Sarah Hyland Shares Her Story of Being Sexually Assaulted by High School Friend
28th September 2018
These days, nobody is anybody unless she was assaulted in high school.
And, of course, nobody will know you’re the victim (and get the appropriate Victim Pokemon Points) unless you ‘share your story’.
I have to confess that I was never sexually assaulted in high school, no doubt due to the fact that I didn’t got to parties full of drunks. Boy, if only I knew what an opportunity I was passing up….
(Oh, would somebody remind me who Sarah Hyland is?)
September 28th, 2018 at 09:20
She plays the slutty daughter on Modern Family.
My question is: What constitutes sexual assault?
In the past, I would have taken that to mean rape – or at least attempted rape. Pretty serious stuff, to say the least. But apparently now it can be defined as almost anything. So if I look longingly at the cash drawer in the bank, have I committed some form of robbery?
One thing I am certain about, based on the recent witch hunt in Washington, every single member of my high school graduating class was ineligible for any position requiring Senate approval by the time they reached the age of 19.
A footnote: I did see a funny meme of Fauxcahontas claiming to have been assaulted by John Smith.