Safe Sex: The World-ending Consequences
6th December 2022
Babies are a huge opportunity cost. Financially speaking, they are like winning the lottery but backwards. You can’t even think of having one without cancelling your subscription to a good night’s sleep. And if you take into account inflation, economic recession, and the rest of the news cycle’s highlight reel, even a one-child family can seem to have one too many mouths to fish Lego pieces out of. Honestly, I don’t see how babies could possibly come back as the preferred lifestyle choice for couples in their 20s unless they start powdering their own butts and side-hustling on Fiverr to cover some of their expenses.
And don’t get me wrong, I love a childless plane ride as much as the next coach-flying light sleeper, but at this pace, the world’s population is going to flatline at around 10 billion in 50 years, and then what? We’re all gonna smell of damp old book by then, and if we don’t spawn enough young blood now we’re gonna see the extinction of the soccer mum van — for there won’t be enough kids to even fill up the seats of a Vespa moped.