‘Please don’t take us back to Dallas’
21st February 2011
Terry Wogan wants to let sleeping soaps lie.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that while there’s a lot more television around, a) it’s not any better than when we had only a couple of things to look at; and b) more choice does not necessarily mean greater variety. Quantity has never been equated with quality, and choice only works if you have a wide selection from which to choose. It’s fine, if you’re happy to cherry-pick from a hundred cookery, antiques, property, hospital, police, wildlife, talent, dance-on-ice, ballroom and “reality” programmes. It’s all the fault of the “focus” group, initiated by people unwilling to accept that television is an inexact science. So, you ask the people what they want, and you give it to them. “Simples!” But since people can only base their likes or dislikes on what they’ve seen, it can only lead to predictable repetition of the same old thing.
There’s more: they’re about to resuscitate Dallas. Don’t do it. Leave us with our memories: Sue Ellen, picking her hair out of her teeth by the windswept swimming-pool at Southfork, home of the Ewings, rich as Croesus, with just one phone, and walk-in wardrobes with wire coat-hangers. With all that oil money, no back garden, so all parties, and even weddings, were held on the tarmac drive.