Special-Needs Nation
13th January 2023
When I’m asked why I never had kids, my standard answer is, I’ve spent my life in mortal fear of being tethered to another human in a manner from which I can’t legally walk away if I choose.
That’s an honest answer, but it’s not the complete one. The second part, which I always leave out, is that I was petrified of having a tard. There’s no history of tardiness in my family. But no matter your family history, having kids is always a roll of the DNA dice, and I couldn’t face the possibility of having a child who would be, shall we say, more work and less payoff.
Yes, that’s a terribly unflattering thing to admit. But it’s true.
My younger brother is a proglodyte. That’s not officially a tard, but the ultimate effect is the same. That’s one out of three of my parents’ kids. Not a chance I’m willing to take.