There Is No Mr. Rochester
2nd April 2024
The internet has a lot to say about whom we should marry. From memes about the ideal woman to viral posts about how much money a man should spend on a first date and pseudo-scientific lectures about why women break up with their boyfriends, we are inundated with pronouncements about how to find (or be) the perfect mate. While it would be easy to dismiss all this as the shallow-minded mishigas of the very young, that misses the point: everyone is desperate for love, but no one seems able to find it.
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The young want to be loved the way that Mr. Rochester loves Jane in Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre. It’s my favorite love story, and I’ve been rereading it lately. Every time I get to the proposal scene—that moment where Rochester tells Jane, “You—you strange, you almost unearthly thing!—I love as my own flesh,”—I feel an almost unbearable yearning. Happily married and settled as I am, I feel a heart-cracking ache that is both exquisite and devastating.
But the problem is, no one can see and know and love us the way Rochester loves Jane. Because Rochester is Jane. He’s a creation of the same mind that created her. This is true for any great fictional love story—Pride and Prejudice, Cinderella, Romeo and Juliet, take your pick. We look at these lovers and think, “Yes! That! That is what I want!” And then we look at our actual lover—or some potential lover—and think, “Why can’t you be that?”
Read THE RATIONAL MALE by Rollo Tomassi. Then search for ‘red pill’ on YouTube.d