Identity Fetishism
24th May 2021
Severian has an Uncanny Valley moment.
For my lunch break yesterday, I stopped by the convenience store to grab a burger. The store is located right next door to a post office. Just as I’m getting out of my car, this guy roars up on a Harley. He looked exactly what popped into your head when you read “roared up on a Harley” — big dude, bandana over his hair, beard down to his sternum, leather vest, sleeve tattoos, earring, greasy jeans, roach-stomper boots….
….and a mask. A bright blue disposable one, the kind they used to hand out at doc-in-the-box if you came in with the real flu. This tiny little patch of corrugated blue fabric looked so incongruous on that big hairy face that I almost burst out laughing — “yo, big kahuna, that little bitty bit of cloth surrounded by beard makes you look like a centerfold from the 1970s.” But I didn’t, of course, because this guy would kick my ass…
…
Try as I might, I could only come up with two explanations. The first was that this guy really believed the Kung Flu Kraziness. I know, I know, but people believe lots of shit, in all apparent seriousness, that runs directly counter to their lifestyles. In my academic career, for instance, I was surrounded by people who would run screaming in terror if you offered them a cigarette — so unhealthy!! — but smoked unfiltered ditch weed daily. So maybe Billy Badass, though trying his damnedest to give the impression that he’s the kind of guy with a knife in his boot, really was worried about catching The Coof.
The other, of course, was that he’s faking, and all that shit — the custom-painted Harley, the sleeve tats, the boots, the beard, all of it — is just cosplay.