DYSPEPSIA GENERATION

Read it.

A graduate student at the University of Missouri has begun a hunger strike that he says will not end until either he dies or university president Tim Wolfe is fired.

Jonathan Butler, who describes himself as a “liberation activist” on his Twitter profile, sent a letter to the UM Board of Curators on Monday morning, laying down the terms of the strike.

I’m sure they trembled in their boots. Well, Birkenstocks.

“During this hunger strike, I will not consume any food or nutritional sustenance at the expense of my health until either Tim Wolfe is removed from office or my internal organs fail and my life is lost,” Butler claims

Sounds like a plan. What’s not to like? Unfortunately I’m sure he’s going to keep blathering during the process, so there’s no rose without a thorn.

In the publicly-posted letter, Jonathan Butler blames President Wolfe—whom he referred to as “decaying flesh”—for “a slew of racist, sexist, homophobic, etc[.] incidents” since Wolfe took office in 2012.

Butler, who is receiving a master’s in education, according to his LinkedIn profile, lists the university’s decision to cancel its contract with Planned Parenthood as one of those “racist, sexist, homophobic, etc[.] incidents.”

I guess he’s worried about getting pregnant and not being able to afford a you-know-what. You know what student budgets are like.

Butler also claims that the loss of health insurance for graduate students—the result of an IRS ruling on Obamacare—is another example of what he says is the failure of the university to create “a safe and inclusive place” for “marginalized/underrepresented students.”

Well, he was the kind of guy Obamacare was aimed at. Seems to me his beef is with Obama, not Wolfe.

Several students have publicly voiced their support for Butler on Twitter, telling him to “remain strong” and declaring themselves in “solidarity” with him.

Although not, of course, to the extent of going on a hunger strike as well. You know how it is — an expression of solidarity is sufficient, without, like, actually doing anything. We’re with you, brother. [burp]

Butler previously led a group of black students in forming a human chain to block president Wolfe’s car at the university’s homecoming parade in October, as part of the students stated goal of new “inclusive policies” at the university, “as well as an overall shift toward a safer and more inclusive campus environment.”

Human chains to block people’s cars are an obvious step toward a safer and more inclusive campus environment, don’t you know.

The university has promised to require diversity training for all six thousand incoming freshmen, and already allows students to turn in their peers and professors for so-called “bias incidents.”

That worked so well for the old Soviet Union that it has quickly become a fashion in this country. We long to get rid of that dead weight Obama and have a leader like Putin that will get things done.

Despite these concessions, however, Butler and other students continue to call for Wolfe’s job. In addition to Butler’s hunger strike, Missouri students have launched a Change.org petition addressed to Missouri Governor Jay Nixon, demanding that he fire president Wolfe.

Let the world tremble before a Change.org petition; since Jay Nixon is a Democrat, this actually might work.

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 7th, 2015 at 15:35 and is filed under Axis of Drivel -- Adventures in Narrative Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.