Dear University Alumni Office
3rd May 2010
Really, that’s about all you did for us — gave us a lecture hall, gave us an arrogant bastard to listen to, and gave us a room full of computers we could use sometimes, and you gave us a degree that employers look at and say “This guy knows how to write reports. Amusing.” And I will be paying for this privilege until I am 51 years old.
Whenever I get a ‘give us money’ message from one of the three institutions from which I hold a degree, I always write ‘BITE ME’ on it in large black maker and send it back in the convenient reply envelope. That quiets things down for about six months.