No Burritos For You!
29th May 2017
Jim Goad takes on The Burrito Kerfuffle.
I’m not a fan of Mexican food, for reasons which should be obvious. Although I hold Mexicans in the highest esteem as a proud and noble (if exceedingly short) people, they tend to score poorly on standardized tests and have never invented much of note beyond nachos. I can’t think of a single Mexican comedian, musician, writer, or filmmaker who’s inspired me. To put it bluntly, I’ve never appropriated anything from them because I’ve never wanted to.
I never eat food from a place where more people are moving here from there than are moving there from here. I figure they know something I don’t, and the food is the chief suspect.
Portland, OR is one of the best American cities to enjoy from a distance. After all, it hosted what is easily one of my Top Three Favorite Hate-Crime Hoaxes of all time in the person of one Azalea Cooley, an allegedly cancer-stricken, wheelchair-bound black lesbian who wound up being the person who, when all was said and done, turned out to be the Mystery Klansman who was burning crosses in her own backyard.
Plus the rain. Don’t forget the rain.