DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

I’m on a deserted island. How can I tell which plants are poisonous?

23rd January 2010

Read it.

The traditional method, which admittedly works better on a group-project basis, is to try some. If you throw up, get convulsions, or die, it’s poisonous. The scientific method, as explained in the U.S. Army Survival Manual, is to memorize the local edible plants prior to getting marooned. Too late for that? The implicit message of the manual is: soldier, you’re hosed. However, it does offer a plan B, namely the 13-step Universal Edibility Test. This boils down to cautiously trying whatever potential edible you have a lot of and seeing if you throw up, get convulsions, or die.

Don’t you feel better now? I know I do.

Comments are closed.