DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Hold the Apps, Please

12th November 2010

Lynn Viehl enjoyed this conversation entirely too much.

Now he stared at me. “You don’t have any apps on your phone?” In the same tone someone might ask, “You don’t have any panties on?”

To show him I wasn’t lying, I took out the disposable cell phone I’ve been lugging around for the last four years. It still has nearly all of the 1300 minutes I got for free when the disposable phone company forced me to give up the original phone I bought (seven years ago) because their equipment no longer supported the clunky old thing (they also gave me a newer, slimmer phone for free.) P.S., it also has another 1200 free minutes I’ve collected over the last four years when I renew my airtime.

The nice young man examined it with the awe of an Egyptologist discovering a lost king’s tomb. “What does it do?”

“It sends and receives phone calls.” I thought for a minute. “And it rings. That’s pretty much it.” Before he could launch into the “But don’t you want a phone that can take pictures, check the internet, play music, access Twitter and Facebook, realign the Hubble” speech I added, “That’s all I need it to do.”

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