is to do a Sgt. Schultz: Say nothing.

For example, if you lie to your employer on your time and attendance records and, unbeknownst to you, he submits your records, along with those of other employees, to the federal government pursuant to some regulatory duty, you could be criminally liable.

‘Oh, but I have nothing to hide. I want to cooperate.’ Two words: Martha Stewart. Not enough? Two more: Scooter Libby.

It may be true that most federal agents and prosecutors are decent people who would not intentionally abuse Section 1001. Moreover, it is very important from a law enforcement perspective for federal agents to be able to informally question witnesses during the initial stages of an investigation. And certainly citizens are under no obligation to speak to a law enforcement agent in the first place, although, as shown below, it is essential to learn how to decline to speak to government officers. But power corrupts, and the potential for abuse of this statute is great, especially during periods of public outcry over corporate and other white-collar crimes. When we reflect upon how many petty rules and regulations get broken and how many white lies are told during the course of an average American business day, it is apparent that Section 1001 can easily be applied and misapplied to normally upstanding folk.

Do you really want your future to depend on the honor or honesty of a government employee? Three letters: TSA.

Keep it zipped. No exceptions.

 

3 Responses to “How to Avoid Going to Jail under 18 U.S.C. Section 1001 for Lying to Government Agents”

  1. Whitehawk Says:

    Thanks for the tip. I had no idea.

  2. Dennis Nagle Says:

    Never trust the Gubmint, Whitehawk.

  3. RealRick Says:

    The Fifth Amendment is part of that whole Constitution thing that seems to be going out of favor in Washington.