Lileks on Christmas Shopping
10th December 2010
Retail sales are up this year, and that’s good. Right? No! People going into debt for stupid things they don’t need! It’s wrong and you’re all sheep and I’ll be sitting here in this dark corner writing a 40,000-word post on the Internet about the pagan origins of Christmas, because that’ll show ’em, and — say, this ad says it’s 97 percent off on solar-powered nose-hair trimmers. OK, off to the mall.
The sign said Santa would be taking pictures with pets tonight, and you wonder how far people take that. Santa, his once-ruddy face as pale as his beard, holding a 6-foot snake with tongs. Santa caught with that look of surprise that only comes when the ferret disappears down the trousers. Santa, with another dog wondering why this big man smells of so many different animals. For a dog, that’s like meeting a guy who speaks four dozen languages.
And that about sums it up. But read the whole thing.