DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Facebook Line & Sinker

2nd April 2011

Lynn Viehl, famous writer (read her books), learns why Tim avoids Facebook.

The second — the absolute split second — I created a Facebook account I got slammed. Two people instantly wanted to be my Friends (they must hook up something that reads the e-mail address you use to create the account that other people are watching for; both people send me endless amounts of SPAM on my regular e-mail.) Facebook demanded all kinds of personal information from me, too: what school had I gone to, who were my friends, who did I want to invite to be my friends, yada yada yada.

I skipped all that and went to make my profile private. No such luck. I could, however, put up a picture of myself. Tell everyone all about me on my permanently public profile. Stuff started popping up on the sidebar for me to buy, join, check out, etc. And the questions, God. Have you done this? Why not? You’d better do this. And this. My security was too low, fix that.

In two minutes so much crap was thrown at me I almost gave up. But I really wanted to enter the contest, so I skipped as much as I could, put phony info in the stuff I couldn’t, and finally verified it all. At last. I could go to the contest page and get this over with one and for all.

Here’s the real irony: on the contest page? The link to enter the contest didn’t work. So I joined Facebook and went through all that nonsense for nothing.

My, what a surprise. Aren’t you surprised? I’m sure surprised.

Anyway. I took great pleasure in going to the account settings page so I could delete the stupid account. Only I discovered that I couldn’t delete it; I was only given the option of “deactivating” the account. And before I could do that, I had to tell them why I was deactivating it. I had to explain myself by checking off one of their reason boxes (none of which said “You’re pushy, intrusive dumbasses and I don’t want you anywhere near me or my e-mail”.)

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