You Are Not Free to Move Out of the Country
12th November 2020
there comes a time when a sizable portion of the population swears they’re this close to leaving the country for good. The most visible adherents of this time-honored ritual are American celebrities, whose bold promises to blow the national popsicle stand echo throughout history. Who can forget Alec Baldwin and friends swearing to depart if George W. Bush won the Oval Office in 2000? Eight years later, a lesser Baldwin (Stephen) and other conservative pseudo-stars also swore to self-exile if Barack Obama took power. Two elections’ worth of Donald Trump have yielded similar pledges by everyone from Lena Dunham and John Legend to 50 Cent and Lil Pump.
Needless to say none of those people actually left the United States. Mocking such transparently bogus vows has become a pastime of its own. Even right wing comedians—whose devotion to tongue-washing the loafers of power far outstrips their ability to induce laughter—can land a solid line or two at the expense of deluded stars threatening to take their talents overseas. When Bruce Springsteen claimed he’d relocate to Australia if Trump won reelection, Fox News guest Michael Loftus came the closest he’ll ever get to delivering a zinger when he said, “I guess it gives new meaning to ‘Born to Run.’”