DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

We have seen the future, and it sucks.

Booze and Socialism

8th November 2022

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My mate and I have noted our supply of various spirits is running out just in time for the holidays. What this means is undertaking a two-hour road trip to an adjacent state where we can shop in a pleasant, supermarket-style store stocked with spirits and wine from across the country and around the world. The knowledgeable staff will help us choose new brands based on our tastes. We will drop several hundred dollars and return across the river with enough to get through the long, dreary winter. I will try and find a good brand of cinnamon whisky which, in my experience, is a highly effective cold medicine.

We cannot get this in our home state. Why? Because our state has a “Liquor Control Commission,” a relic of Progressive and Prohibition-Era socialism that “appoints private businesses to act as its agents and sell its products in exchange for a commission.” In effect, it protects a crony market of crappy, hole-in-the-wall liquor stores staffed by surly, resentful employees, and limits beverage selections to those it deems worthy of being sold in our state. It also regulates what brands of liquor can be distributed within the state, which is why (I suspect) the only cinnamon whisky on sale around here is ‘Fireball.’ Which is… not that good.

The store we go to is part of a national chain. The reason they do not operate in this state is because of this part of the Liquor Commission’s power: “Normal proof spirits (>21% ABV) are sold only in a limited number of agent stores.” I imagine securing a permit to be one of those “limited number of agent stores” is a hotbed of paybacks and backroom deals with some organized crime thrown in.

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